I know everyone thinks it's tacky but...

EW, I don't actually care what you do. I do care about the misinformation that you seem to love to provide. I'm making it clear for *other* posters. If after countless threads you don't get this, then I'm not going to try and help you anymore. I'm really only interested in providing the correct information to undo some of your erroneous advice.

She asked for opinion. I never claim to state facts. It's a wedding not a history lesson. Not everyone in the world is going to think it's rude and tacky. It's not incorrect information if it's an opinion. She said she was curious about our thoughts. Read it again. These are my thoughts. I don't see the issue.

I'm sure you don't.

I am having a honeyfund because people steal. Is that what I just read? Really?

This was my hometown. And a guy I went to school with. Lol.

http://www.newyorkupstate.com/news/2016/07/real-life_wedding_crashers_do_you_know_couple_suspected_of_stealing_at_utica_wed.html

I actually had an entire post about this. It's not a good excuse to be tacky.

You do not know what you guests will do until they do it. Cannot say with absolute certainty that no one will steal from you until they don't or until they do. You cannot tell the future and you don't 100 percent know people and how they work. That said you can ask for gifts that cost money not money lol. Wedding wire supports funds so it's safe to say it's split. Just like bringing a gift is optional so is funding a honeyfund. I mainly think ppl are against it bc they didn't do it or didn't have the family that could afford to gift or donate. Me personally, I didn't create one bc I know my ppl and I know that there will only be a select few that actually think to bring or send a gift and I'm fine with that. I also would not contribute to a fund but I wouldn't talk about the couple or call them tacky if they created one. I'd just find something else on their registry to purchase and enjoy and support them on their day.

You know, there's also a small chance that the bride and groom will get into a car accident, but most (if not all) leave in a car...

Just sayin'.

And I think asking for cash/honeyfunds are rude because I was raised old-school - you don't talk about money, you don't give money. Wedding presents are for setting up households. I come from a boxed gift area and got mostly boxed gifts. We did get a little cash, and you know what we spent it on? A new dishwasher - not a vacation. I would have felt horribly guilty spending wedding present money on a trip, but again, that's how I was raised.

Where I'm from it's the norm to give cash at weddings. Every wedding I have attended in the last 20 years has had a card box and virtually no physical gifts. Usually just before people are seated, someone from the venue (DOC, site coordinator, manager, etc) will lock it in an office until the end of the night, or someone in the family will remove all the cards and take them to a secure location. In the 25+ weddings I have attended in the last 20 years, I have never heard of money going missing.

This is why you designate one person you trust to take the card box and store it in a secure place. My sister and her husband will take our box to our hotel room and lock it in the safe. The hotel is next door to the reception venue.

How often do wedding crashers occur though, really?

I mean...wouldn't you notice if there was some random person there that you didn't know, who wasn't attached to someone you did know?

MRSFG: WTF does this mean: "I mainly think ppl are against it bc they didn't do it or didn't have the family that could afford to gift or donate."

People are against it because it is tacky AF. Period, end of story. We chose not to do one, and guess what: still got gifts and cash. (and I'm not going to be THAT GIRL and say how much because its rude, but trust me when I say, our guests "could afford to gift.") What a rude, awful, horrible assumption to make.

We had our DOC collect cards periodically and take them into the bridal house.

There was a wedding a few months before ours where that happened. We didn't want to take any chances.

I asked for money instead of presents. I have a house full of stuff and it would literally suck if I had to return everything or had things I didn't need or want. I personally don't care what everyone thinks. I gave the option of cash or just bring themselves, if they wanted to do a gift then go for it. That's what I said. It does feel tacky to me. However, I'm broke and don't care. Ha

You see the horror stories of people stealing from weddings. Which FYI, is usually people you don't know so the whole "Don't invite people who will steal from you" gimmick isn't necessary.

What we did was kept a lock on the card box, emptied it twice throughout the night and put it in our hotel safe. No problems. I wasn't concerned with my friends and family stealing from me, but since we were in a public hotel with lots of other guests (lots of high school kids were staying there after prom), I didn't want Joe Schmo from wherever trying to pull a fast one. It worked out fine and we didn't look like greedy cash grabbers to boot.

My cousin had a HF for her wedding and to be honest most guests seemed pretty happy with it. She had it set up for her shower along with a registry. She didn't push it obviously but she gave an explanation of her honeymoon. A lot of family members and other guests I talked to liked that they were contributing to something so special. They even have been encouraging me to set one up. You know your guests if you think they'll think it's tacky then skip it but if you don't think they will then don't.

MAKE SURE YOUR BOX DOESN'T OPEN UNLESS YOU DESTROY IT. Don't get the kind with a flap. We knew a couple who had all their cards stolen by the guy running the photo booth. SEALED BOX that's the way to go.

In regard to security, any venue serving alcohol is required to have a security guard posted.

Kira: "I'm broke and don't care. ha ha."

WOW.

I'm broke AF. Like...got screwed out of $1200 by former friends broke, but I care more about not offending my friends and family than I do about getting a little extra scratch.

You can try doing what we did to earn cash. We both agreed to provide services for local companies for around 40 hours a week in exchange for compensation. We then took that money from the services we provided and deposited in our savings account. Like every other adult who has a job and understands the concept of not asking guests to line their pockets with cash.

I think you are more likely to get purse snatched in a parking lot than robbed at your own wedding by your desperate guests.

Put a locked card box in visable and safe place and assign someone to check on it or empty it occassionally. Problem solved and you don't have to be tacky.

Honestly, your desperation to validate the choice of a honeyfund makes you sound like the person who would be tempted to walk off with someones gifts.