It seems like no one is coming to the wedding

OP, I do not think that any distance is far enough for a mother to consider as a reason for skipping their child's wedding, but that is my opinion. I meant more that you would see a decline in friends and distant family. Immediate family and your closest friends (like those in your BP) are the ones I would consider most likely to make the trip to attend.

If his mum is iffy about coming there has to be more of a reason than distance. My mum is flying 8+ hours across the Atlantic ocean to come to my wedding. She wouldn't miss it for anything. I cannot imagine a parent missing their child's wedding because of distance. There must be more to it.

As for the groomsmen - very odd. I've made sure that FH is in constant contact with his because one of them is traveling a fair distance and I wanted to make sure he was coming long before we sent out invites!

Ok, the groomsmen are bailing and you don't know why. What I would like to know is...who are all these posters commenting on these threads?!

It seems like your FH had a falling out with his family and friends back home that he is not telling you about. The GM are one thing. His mom being on the fence sounds like something else is going on. Either way just enjoy your day with the people that will be there. Don't worry about the people who couldn't make it.

Yeah, my mom is driving 16 hours. I did not invite many people from my side of the family so I understand that effects attendance. It's really everybody on his side that is being strange. I can only vouch for his dad, his brother, and his sister coming. I guess his dad will probably bring his girlfriend. That leaves over 60 family members that's he insisted I invite that have either verbally said no already or are being very wishy washy. His parents have been divorced long enough and both are in new relationships that I did not consider that a factor, especially for their youngest son.

If 3 out of 4 of your FH's groomsmen just backed out and as you put it the majority of his immediate family just RSVP'd NO to your wedding, (this is just my personal opionion) I would be more conserned about how my FH was feeling right about now then how many people were attending. Ultimately that day is about the two of you sharing in something special and no one else and it is important to make sure he is happy. I know if all my BMs backed out last minute and the majority of my family didn't want to come to my wedding I would feel terrible!

That sucks girl!

Talked to two of the groomsmen: one said he can't come because he is starting the police academy and the other said his wedding is in November so he can't come. He was engaged prior to being asked to be in the wedding.

I'm sorry to hear that OP. While I think those are valid reasons for not going, I think it's a total dick move to wait til the invites come and just RSVP 'no' without an explanation. They must have known for awhile that they weren't going to make it. They obviously did not want to face the situation like adults. I hope wedding karma bites the one ex-GM in the ass at his wedding. Anyway, onto the OOT guests not coming. I get that in comparison to your family driving 16 hours, it may seem like 5 hours is nothing, but it's still a long way to ask someone to travel. You cannot say "well my family is driving 16hrs they should be fine with 5hrs" it doesn't work that way. You cannot use your family's willingness as the gauge for what's "acceptable".

I would not fly to a wedding unless it was the wedding of immediate family or a best friend. 16 hours is ridiculous. THATS why people are backing out. Sorry OP. Thats life.

I didn't read all of the comments but I wanted to let you know that my FH's own sister 9her bf and two kids as well) declined our invite and his only family coming are his mom and dad. His dad, will only be making the ceremony so he says. Our of the 50 something people invited, most are my family and our mutual friends. He will be fine and you guys will have a great time no mater how many people show up.

Im smelling something fishy... you said you werent sure if FH asked the groomsmen but supposedly he did it in January. Now your saying you were there when he asked one and he showed you the texts for the other one... from January. You just sent the invites out yet all of them RSVP'd immediately. One GM excuse is his wedding, which he probably knew about before January. Now your saying his mom has also been one of the ones to RSVP no? Both of our families live across the country. My decline rate will be high, especially because were inviting a bunch of relatives who are older and probably wont be able to travel but we want them to feel included in the wedding. I think you have to expect a high decline rate. But yours sounds fishy all of the GM and BM have been told early and confirmed the date works for them.

Chin up. It had only been a week. Maybe you will get a bunch of acceptances next week.

I said in the original post that alot of his family called or texted after getting the invites last week to say they either couldn't make it or they would try to cone but weren't sure (mom, cousins, grandparents). Two of the groomsmen have sent RSVP cards back that declined to come to the wedding after knowing the date and location and still accepting the position. Mailed the invites Tuesday and by Thursday we were getting calls saying that people had received them and then if they were coming or not. Monday the first RSVP cards came back.

More food for those who RSVP'ed yes!

I agree on something fishy.

How close is your FH to these groomsmen? Did he have to ask a certain amount of guys to match up to your BM count? I really think there's something more to this.

My FH and I have 6 weddings this year and are both in two separate ones yet we're still successfully getting married ourselves in September. The distance for OOT is something you need to understand. We have 25 people that are 16 hours away and only 2 of them are coming. It sucks but you're wedding is only top priority for yourself and your FH.

You said 3 GM RSVP'd no. What is the third guy's excuse? The police academy guy is totally legitimate but should have given your FH a heads up instead of just RSVPing no. And the other guy? He can't even come to a wedding two months before his own? I don't get that. GM don't even do that much.

@rebecca, probably the cost of being a GM - I see that OP is letting them wear whatever they want as long as it is country, I suspect that he may not have the 'appropriate' attire and the travel expense for 16 hours can be astronomical. It also sounds like they aren't really that close. If that were me I would likely have declined a request to be a BM 2 months before my own.

We haven't been able to get ahold of the 3rd guy. He said he would call my fiancée back and never did.

Kind of a douche move to not saying anything and to just RSVP that they're not going. I'm sure they already decided that they weren't going when they agreed to be GM.

@ Nicola - It doesn't surprise me that her mom (or is it his mom?) isn't going. My mom couldn't even be bothered to go to my college graduation and that was a 20-30 minute drive. Some people just can't be bothered.