I know everyone thinks it's tacky but...

HAHA so is putting the card box on the sweetheart table, saves on a centerpiece.

Just do it. You're not looking for actual advice here. You want to be told your right so just do it even though its tacky and rude.

If you're worried about people stealing you can have a designated person, who will collect cards from the box throughout the night.

Also I've never been to a wedding where people bring boxed gifts, they always have cards. And I'm assuming all of those cards have cash or gift cards in them. So I don't know why (not saying you) but some people in general, worry that people won't give cash if they do a registry.

I did some research last night, registries were created in the 1920's and mna is right they were mostly used for the bridal shower. Then I looked up bridal showers and the history behind that is if the brides father didn't have enough of a dowry or didn't approve of the groom then the women in her life would throw a shower so she could begin her duty as a wife with enough stuff to do wifey things. Welp, considering that sexist background I now support the new honeymoon fund system thing even more. Just because it's etiquette doesn't mean it's right! Plus things change over time and I think this is changing.

I did some more sleuthing last night as well. Everyone I think you should definitely listen to @mna on everything because she has been "planning a wedding" since July 2012. *eye roll* I call bullshit. ~Laura~

In my experience, people write checks and usually don't give cash. If someone steals a bunch of checks in your name, they are not really getting anything.

If you are REALLY concerned, hire someone you can trust to watch the box or put it in your car.

If you prefer the honey fund then do that. I don't think it's rude. The proper etiquette is to not go around telling everyone you want money. It's up to your friends and family to tell people, when they ask where you are registered, that you have set up a HF account. I think it's rude for guests to demand you have an actual registry. My fiancé and I are asking for gift cards only because we are getting married in San Diego but are moving to LA immediately after the wedding. It would be too hard to transport a bunch of gifts that far.

So is ~Laura~ going to give back her engagement ring due to its sexist origins?

....is it too early in the day/weekend for me to start the treats and drinks for all these threads?

@flyingsoon it's 5 o clock somewhere...

I would never ever ever do a honey fund but honestly, I also don't give two shits if anybody else has one. I don't like them so I don't contribute to them. I think it's kinda weird that out of all the issues about rude wedding planning, a honeyfund is the thing that everybody repeatedly talks about even in posts that have nothing to with honey funds lol As for the issue of people stealing, we're having a locked box for ours. I don't think it's as easy as "well don't invite people who steal". When it comes to weddings family is family. Addiction problem or not, we still love them and they still deserve to be there

@Teal: I'm glad you call bullshit. Whatever would I have done without you?

We've been engaged since then (well, 2011 actually,) and had to repeatedly push back the wedding for various reasons: financial, personal, etc. I was around quite a bit and took a hiatus after we pushed it back the second time because of the stress of having a date that was uncertain was causing me. I returned several months ago.

So yes, I've been here awhile, and our wedding plans have been through many different iterations before we settled on the DW. If circumstances require it, we will push back yet again.

Incidentally, I DID also plan a previous wedding, so yes, I DO know what I'm talking about.

Thanks for letting me know that you thought enough of me to dig into my history though. Good to know for future reference.

ETA: How did I miss the "just because it's etiquette doesn't mean it's right" line? Yes, yes it does. That's the whole point of etiquette

Incidentally, OP, any time you start a sentence with "I know blah, blah, blah, BUT," it means, "I don't really mean a word of what I said before the but, I just want to seem less offensive/selfish/entitled/whatever..."

OP- I totally get your frustration with the responses from some. Some posts are definitely condescending and disrespectful, but it seems those users feel like you are just coming here to start conflict.

I know you can see why they would feel that way; it can be annoying when people post the same hot topics several times a day.

I also understand that you were coming at it from a different angle. But the principles, as the ladies mentioned, still apply. "It's tacky to ask people for money," even for the reasons you've mentioned. Some users have given you great advice on how to keep your cards secure.

I personally think Zola doesn't sound as tacky, but the added expense isn't worth it, imo. I would lean on the side of not.

Please don't feel like you need to apologize to anyone for starting this topic. You didn't feel like your specific needs were met through the other posts you read, so you're justified in starting your own thread. If people want to come in here and act snarky, ignore it.

You'll get good and helpful responses from others, and just allow the negative to be comical.

.

Funny that @Betterthistime would say all that lmao. Considering how her last post went down.

@Almost- glad I made you laugh so hard.

First Julieth and now Teal @mna we have our work cut out for us

Security is a big deal. I was heart set on a honeyfund for us, until I came on here and saw all the negative feedback. I'm on the fence, but I do think that the registry chosen should be up to the couple. If you don't want to contribute to the honeyfund, don't! Super easy idea to me. But then don't be surprised when you don't get a thank you card because your card was the one stolen. Everyone is capable of stealing, even employees and cops/security guards.

O&S- meh. If it makes you feel better to throw shade, I don't mind being the target.

"throw shade" ha ha ha.

ETA: I'm surprised you didn't white knight Bethany's posts today.