It seems like no one is coming to the wedding

Do the groomsmen have significant others who weren't invited? Are they close friends of FH? I'm trying really hard to understand this but it feels like a lot of pieces of the puzzle are being left out. Can you tell us more about your wedding?

This is the only wedding we have had. We did schedule another about a year ago but had to cancel due to money problems and we were moving to a different state. No invites were even sent out or save the dates. We alerted the wedding parties and family members that we would set another date when life calmed down a bit. That wedding planning never really got off the ground and all anyone knew was that we were going to get married.

Fiancée says it's because I picked a date that correspond with the start of wheat planting and that's why nobody is coming but my family farms and they are coming. They are coming the furthest at 16 hours. Everybody else is about 5-8 hours away. We are. We are not having an out of country wedding and no passports are needed.

I feel like the groomsmen MUST be joking. I mean, I'm assuming they were made aware of the date prior to your rescheduling it, correct?

We clearly indicated on the invites that guests were more than welcome to come and I addressed the invites to the groomsmen and their wives/finacees. The only thing that I can possibly think of is that my fiancée lied about contacting them when he supposedly did. But obviously nobody wants to start out a marriage thinking their guy is a liar.

But no, the RSVP's that's are a no are real.

I told him to call them and find out what's up yesterday but he said he was mad and wanted to wait until he calmed down to talk to them.

Yes, they were made aware of the date change.

How do you know? Call them. Seriously, that is the only way you will get this cleared up.

If you think your fiancé may have never even asked them to be groomsmen, then I have to ask...does he even care? Try to look on the bright side of all of this. Less guests equals less expenses. And you will get to have an intimate wedding celebration with the people who really cared enough to travel to be with you during that special moment.

Sorry this is happening. I would have FH call them and see what's going on. If he hasn't been communicating with them maybe they thought the wedding was off?

He was rather upset yesterday when those RSVP cards came back. He's mad they backed out. I know he asked them to be groomsmen because I was present when he asked one of them and he showed me the texts from the other two.

So we have established they KNEW they were in a wedding. What I do not understand is why they said they could not make it in July when the wedding is in September. Or why they did not say anyhing when they received the save the date- other than they acknowledged they got it.

Sorry hun, but 5-16 hours drive away I would consider an OOT wedding. If your guests can't make it there by car in 2 hours or less, you are going to see a significant increase in "no" responses. As for the GM thing, you need to get on that. Obviously there has been some miscommunication between your FH and his GM. Since they are close enough friends to be his GM, I assume you know them fairly well, or have at least met them, so you reaching out to them shouldn't be an issue. I am sorry that your RSVPs aren't starting off the way you would like, but you still have a little over a month for responses.

Bizarre.

For a change I agree with Emmy.

Stop.

Log off WW.

Call one of them. Politely and calmly.

Ask him what changed.

Repeat for groomsmen two and three.

The groomsmen aren't coming? That's crazy, did they know they were groomsmen?

Zelda Bride - Thank you for the RHPS reference! <3

My first thought would definitely be a bad joke that 3 of them happened to all make. I know my FH probably would have done that to his friend had I not filled out the RSVP card for us.

@Amy, it's my pleasure! RHPS was actually where FH and i met! :-D

Is five to sixteen hours too far away for immediate family to come because his mom is also pretty iffy about if she is coming to her son's wedding.

How can the GROOMSMEN RSVP no??

It is not HER responsibility to call the GM. These are her FH's friends and HE should call them. She has said that be needs some time to calm down as he was upset, and then he will call. I think that is a good idea. There is no reason to call people while angry. A couple of days is not going to make a difference when the wedding is still two months away.

I'm about 5 hours from most of my family, and expect that to mean that roughly half of my family will not attend the wedding (although we are not terribly close, just see each other about once a year). My FH's family is mostly local, but some are already making plans to travel to Arizona from Louisiana, which is a cross country trip. Some are worried that they won't be able to make it due to the heavy travel expenses (airfare - which is more expensive within 90 days of selected trip IME, lodging, lost income from missing work, meals during stay, childcare at the destination etc.).

I'm thinking that when family saw the location, they were unable to incur the expense on such a short notice. You mention that it is near planting time, and they may also be viewing the lost planting time as lost income. With the droughts right now, money being tight is really having an effect on everyone's plans.

I agree with previous commenters that you should reallocate some of the money you expected to spend on food and beverage costs to a great videographer who can make a video and DVDs for you to send to those who missed it.

As far as the GM - the only way you will find out is to ask. Ask them, ask FH. I hope I have this timeline right: January - asked to be GM & agreed, April - received STD, July - RSVP'd No. If that is the case - What a bunch of @$$hats. I'm at least glad to hear FH's bro is still standing up for him. They may have taken the informality of the event to mean it was unimportant (which is super lame).

I would definitely not be afraid to ask the guests who really should be there (siblings, BP/GM, parents, etc.) that RSVPd No why they arent coming. Maybe it's something you haven't considered?

<3