Is abstinence before the wedding day worth it

If you are a virgin then I could see it. But if not, that ship has sailed...

So you were sexually active before planning the wedding, or not at all? I don't think it's really fair to go from being sexually active with your spouse to cutting him off just for a honeymoon experience.

Nope - what's the point if you've been intimate already?

So were you intimate and then you just stopped in order to wait until after the wedding? Or you have never been intimate?

Why stop when you've already been intimate?

That's kind of stupid you ask me.

If I were your FH, I would avoid all those things too, because it's just a tease. Why get all hot and bothered if you can't have what you truly want?

I really don't see the point of this. I would be upset if I had to sleep next to FH every night and not touch him.

One of the whole foundations of a relationship/marriage is "craving intimacy" from your partner, so why would you put a stop to it?

Why did you just decide to "do the Christian thing" all of a sudden? I'm so confused.

Not being religious this sounds super strange to me.. but.. you've made it this far I guess? It's natural for him to "crave intimacy" so I guess him "admitting" to it as if it were taboo or an issue is confusing to me.

It sounds like you already been intimate with him? If yes I don't see the purpose of this personally.

Relationships are about compromise. I wouldn't want to make out with my SO either if I knew there was no chance of sex, TBH.

So if you want the closeness of touching/ kissing you have to compromise on the sex. If you are ok with no physical contact before the wedding (cuddling etc) then keep doing what you are doing.

Abstaining only works when both parties agree.

If you've been intimate before, then I would continue to do so. It's a really important way to stay physically connected to your partner. If not, and it means a lot to you to wait, then that's totally okay, too. But know that it won't boost the honeymoon experience. Your honeymoon should be amazing with or without being intimate, and whether it's the first time or the hundredth time.

Honestly, I doubt abstaining now will improve your honeymoon experience. Also, if you do choose to abstain, which is completely your right and decision, I can understand your FHs decision to also abstain from other forms of intimacy to avoid temptation/other desires.

I feel like this is one of those questions that you should discuss with your pastor and not with us.

I'm Catholic, and there's nothing in the Bible against premarital sex. It does prohibit adultery. Our priest honestly told us not to worry about it. But there's all kinds of different interpretations so you have to figure that out for yourself.

If you've already had sex, then what difference does it make? I'm genuinely curious. From a religious standpoint, does it matter?

Also, why is it an all or nothing thing? If you really want to avoid P in V for whatever reason, do oral. Hand jobs. Anal. Literally dozens of other things so that you can preserve the intimacy but still feel like you're achieving whatever it is you're out to achieve with this.

I'm a bitch if I don't get it in on the regular, plus we have already been together so for us it's pointless. I think it's a truly personal choice, if you are a virgin I could understand it. Also, when you told him you wanted to do this what did he say? Was he upset? It's a decision you should make together so one of you isn't miserable and it takes a bad toll on your relationship. Honeymoon's get a lot of build up and a lot of expectations and a lot of times people get let down because of it.

Yes, we have been initimate before...actually pretty frequently before. And his reason for admitting craving intimacy was part of him telling me he has an above average sex drive

Also, I would imagine making him wait until your wedding night means your wedding night is going to be over in like 2 minutes.. if you know what I'm trying to say..

Since you've been intimate before, I don't think abstaining is worth it AT ALL.

You mentioned it's the appropriate 'Christian' thing to do.

Honey that ship has sailed. You aren't a virgin again because you abstain right before your wedding.

Nobody can answer this for you. But I don't think it's worth it, no.

Not worth it. Please make your FH happy and go back to banging it out.

I agree with everyone else so far, if the case is that you've already been intimate before.

If not, then no, I don't think it's worth it. I don't mean to judge someone's religion, but I think it's absoluetely asinine to marry someone you never had sex with (multiple times for a long time) before. What if your libidos are completely different? This will only harbor resentment from one or both sides (one feeling too much pressure and the other not getting what they need sexually) and cause major issues in the marriage.

You can still be good in your religion while insuring you're marrying someone you're sexuality compatible with if it means preventing divorce (also against the same religion) in the future.

Honestly, if FH suddenly start refraining from sex after wed been having it regularly our whole relationship, I'd be pissy too. It's a good way to keep the connection alive. Sex isn't the most important part of a relationship, but it's definitely one of them.

If the roles were reversed and he'd cuddle and kiss you, but everytime you wanted to make love he shot you down, wouldn't you be feeling that way too?