Question about alcohol

It's judgment Kristen. And you targeted people on this forum, which is again the CG.

Actually, I think my comment bears consideration. If your friends are such flaming assholes that they can't even come to your wedding and have a glass of wine without punching out a window, yes, you need new friends.

@MrsFallBride then I'm assuming you've never judged a drug addict (unless you yourself have shot up heroin which I am going to assume not)

The venue we chose doesn't allow alcohol. 90% of the guests we intend to invite attend this church so they already know its not allowed. Those other 10% we are telling personally. I have had people on here say FFS change your venue and properly host. I have people say well you're not properly hosting so just elope to make everyone happy. I've had people say well i would never come to your wedding if you're not going to give me a drink. I've had people call me names (reading between the lines of course) because I refuse to have alcohol. They have said well people are going to sneak out and drink anyway and said I would be responsible for them because I forced them to sneak and drink.

When truth be told I don't drink because I have watched my dad go from a social drinker to a daily drinker to an alcoholic to a flat our drunk and die of scorosis of the liver. So i understand why you may feel this way. Do I go out yes. Am I around people who drink? Yes. But our venue is important to us so this is where we are having it.

I would suggest having an early start and finish time so those who chose to drink can do so at a decent hour. Mine will start at 2 and should end by 6 and yea I am having a dj (people do dance without drinking) and we are serving a buffet style meal. But I don't expect them to stay shortly past lunch

@helena, I was refering to the post about using hyperchristianity (or whatever religion) as an "excuse" not to have alcohol. All I was saying is that I find real religious conviction an acceptable reason and I'm not about to debate with the couple over whether their religious beliefs make sense or are based on reason or the "true" religion. As an atheist no religious beliefs make sense to me but I accept that some people have them and genuinely abide by them.

Of course you should never use un-genuine religious conviction as an excuse to save money.

I wouldn't expect a dedicated Muslim to serve wine, a Jewish person to serve pork, or a Buddhist/Hindu vegetarian to serve meat at their wedding and I think at that point it's up to the guest to either decline or deal with one meal not of their preferance

I don't even understand why this is always such a hot button issue. You don't want to serve alcohol, then don't serve it. Be an adult, stand in that decision. Do not get upset because strangers on the internet don't validate that for you. The majority of people here believe in beer and wine at the very least. You disagree? Cool. Have your dry wedding for whatever dry reason. Move on.

Melanie, you are ultimately in charge of the available beverages, entertainment, and food at your wedding! Personally I'm having a dry wedding and no dance, and instead of serving alcohol we are serving other fun, cozy drinks for the winter (hot cocoa bar and hot cider), we are hiring a caricature artist, having a photo booth, and we are crushing a pinata. Our reception will only be three hours TOPS, probably less than that. People will be out by 7pm with full bellies and time to "wind down" at home if they want! The reason we are not having alcohol at the wedding is because of the strong values my parents and immediate family hold against alcohol. Conveniently, it is cheaper as well, and we are spending some of that money on other entertainment.

If there are some of your friends who you know would desire/expect alcohol at your wedding, maybe just tell them ahead of time so they don't come in with different expectations. If they still decide to attend the wedding, knowing there will be no alcohol, then complain during or after, at least you communicated with them!

I would do virgin margaritas as an alternative they're still fun and enjoyable without alcohol

And @celia, fair enough. It won't happen again. I see that you're a 5 star user and must be well versed in the CGs and FAQs. Including the ones about changing your avatar

Why do people even post these things here? If you aren't going to properly host (and yes, wine/beer/drinks are properly hosting), you aren't going to find a safe haven here.

Please don't do virgin margaritas. It's an insult to anyone who is over the age 21 and enjoys a real drink. Mock drinks are for children. Just serve lemonades, sodas or whatever else gets served at a dry wedding.

@Becca sounds fun!

Thanks Kristen! I'm excited for it!

@Becca-you do know your wedding sounds like a kids birthday party? Also never call a drink fun unless there is booze in it. It's insulting to adult beverages

Helena I don't mind! There will be lots of kids there! And I definitely find hot cocoa to be a fun drink! Yayyy fun drinks!

@helena, though I agree with most of your post, I don't think calling a non alcoholic drink "fun" is insulting. FYI - drinks don't have feelings.

As someone who is in the wine business, I find the comments about nothing good happening when alcohol is involved to be off base.

Sure, some people cannot handle their alcohol, but the vast majority can (and do).

One of the biggest issues, in the US, is that we make alcohol this big mysterious thing. Kids can't have it until they turn 21, which makes them either sneak it early, or binge once they hit 21. European countries do not have this same issue, as children are given small amounts of wine with dinner. It is not a mystery, it is part of a healthy lifestyle.

Becca, I hope that you are serving more than cocoa and hot cider. If I came to your wedding, I would not have anything to drink as I cannot do the sugar in cocoa and cider.

Yes, good point Kathy. We are also serving coffee, soda (diet and regular), and water.

@JD-other than my first coffee in the morning to make me human I can honestly say I have never called a drink fun that didn't have booze in it. Can you honestly say that you would look at a virgin margarita and after drinking it go "hey that was fun. It was so exciting?"

Shhhh. My wine may have feelings. I'll open it up tonight and ask it