LEAVE YOUR EXPLETIVE KIDS AT HOME!!!!!

I went to a wedding where the couple were immigrants and didnt speak English but for some reason had the ceremony in English to show off how American they were. I ended up translating for the guests.

I went to a baby shower (mine) where my ex's family and random friends, coworkers, coworkers of friends and family, and weird people down the street attended. I was the only "white" person (and über preggo) there so they figured out it was me but assumed I didn't speak their language, so I spent the entire time listening to people I didn't know talk shit about how my ex knocked up a white girl and married her for a green card...

Nice Cat I would have been beyond pissed

LOL you should have been there when I stood up and gave a thank you speech in their language (flawless, by the way). Jaws were dropping.

Hahaha that would have been freaking awesome

LOL wow that's some mess right there...my mom was sick at her 2nd wedding, turned out she got the flu and spent her wedding night in the bathroom

most ridiculous baby shower - oh God. kinda ties into what i'm dreading with my wedding. FSIL's (FH's SIL) 1st baby shower, FH's aunt's sisters (so "aunts" but not by blood, but have been family friends for like 20 years) decided it was a perfect time to break out the bachelorette party "favors..." needless to say FSIL was not happy that there were weenies all over the place.

these are the same "aunts" that "have" to be invited to our wedding. they went to FH's brother's wedding and apparently behaved themselves, but...they just...ugh. ever seen the movie Mean Girls? they're like the Plastics. they have to have all eyes on them, they're the center of attention, and everyone has to want to do things for them. gag.

Oh. AND THEY ALL HAVE BAD @$$ KIDS. never have i ever met such women that are literally 16 year old fast-tail girls trapped in 40+ year old women's bodies. WITH CHILDREN.

Ohhhhh Angie. That sucks I can just imagine them out there on the dance floor during the first dance!!

I was sick at my first, but it was JOP and I had morning sickness

Now you understand a little more about why i need so much SA-CURITY at my wedding. if someone gets out of control then i need to have enough people to escort them somewhere and tell them to calm down LOL

I'd like to put this as my mission statement. I am so worried about children being at our wedding... I do NOT want this to happen. I don't know how to make it not happen. Will you be putting something in your invitations stating this? I don't know how to word it without being rude.

I have a story, but it doesn't involve a wedding - the thrice-in-five-years-bride-to-be never made it down the aisle. This girl went to my college. On her first two wedding websites, in her "about us" section she went to X "Collage" of Y "Univeristy".

The 1st engagement ended about a month before the wedding, not sure why; the 2nd ended a week before, because Bride cheated on Groom 2. Her parents paid for both weddings & lost all that money. None of us ever got our gifts back. Now she's engaged again, for next year. The 2nd website is still up; the "about us" & "ceremony details" are full of errors. She changed the groom's name to a movie villain to make it harder to find, but the url is the same.

The 3rd website has just their names, their registry which is up to over 150 items, & a plea for money because her parents refuse to pay for this one. I'm not her friend anymore, but she posts links to her registry weekly on FB. Girl, why do you need another blender for?! You already got 2!

You know who doesn't have a blender? Me! Can I have the one I got you three years ago? I should just set up a fake marriage to get stuff, since I basically have nothing. Hooray moving two states away via public transit with three suitcases and couch surfing for two months because of an awesome career opportunity - it really is awesome, but I'd kill for a smootie. Gimme mah blender!

@kelly - you could always put "we have reserved _ of _ seats in your honor" on your invites/rsvps; this is what i'm planning on doing. also, because we're having a small wedding (small according to us; 100 guests but my grandparents on both sides of my family alone are 1 of 12 or 13...) and my mom's not afraid to tell people about themselves, and most of my side of the guest list are ready and willing to leave their kids at home or have teenaged kids, we're hoping to get lucky and have less than 10-15 kids there total.

@tiffanny - wowwwwwwwwwwwww some people honestly have no shame. did she ever appear on jerry springer or maury povich????

@Kelly- just put "adult only reception" in your invitation. Then when people ask if you can make an exception for their kids, be firm and tell them no.

@Tiffanny-- wow...just. Wow.....

Give me her address. I'll go get your blender.

Edit: now I know what to get you for Christmas lol

One of our clients has been engaged 10 times

no wedding its always called off at the last minute

she is a proud gold digger

MissB I totally need to pull something like that. My "honeyfund" would eventually convert to a college fund for my kids

Damn me and my morals...

Lol she has 10 wedding dresses, they add up to over $40 grand

she has 10 rings too

Http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vwNcNOTVzY

@missb OMG you need a SA-CURITY dept...@catrapoin let's do this!!

Lol gurl I am my own sa-curity I got your back

@Angie- I'm on it! As soon as LadyCrystal gets my Security onesie, I'm so there.