It seems like no one is coming to the wedding

But how did you ask them to be Groomsmen specifically? and did they say yes to it?

confused why anyone that was set to be groomsmen would send a rsvp back as no.

Dammit Janet! Why is there no refresh button on mobile?! I want to watch this story unfold!

No tuxes involved. We're having a country themed wedding so all the guys were in boots.

Why aren't you answering the other questions? Did they know they were groomsmen?

One of them he asked in person and the other two I think he called and asked. The fourth is his brother who has not backed out.

He said they responded back in January they they accepted the position as a groomsmen. As the bride, I did not ask these guys myself. When I ordered the flowers and such back in April , my fiancée said they were all still game.

Do you have any idea why they would do that? I feel like we are missing a big piece of information.

How many RSVP'd no already? if you only sent the invites last week and the RSVP deadline is mid-August you have time to get some yes'. If he asked the groomsmen to be groomsmen and they said yes that's a commitment they made to actually attend so they probably sent it as a joke.

eta- word

So… your groomsmen weren't asked to be groomsmen until you sent out RSVP cards? Also, 16 hours is a long ways to travel for a wedding. The saying goes, "no one cares about your wedding as much as you do." Thats a far drive for distant friends to make. But at this point, all there is to do is look at the bright side. You're saving thousands of dollars! You could potentially take that extra cash and buy a videographer so you can share your big day with friends and family who couldn't make it! I'm sorry you are having poor luck with the guest list, but the more intimate the more you can bond with your guests. It's not all bad.

I really think they are kidding.

Have your FH call them. Figure it all out.

So to catch everyone up, 3 guys who knew they were groomsmen RSVP'd no to the wedding. This was the only time they said they could not make it. I will admit that my fiancée is not best at keeping in touch wil people but I sent the save the date cards out and these guys texted saying they got the save the dates. No mention then that they weren't coming. This was in March. Now it's July and they are sayin they can't come. The save the date clearly indicated where the wedding would be held and when. They knew several months ago what was going to happen.

They have to be kidding.

You say that you have a country themed wedding and they are wearing boots. Is anything else coordinated?

No, Kristy, my fiancée told me he asked them to be groomsmen in January.

A few questions...is this a first wedding with FH (i.e., did you elope a year ago and decide to have your big event this March) ? Is it a vow renewal (and if it is, is it anything under ten years)? Have the family members, the ones declining, been to a wedding for either or you that took place in the last five years (i.e., married/divorced/getting married again)? If you answered yes to any of those questions, they could be reasons that people aren't motivated to attend. I'm not judging you -- just trying to get to the bottom of this because you have huge decline rate.

I'm thinking the reason is the distance. "Not in their backyard" sounds like everyone has to travel, and travel means gas, tolls, or airplane tickets plus lodging. In September, it means the kids are in school and will have to be pulled out or overnight childcare is necessary. Also, by September, vacations have usually been taken, and attending a long distance wedding might require more time off of work. The groomsmen not coming is odd. If they agreed to be groomsmen, they should have at least had a discussion with your FH when they realized the location wasn't in their backyard (and if it is, something is very wrong here). Is there some unresolved issue that people are still holding onto -- something involving you or FH? You must have some idea in your head -- however remote -- because unless you are having a destination wedding that requires extensive travel and passports, your decline rate is very high.

I feel like there's still something major getting left out of the story. Did you or your FH do anything to upset the groomsmen to spur them to RSVP no? Get into a fight, maybe? Or insult someone's mother/wife/sister? Just spit balling, here.

Wait.. they just backed out. I hope they are trying to be funny. Maybe your FH should call, just to be sure?

Corinne, nope. I ordered boutonieres in my wedding flowers for them but as far shirts and cowboy hats went we wanted to save costs for everyone and let them wear their own stuff. There wasn't much to coordinate except for them to show up. My bridesmaids are in mismatched dresses.

Either the groomsmen lack integrity or their joking, because this doesn't make any sense. Why commit to an important position and then back out 'late in the game?'