Donation instead of Gift Registration??

Usually the advice is to not do that, because sometimes people don't always agree with the charity or get testy about being told how to donate their money. Having said that, in this instance, I'd see it differently, and would be happy to contribute. However, I'd run that all past your niece first to make sure they are OK with the gesture, as they may not want to feel like a charity at your wedding. My best to your niece and her child.

It's entirely appropriate to link to the fundraiser for your niece's child on your wedding website and suggest donations in lieu of gifts. Communicate the cause with sincerity, explaining its significance to you. Many guests will appreciate the opportunity to contribute to a meaningful cause rather than traditional gifts.

My husband and I listed a few of our favorite charities and asked for donations in lieu of gifts, because we were in the same boat of being middle-aged and not needing stuff. We made sure to list more than one, so people could choose one they approved of.


I don’t see anything wrong with listing your niece’s charity or fund, though I’d list the most formal thing possible instead of “send cash to my niece.” And as with any gift request, it shouldn’t be pushed or pressured.

I think that is a very sweet and kind gesture. I do not see a problem with you asking for people to donate instead of giving you gifts or money. Like Jack said you will have some people that is skeptical of donating to a charity. I am one of those people that are on the fence about donating to charity only because of some of the scams that have been out there. I am one of the people that would rather send cash to your niece.


What you could do is when you make your card box add a small sign to let them know that any money given will be donated to your niece for her condition.

As empathetic as I might be and as good a cause as this is, it’s a wedding, not a fundraiser and not the appropriate time or place to ask guests for donations to any cause. Sorry. It’s not OK to ask for any gift, especially money, or to direct other people’s charitable giving.

A registry is supposedly different because you’re not directly asking for anything. People have to search for it or ask those close to you where you are registered. At most, if people ask you can say you or loved ones don’t need anything because you are concentrating on saving up for your niece. And don’t register. People will get the hint. Then you can donate any monetary gifts you may receive. Same likely outcome but more acceptable.

I think this is an absolutely beautiful gesture.

I agree with Jacks and to ask the parent if this is suitable. If the child will attend the wedding, you as the Host should ensure they feel safe as all other guests. Some adults knowing the child's personal business may unintentionally stare or give looks of sympathy.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. Shower/wedding gifts are for your home as a couple, not for other people to use. Many people may find it inappropriate for you to spend their money on a relative’s medical equipment. GoFundMe was created for medical emergencies such as this. Start a fundraiser there and spread the information via word of mouth or pass out flyers but not as part of your registry or wedding in any way.

When my Dad re married my step mom had a powerpoint durring the reception about how she was buying a peanut grinder for the family she stayed with in peace core. Back then GoFundMe didn't exist so she collected checks.
Maybe it was tacky? I was like 12 so I don't really know. I think it is really gracious to help people who need it.