I know everyone thinks it's tacky but...

Personally (and I haven't done a TON of in-depth research, just preliminary stuff), I like Zola because it gives you the opportunity to register for traditional gifts like pots and pans as well as set up a fund for people to donate to.

Just curious on your thoughts! I’m sure most people will say there are other ways to secure the gifts. I’m personally torn on the issue, but can see why people may decide to let technology handle it and let all their guests enjoy themselves without having to “guard” the cards.

I'm not inviting anyone who I think would steal from FH and I.

No, many people are not "split" on this. The majority of people that will post on this thread think HF's are super tacky. Then you'll have 2-3 double ring avatars or "newbies" that will say "It's your day, you do you boo!!" and you'll agree with them, call us rud bishes from the witches lare and then saltiness will ensue. So enjoy the rest of your night!

#twa #rbc #WL

I wouldn't say honey funds are a split issue maybe 5% think they are okay. I guess you're taking a risk of someone stealing a card but you can be 100% sure that a honeyfund will take some of your money.

No one is "donating" to you. Your wedding is not a charitable organization.

If you have people like that attending the wedding or are that worried about crashers nothing is safe. Any purses, phones or items would be subject to theft. Place the card box in a secure location and let the staff know who is authorized to leave with it if your worried. This doesn't strike me as a reason to do a honeyfund.

Get a card box with a lock. Put it somewhere safe. Let the staff know no one is allowed to leave with it except X, Y and Z. Problem solved.

This is what a locking card box is for...

WW isn't split. Honeyfunds are rude. Asking for money is rude. It just is. Especially when a wedding is not, technically, a gift-giving occasion. Do people frequently do so? Sure. But registries are for showers, where actual, physical gifts are expected. Some guests use them for the wedding as well, but that is not what registries were originally created FOR.

1) Not inviting anyone to our wedding who would steal from us

2) Pretty sure the staff at our venue and/or guests would notice if a wedding crasher tried to walk off with the card box

3) There is no excuse for having a honeyfund

Not trying to argue, trying to start a meaningful discussion. Maybe it's just the posts I perused through, but there did seem to be some people who were open to it and others who weren't. I did be sure to say I noticed MOST seemed to be against.

As for not inviting anybody you can't trust. Yes, I like to think I can trust all my family, but I'm also realistic and know that sometimes people get desperate. Also, just a month or two ago there was a story in my local paper about a couple who lost ALL their wedding cards because some random person nobody knew walked in acting like they belonged and made off with them.

No one stole from my wedding.

@PandaBear, I went back and forth on that term, but used "donated" in the traditional definition of giving money. I apologize, I should have used "gifted."

I didn't personally think the idea was tacky. To me it seemed no different than asking for gifts on a normal registry (though I know not all agree with that). But I avoided those because of the fees and hassle of it. Just make sure you do your research before you sign up so you have all the info =]

Because I've posted this before I may get banned for it. Please. Thank you.

Why a Honeyfund is rude:

-you're asking people for money

-the website takes a percentage

-people can't afford a vacation so why should they pay for yours

-it's tacky

-poems don't make it cute

Asking for cash:

-it's tacky and rude

-guests know how to buy gifts

-just don't make a registry

-you can always upgrade something

-living together doesn't equate to not needing up upgrade

-why should someone give you cash

-if you're trying to save money by collecting others, reevaluate why your wedding is so expensive

-have the wedding you can afford.

-poems don't make it cute

Self catering

-botulism

-glitter covered slaves

-botulism

-potlucks are gross

-health risks

-stress

Dry/cash bar (only okay with AA or religion)

-not everyone is an alcoholic

-supply or beware of drunk drivers from bootleg

-thank your guests don't punish them

Friendors:

No one wants to work

They aren't qualified.

I don't understand why people make posts announcing that they know they're going to get flack for doing something if their minds are already made up to do it. If you want to do your thing, do it. Your guests won't say anything to your face and no one here will know, so you can be blissfully ignorant of people being offended behind your back. Posting about it here is just inviting people to give you opinions that you know you won't like.

ETA: But, since you asked, consider it this way. Most people on WW find honeyfunds offensive. Consider WW as a sample of potential wedding guests. What are the odds that NO ONE among your guests would be just as offended as people here by your asking for cash? Extremely slim. Why take that risk?

You need to get a new set of guests if that's your concern. Sounds ridiculous to use that as an excuse to register for a honeyfund.

Yes, advice to indicate you don't need boxed gifts is to have a very small registry, like 5-10 items. People will get the hint and you don't have to ask for donations like a charity.

Why are people so concerned about how much money and presents they're going to get?

People are really grasping for any shred of an argument to get their HF started. Smh. No one is going to walk out of your bridal shower with your new blender.

Not defending the honeyfund, but I do have someone I went to high school with that had someone crash the wedding, acted like they belonged and left with the entire card box. No one noticed because it was towards the end of the night and obviously alcohol, and that's when things slowly start getting cleared anyway. I've heard a similar story from my FMIL as well.

It's obviously something to have a legit reason to worry about, but not necessarily enough of one to just go with a honeyfund. My advice is just to make sure that there is someone keeping an eye on the card box, ideally a non-guest (like your DOC, because you wouldn't want to ruin a family member/friend's entire night by making them responsible for something that important). And putting it away from the door so it's a bit more noticeable when someone is walking all the way across the reception hall with it.

Oh my hell people. I never said I was GOING to do it. I said I looked into it. Have not decided what I am going to do. I'm trying to be respectful here and start a meaningful conversation. Some commenters have done that, others are just jumping down my throat.

Mostly I looked into it for convenience for my guests...everything in one place. Technology taking care of everything.

Due to some unique family circumstances on FH's side, not all family members are 100% trustworthy. There's a lot of poverty due to religious (cult) abuse. And some have made mistakes in the past in regards to stealing from family. Does that mean I'm going to punish them by not inviting them? No, it means I'm going to cut down temptation and keep an eye on things.