Question about alcohol

Have a small wedding with just you and immediate family and host them at a restaurant afterwards. If they know your feelings on alcohol, they may not drink and even if they do it would likely be just one drink or two with dinner. This will obviously negate dancing too.

Edit: I want to add that I can't really speak to where you are coming from because I enjoy relaxing with wine and partaking in open bars at weddings. While we are hosting a full open bar and a catered meal, if it truly makes you uncomfortable the above example is probably your best bet. Don't focus on the fact that some people may drink, live and let live.

Do open beer and wine only. Have a bartender and trust them to cut people off.

Its YOUR wedding!! Don't be guilted by "proper etiquette"!! its also proper etiquette for ppl not to get drunk & ruin the party but they do. I think your guest can handle a couple of hours without alcohol..

Oh, FFS, Satara...

Cake and punch. Cake and punch.

Invite only people who feel the way you do or who wouldn't mind celebrating without alcohol. In this case, probably just your immediate family aka people who WANT to be there no matter what.

I know you didn't say this OP, but it kills me when people act like it's a huge privilege to go to a wedding. The posters who say "they should just be happy to celebrate with us" like theirs is the Royal Wedding and everyone is dying for an invitation. Yes I'm happy to attend my friend's' weddings, but it also requires a lot of time, effort, and money as they are always out of state for me. So when I say invite people who TRULY want to be there and don't care about alcohol, that's why I suggested just family. Because everyone else expects a good time, and for most that includes alcohol.

Either trust your guests to be adults and serve them alcohol, OR (if you really just don't want alcohol) have a cake and punch reception at a non-meal time, with the reception only lasting about 2 hours. It will be short, fairly casual and definitely not a big party atmosphere, but that's the trade off with dry weddings.

Don't listen to Satara- being a good host means providing for your guests. That being said I like KDoubleU's suggestion a lot- make it more of a dinner party vibe and keep it small, people will have maybe a glass of wine or two with dinner and it won't be a big deal.

Either have a really small wedding and hope they know your views on alcohol or understand that the reception isn't about you and host beer and wine with a bartender for your guests.

Can you do a daytime wedding? I've heard that people tend to drink less at 11:00am. At least, that's what FH said when we were talking about consumption bar costs.

Most of it is knowing your audience. FH and I are similar to you two. Neither of us drink, and I get really bothered by drunk people due to past experiences. But, I know that my family and friends aren't going to be out of control.

Generally speaking, I don't find it fair to punish other people for my issues.

The only time a dry wedding is ok is if 100% of the guest list feel the same way. If you have friends that like a glass of wine or two with a meal you really should not judge them for it. If you are that strong in your conviction don't serve alcohol but only invite likeminded guests.

@Taylor S also has a good suggestion with a non-meal time cake and punch reception! If you're not looking for a big party atmosphere, this is appropriate and expected to be dry.

Another option that follows the smaller celebration side would be the restaurant suggestion from @KDoubleU, especially for a mealtime affair.

Otherwise, again, open beer and wine is perfectly fine and falls in line with good hosting. Have a bartender and trust them to cut them off.

Kudos to you for admitting you don't like being around it. Wow

Do what makes your FH and you happy.. remember this is your memories.. I'm sure your guests can handle a few hours without alcohol

Not one specific incident, but I have never seen anything good come from alcohol. Anytime there is an incidence with alcohol, it's never good, and always negative. I don't feel the need to rely on alcohol to enjoy myself. I feel that it's so sad that people feel like they need alcohol to have a good time. None of my family drinks, none of my FH's family drinks, maybe a couple of our friends do, but the majority of our friends don't. It just makes no sense to me how alcohol has to be included in a wedding otherwise you are the worst host in the world. People can't survive a 2 hour ceremony and reception without a drink of alcohol? It's not like there won't be food and drinks. Just drinks without alcohol. And if people have the attitude that they can't have fun without alcohol, I don't want to be around them. And honestly, I don't think anyone I knows or would invite would feel that way. They all support how I feel 100%. But now being on here it's like the worst crime in the world to not want alcohol at your own wedding. So I'm trying to figure out what to do because obviously I don't want to offend anyone or be rude to my guests. But according to people on here, the only way to do that is by serving something that's going to make me not even want to be at my own wedding.

I am assuming your friends and family know how you feel and would respect that enough to not get drunk at your wedding.

If you can't handle being around people after they've had one or two drinks, there is a bigger issue here.

I am not trying to be rude or judgmental (really) but have you considered talking about this with a therapist? I'm just trying to think about how complicated your life must be if you're constantly avoiding situations where alcohol is present. How do you handle holidays? Or going out to dinner? What about after hours work functions where adults are drinking? There are so many things that you may be missing out on, it's a shame.

Melanie, I do think dry weddings tend to make people freak out here, but that's because 95% of the time couples come up with the most ridiculous reasons to not serve alcohol when it really comes down to being cheap.

If you are sure that your family and friends feel the same way you do, then of course you wouldn't serve alcohol because no one would drink it. But if you feel the need to come on here and ask, then maybe that's not the case?

Either way, if you choose to not serve alcohol it's not technically a breach of etiquette, but a lot of people just won't enjoy themselves and let loose as much. You have to be realistic with you expectations. (Again, if your guest list is truly used to this kind of celebration, then you have nothing to worry about).

Well, if you know people won't be drinking a lot anyway, except for a few family or friends, what's the problem with having the options?

Maybe someone would like a glass of wine to celebrate, nothing more, nothing less. They likely won't get drunk or even effected at a level you would notice.

Do a consumption bar where you only pay for the alcohol drank, if that's an option.

Dont cater to WW (complete strangers) opinions on how YOU should have YOUR wedding. If majority of your guests and family feel the same way you do, I say have a dry wedding. Why not? If you offend people who do like to drink, from what you are saying, you dont even want to be friends with them anyway. If its that important to you, do what you want. Thats my opinion. Now for me? I like a few drinks when I go to a wedding, but I dont want people to be completely wasted.. so we are doing a beer/wine bar only.