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Just Said Yes July 2021

Planning/not planning a wedding in a hellish covid world

Kathleena, on May 23, 2020 at 2:21 AM Posted in Community Conversations 1 2

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How is everyone else doing planning for a fall wedding? I have put my planning on hold and might have a tiny elopement while we are free before/in case they lock us up again in the fall. My question is when or if I should resume planning for nov. so that all the rescheduled spring summer people don't snap up all the professionals? even 2021 will likely book up, but I don't want to put in deposits and pay twice if it cancelled and I can't get them back,

Does anyone else want to give up and despair without even trying very hard? Hate the government, God, the universe, etc. and resent that everyone else before this March got a real wedding and we get jipped? Feel unhappy and anxious about this everyday and will until a real wedding happens? Worried that some guests will die (more likely of old age than the virus) or lose their memories or not be able to travel in the year or two it takes for real life to resume?

Looking for loopholes and trying to have some kind of ceremony at least so the virus can't win entirely and I can start to have some manner of reluctant peace about the situation. I want legal wedding, pictures of me in my dress at least one with no mask, and my parents there bare minimum. Then I can relax a little and not feel like my whole life is on hold and I have no control and only rage/despair on the day I was supposed to have it if it gets postponed instead of being upset everyday thinking about the what ifs.

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Latest activity by Amy, on May 27, 2020 at 5:08 PM

Super March 2020
Jennifer · on May 23, 2020 at 8:59 AM
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So I cannot tell you when to start planning again, because you are correct, everything is a mess and your emotions seem to be spot on with how many brides are feeling. We canceled our wedding because postponing wasn't really an option. I was devastated. Even with an elopement, devastated. The excitement tbat is supposed to be building during the day wasn't there. It was more like, let's gets this done before the world ends. Even after that, it was hard to shake the idea of losing such a special memory. It was special but something was missing, family and close friends.

While other brides who had the opportunity to experience a wedding are not at fault, I get it. It is hard to see them posting anniversary photos of them in gowns, with family and just pure happiness. So because this just absolutely sucks, you are doing the right thing by trying to look for a loophole.
After our tiny ceremony, I still felt like I got screwed over. My husband FINALLY was able to request leave after the military had changed his orders 4x. So here is what I have done....hired a new photographer, hired a hair/MAU, hired a neat old car, paid for photography time at a gorgeous hotel. Dinner at the fancy restaurant attached. Super simple. The main benefit of this...to feel like a darn bride. To feel the excitement of my husband actually seeing me in my dress (I wore a backup one). To feel put together instead of "thrown together." I can finally say, I am getting excited again.
Everything will work out for you. I never would encourage someone to give up their dream day, but we are being forced to come up with alternative plans. It can still, and will be, beautiful! Take a breather, love yourself, and this will work out.
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WeddingWire Administrator August 2013
Amy · on May 27, 2020 at 5:08 PM
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Hi Kathleena,
I'm so sorry that you're feeling nervous, sad, frustrated, angry, and/or disappointed. You can take a break and get back to planning when you're feeling up to it. This is a good read: Wedding Planning Guilt Is Real Right Now—Here's How to Avoid It.
The general consensus for November is that it's too soon to panic, but it never hurts to have a plan B. Here's a related discussion: November 2020 wedding - anyone postponing yet?
You definitely are not alone during this difficult time. Here's a couple of discussions that may offer some degree of hope or emotional support:
The 5 stages of grief...
Where's the support when you need it?
As you mentioned, some couples are adjusting their plans to get married (one way or another) on their original dates if that appeals to you. Options include ceremony now/reception later, elopement now/full wedding later, micro weddings and more. Also, WeddingWire has created a ton of resources here: Our COVID-19 Weddings Advice Guide.
I'm hoping for the best in November!
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