My **NEW** husband is not invited to my sister's wedding - 2 months after ours!!

I would never ever go if my husband was not invited. What a selfish bitch move.

Don't go. Tell your mother that you will only attend if your husband is invited. Everyone will get over it eventually. If you pull the ultimatum, you really have nothing to lose. Either both of you goes, or neither of you goes. Either way, you get to be together. Remind your mother that you're a newlywed and to ask you to be away from your husband for that long is a burden.

It's interesting that you're "Tearing the family apart" but they are the ones quite literally SEPARATING YOUR FAMILY. Ugh. I am so sorry.

I would, in no uncertain terms, tell my sister to fuck off if she pulled something like this. This is your husband, your family, and your new family take priority over her "dream wedding." Her priorities are fucked up.

I think the fact that your parents are condoning this ridiculous behaviour is the most atrocious part.

Put your foot down and stand up for your husband and stand up to your ridiculous 'family'.

Your husband is the family you chose. Your sister needs to back down or deal with a lifetime of hell from her FH's family.

I certainly wouldn't go and I would detail to her why I wasn't attending and if my family gave me grief about it, tell them they are condoning horrible behavior and you just don't support that.

You mentioned you and your sister do not get along particularly well is it possible that she is doing this so you wont come but she can put the blame on you?

That's exactly what she's doing. She wants me to say I'm not coming to make me the 'bad person'

No, you're not the bad person; you're the MARRIED person.

What if the wedding dates were reversed? Would she want to attend your wedding without her husband? She is behaving like a child...how old is she? Such passive-aggressive behavior!

There is no freakin' way I'd even be considering it. My spouse is not a pawn to be used to keep peace.

I would go. If you husband cant keep himself occupied for a day without you, there are bigger issues. Honestly if i was in your shoes I would tell hubby to stay home and go alone.

^^ good job completely missing the point.

Centerpiece Floral is right on target - you give in to her childish demands and your parents guilt trip now and you are setting yourself up for many more years of this behavior. Is it easy to stand your ground when they are tossing out lines about tearing the family apart? No. However, it needs to be done. You and your DH are united in marriage and should be able to attend a FAMILY wedding as a couple. End of story.

Decline

Thanks for all the support on this. I think I know what I should do, but it doesn't make it easier...I would never dare ask a friend to leave their SO at home for my wedding, let alone a family member. glad to hear you all don't think I'm overreacting

You mentioned your parents are paying- have you talked to them about it? It seems like your sister has no reason to be so blatantly disrespectful towards your marriage. How would she feel if you didn't invite her "fiancé" to your wedding!!!

My parent's gifted money for the wedding and they want each of us to have whatever type of wedding we want. I can tell my mom is understanding of the situation I'm in, but at the end of the day, she would rather have peace than really confront the problem...the issue is that I have the opposite personality and have stood up for myself and FH on many occasions about this, until they finally beat me down and give in. I'm not sure if I have the strength to fit this.

I've used that rational that if her fiance wasn't invited, I'd never hear the end of it. However, because we're having a wedding of 70 it's 'only reasonable' that we would accomodate. Also, I don't want to be petty and not invite them both - because no matter how I feel about them, they are family and for that reason I should give them the decency of an invite

That's complete BS.

Show your mom and sister this thread, and then respectfully decline.

I agree you should not be petty, and invite both of them to your wedding. That does not mean you have to attend theirs. ESPECIALLY in light of the fact that they are having a destination wedding, with an enormous expense attached to it. Please stand your ground. This is very important.