Question about alcohol

A beer and wine only bar may balance out your guests pretty well. When you add liquors and spirits it can get your guests to that point alot quicker.

@kristen- such a good point in your comment regarding the contradiction often used: people are adults and hence can enjoy responsibly but they will also sneak in booze where it's not allowed and get hammered.

No. It will not be amazing. It'll be legal. People will eat and leave. This is just fact.

@helena handbasket- My FH's family doesn't drink due to religion. Some of mine do and some don't(not all my family is the same religion).

@EibhlinM- Why should she have to provide any beer/wine/alcohol just because it is at lunch or dinner time?

And can someone explain WHAT is wrong with a dry wedding?? I get that most social norms expect you have alcohol at the wedding but that varies based on a lot of factors:

1- Religions- some actually view alcohol as a mortal sin thus you don't provide it. Yes there are some that view alcohol along the same lines as drugs. NO I don't know why.

2- personal choice- I doubt that a person who has been to many AA meetings is going to have alcohol at their wedding. Are they wrong?

3- Who the Heck says you have to have alcohol at the wedding to have fun/a good time????

4- If the guests EXPECT alcohol then perhaps they ought to look at the reason they are the wedding in the first place- TO CELEBRATE 2 PEOPLE COMING TOGETHER AS 1!

5- Some people do it because they just don't wanna have it there, or can't afford that and the other things they actually want.

ALSO- if we are going the "We need to do it because we are thanking the guests and it is a huge NO NO to not have it" route- then should the bouquet toss and garter toss be thrown out as a lot of people feel awkward with it(mainly the garter toss)? Should they make sure that all food is sit down because that is the "social norm"?

I get it that there are some reasons for a wedding with alcohol but there are plenty for one without.

I do agree that without alcohol you ought to bump other things up a bit, perhaps do a brunch, or have a bit more for snacks, or even have virgin drinks instead(MY CHOICE!!)

Your wedding, your rules. My FH doesn't drink and I barely drink myself. Plus our venue is 2 hours away in the Shenandoah valley. Not a good formula for drinking. I feel like people who care about you the most aren't there for alcohol. They're there for you. If they don't come because it's a dry wedding, you've saved money on people that would waste your time and you weed out the people who don't need to be there. Besides the whole "you need counseling" is a bit dramatic. Sounds like some of you are willing to go into debt for or appease people who get over it and move on anyway. You paying for your guest to simply eat is being a good host. Everything else is extra "fluff". OP don't allow anyone to bully you into doing something you aren't comfortable with. As long as you made your guest aware of this fact you have given them the tools to make an informed decision to go or not. Again, your day, your way, enjoy your future union love. Dry brides unite lol

Yes, I totally believe this was an honest question and you are open to all suggestions concerning how to best solve this problem. You aren't looking for validation on a decision that you've already made at all. Completely sincerely wondering. Yup. Uh huh.

Someone should invent a forum just for dry wedding folks so they can talk about how cute their mocktails are going to be and high five each other for being so morally superior. Even share their potluck recipes! Yippeeee!

@LeeLee

Dry WeddingWire. Dire.com

@Teresa I am throwing out the garter & bouquet toss because it will be uncomfortable for me, FH, and our guests.

The whole "does everyone have to do a sit down dinner?!?!?" argument doesn't even make sense because it isn't about a social norm (which I think you'd have a hard time arguing anyway) because there are completely appropriate ways to have buffets, stations, or non meal time weddings with just passed apps or just the cake and some finger foods... If you are having a religious wedding, just be prepared for those who do not share the religion and prefer wine with their dinner to have less fun and leave early, and it would be a courtesy to let them know it is dry before hand because some may not want to partake.

The WW community is about opinions. You can't come get mad when the vast majority of us have different perspectives than you. I use the forums like I'm taking a poll of my guest list. If 95% of people here say an idea is bad and will make the wedding less fun, I guess that my guests would probably feel the same way. The difference is that only strangers on the internet will tell you an idea sucks directly.

If you are positive your guests are completely different and won't care and it will be perfect, then do it. But you aren't going to change or justify away the majority opinion you find here.

@Delfina - Yes!

It makes perfect sense. After all, they only listen to each others' advice (re: validation) anyway.

There is nothing in the bible that says you can't drink.

@Teresa-so there are people there who drink?

1-do you never go out in public where alcohol is served? Is every person invited the same religion?

2-there are many brides and grooms on here who are in recovery and are providing alcohol at their weddings. Part of recovery is being able to live normally in a world where people drink around you

3-99% of the population? If you want people to have fun and dance all night? *if* we ever went to a dry wedding we would leave immediately after dinner. Not that it would ever happen as we don't know a single person who would do this.

4-If I have bought you a shower gift, got you a wedding gift, taken time off work, bought new dress, driven to where your wedding is, gotten hotel room and you say that you don't care about your guests? What a slap in the face. Yes. We come to the ceremony to witness your marriage. The reception is to celebrate and thank everyone for coming. It's not about you.

5-then you can't afford to host a pretty pretty princess day. Go to your church and get married and take your family for a nice dinner.

Also the garter toss is a tradition that gross. Properly hosting your guests is etiquette. Not even close to the same thing.

Also what the hell is wrong with buffet? We had a buffet with two meat options, vegetarian dish, and a special gluten free dish for our one guest who requested it. Cause I cared about every single one of my guests who took time out of their lives to come witness our marriage.

I really dislike the religion justification. It completely chooses to ignore the fact that even Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding. And even Jesus had a glass of wine with dinner. Adults know how to enjoy responsibly, and there is nothing morally wrong with enjoying a glass of wine/beer/gin etc with dinner

@kristen the actual point is (if you've read these types of threads frequently) is that with a bartender, they will be able to cut people off BEFORE they've had too much. The venue also assumes legal responsibility (in most cases) if there is alcohol involved and an accident occurs. If people people bring in their own flasks there is nobody to cut them off in the (rare) event they have too much. YOU will be legally responsible if there is an accident in this case.

Point is most adults KNOW how to adult, but in the case of an adult who DOESN'T know how to adult, you want a bartender/venue to be responsible and NOT YOU.

A little far fetched to say that nothing good comes from drinking! I know a lot of people who met their future spouses while out at the bar tossing back drinks. That's something good, isn't it? FFS

Obviously there are bad things that come from it too, but mature adults know that.

All I read is "I don't want to pay for it so I am going to force my own beliefs on you. You took a day off? Paid for an outfit and travel? Bought us a gift? DON'T CARE because it is MY DAY!!"

@R&B so by your argument if someone comes and shoots up heroin and crashes his car on the way home from my wedding I am legally responsible? I didn't provide the heroin and it was done in secret.

Let's even consider something less far fetched and THC is now legal in many states. Someone tokes up at my wedding in secret when it was not provided and I'm liable? I've been to weddings when someone has been cut off by the bar tender but they get their buddies to help them out. Just saying.

I'd stick to open beer and wine. I share some of your thoughts. While I don't mind being around drinking, and I drink myself, I've seen people go too hard at weddings and I'm turned off by thought of people being that way at mine.

I myself am not having any alcohol at my wedding. We don't drink and everyone we are inviting knows this. We have been asked by a few people what the alcohol policy is and we said no alcohol at all. You know the response we got...We got told that's what we figured, can't wait to come. I decided to completely throw everything that should be and were doing what we want because it is our day. I don't know why certain things are such an issue on here but in real life I have seen it's not that big of a deal.

Kristen, yes, if someone leaves your event impaired and gets in to an accident the venue and you can be held responsible. This is why it is very important to have professionals serving guests and also making sure that you have adequate liability insurance.

The same holds true in your own home. You can be held responsible. You can also be held responsible if a friend falls in your home an incurs medical costs.