invites-is it still 'not ok' to invite people without their spouses? kind of a touchy subject......

If they are married, engaged, or in a long term relationship, then not inviting the SO would be offensive, even if you had never met them.

I would not attend a wedding if only me or FH was invited. We are a couple, not two singles.

I think you pretty much have to suck it up and invite the spouse, even though you've never met them. It's pretty standard to regard married couples as a social "unit" so I think you'd run the risk of offending some people if you didn't include their spouse.

Yes, spouses should be invited.

You have to invite the spouse. If I were invited to a wedding and FH wasn't, I'd wouldn't go and I'd probably be offended.

Question: If they're not close enough to you to where you haven't even met their spouse, why are you inviting them to your wedding anyway?

Yeah that's still not okay. We invited all couples together. Pretty much if they were in a relationship at the time we addressed the invites we invited the bf/gf.

I think it will always not be okay to invite someone without their significant other.

You have a year and a half until your wedding -- you may not still be close with these people when the time comes. If you still are, either be sure you can accommodate them and their spouses or cut your guest list.

H and I may not always both be able to go, but we are both always invited.

Bucking the trend here - but I have no issue and everyone I know (relatives/friends/collegues) has no issue with it. But perhaps it is a British thing (we also don't tend to do +1)

I do have friends. I've been the collegues weddings and no partners have been invited we went as collegues, it was a good laugh.

But all the people I know would not be offended at all and for some people it would be expected completely.

(again i'm british so maybe it is a british thing)

Etiquette dictates that you invite the SO of your guest. You have quite awhile before invites go out - a casual "So, tell me about your husband/wife/finance/whatever" should get the info you need.

All these ladies will tell you that you have to invite them i guess im the oddball out.i dont think you should necessarily have to invite them especially if you aren't close to them or dont like them. personally we have a person our guest list and i told FH that there is absolutely no way i am inviting his fiancee. she dresses like a skank and cause problems.i am willing to take the risk that the invited person wont come.i think it all depends on your guests how will they react if you dont invite their spouse?are they people you are willing to not have at your wedding if they are offended?

If you aren't close to people or don't like people, you don't have to worry about their spouse because you shouldn't be inviting them.

If you're willing to offend someone by not inviting someone that is a significant part of their life, I think you should question what that person means to you and why you would bother to invite them.

@reenski i was talking about not being close to the S O not the person being invited.

If you're willing to offend someone by not inviting someone that is a significant part of their lives -- their fiance, wife, long term girlfriend -- then you should question what that person means to you.

Because if you do offend the person you care about by not inviting their SO, it's a slap to their face and you've likely lost the friendship because you couldn't deal with having their SO around for a few hours.

If that's worth it to you, if you're okay with possibly losing a friendship over it, then they didn't mean that much to begin with.

I wouldn't show up even to a family wedding if my FH isn't invited. Sorry you get me an my better half or not me at all...

Yes, you invite their spouse.

Though FH would probably like not having to go to a wedding lol I would be offended if be wasn't invited.

Es S. : I'm not British, but I've spent time in Europe here and again over the course of my life and was raised with a very European attitude for most things. I've found when it comes to many things etiquette I get surprised at how differently it was done in my family.

that and I live in a very large city now, millions of people, so many different cultures and ways of doing things.

most people where I now live often expect gatherings to be done in ways that they may find different.

the wedding is in my home town across the country, a lot of people invited live nearby. many may not be as open to doing things outside the box when it comes to the etiquette books. I figure when it comes to things like invites, there's a much bigger risk of upset vs if I serve cold dishes during dinner hour.

we've decided to take a little time before sending out our save the dates so there's a bit of time to decide where exactly we want to put a cap on the number of people we invite

to be continued.

Spouses should be invited. IMO it's a bit weird to expect someone to celebrate your relationship when you can't even respect theirs.

Definitely invite their spouses. No one is going to be offended by having their spouse invited, but you run the risk of offended these people by not inviting their spouse.

I think in america, it will always be not ok to not invite the s/o. it's offensive.

It sounds like you would be happy to invite the spouses, except that you don't know their names and are too embarrassed to ask? If your classmates are on facebook you can probably find out their spouses' names from there. You can also suggest getting the couples together for dinner or something so intros can happen naturally.

Honestly, I don't think it would be so bad to just ask your classmates for their spouses' names. Your classmates will probably be happy to be invited and won't mind reminding you who they're married to. I wouldn't worry about which relationships are "having trouble". If they're together, they should be invited together - if their problems are so bad that they can't go to an event together, that's up to them.