How Tacky Can U Get?????????

How old is your nephew?? I like casual weddings, but this seems too casual.... Are they wearing jeans and t shirts, too? I would either bring a gift OR food.. definitely wouldn't get both. If i had to supply party supplies for a party i was INVITED to, I wouldn't waste my time on a gift since i'm spending extra time preparing food. I know etiquette has gone down hill lately, but... wow. That's just over the borderline of rude.

Pot luck weddings are common in my family so I wouldn't have been surprised or upset. Its tacky to downright ask for money in the invitation so I understand that. As for the stamps, tacky or no, is something so small worth stressing over?

That is tacky - never in my life have I been asked to bring food my own drinks and demand to bring a gift ... I understand times are tough but wow... I would either bring a gift or food...how many people did they invite that you would have to make enough for everyone??

Breathe hun. It's not that big of a deal (I guess that bride and groom didn't get on WW, huh?)

Some people don't even do response cards at all, so maybe they figured people would call, text, email or RSVP on their website. No stamp is a little off, but nothing to get too upset over.

My reception is a potluck too. Nothing wrong with that. It's what my friends do and it works great. (Edit to add, the food IS the gift)

The alcohol thing is a little odd, but at least they told you you could bring your own if you wanted. Been to plenty of weddings where I found out AT the wedding it was a cash bar and I had no cash

Did they put the money request on the actual invitation? Ok, that one would have gotten me too. NEVER EVER put gift requests on the invite.

But, all said and done, it's not your wedding and just smile when you know you did things right for yours and their's will be remembered as the tacky one Good Luck!

+1 to what Jacki said. That's a bit over-the-top, I think.

I think the forums needed to be divided more obviously between regions, because this makes my blood boil. What you're nephew sent out is simply unacceptable. I grew up in NC and now live in NJ, I'm ashamed to say I'm old and have been to quite a few weddings, NONE of which have been potluck, non of which included gift requests in the invitation. I'm as floored as you are at the lack of tact from this couple. Age is not a factor, if you're old enough to get married, you should be old enough to know right from wrong.

My jaw just dropped so far it almost got stuck open! (I have a condition. lmaoo Seriously.) That is embarrassingly tacky.

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I'm not thrown off by the lack of stamp (how many posts have been about people not sending them back?), or by the potluck wedding (sometimes you're on a budget and if family/friends are willing to help, why not?)

If you can't afford alcohol, I'd rather you just state it's a dry wedding (I don't drink much, so it wouldn't matter to me and people would probably bring themselves a flask if they really want).

But to also mention what to give as gifts on top of asking you to bring food and drink... that's definitely in the realm of being rude and tacky.

I understand why you're so floored by this. It would have been a whole other thing if your sister (or brother) had asked if you could help out and make food (like any other family get together) but to require that ALL the guests do that? It's one thing if you're helping out family by making a lasagna, it's another to bring enough pasta salad to feed 100 people.

I'd send them travel brochures for Vegas, sounds like thats more in line with their budget...

So not only do they want you to bring food but are greedy enough to out right request cash... If potlucks were the norm for Sherry S.'s family I doubt she would be offended.

Thanks ladies. I'm not stressing out at all about this....just couldn't get OVER the amount of tackiness in this whole thing. btw, they are a young couple in their mid 20's (on my husband's side) who are getting married outdoors in a park with the reception in her mother's backyard. and I heard the bride's gown cost $1200. I have nothing whatsoever against this, but feel that if you can't provide food for your guests, rather than ask that they bring a dish, how about just have hors d'oerves? or even just cake? and yes, the request for cash was on the invite.

Omg that is crazy!!! maybe money is really tight with them and they are desperate?

I guess it doesn't seem like a big deal to me, but I can understand where you are coming from. I know the idea is to take care of your guests at a wedding, but it seems like your nephew and his FW are more interested in being able to have all the people they want there. It does seem optional to either bring booze or to bring food, so you can get away with not doing either of those things if you don't feel like it.

Perhaps they didn't think of hours d'oerves or just cake and punch reception?

When the dress costs more than the food they are providing, that is where there is a problem.

The dress should be a $99 dress from Davids if they are going to cut the budget on entertaining the guests.

Nothing wrong with a budget wedding, but EVERYTHING needs to be on a small budget.

I went to a wedding where there was hardly enough food to feed the guests and only one type of beer being served. if you wanted other alch you had to walk through the kitchen to the bar... they were not even of drinking age...which is fine, but the food was a bit like...wow and then wehn i found the bride spent $1,000 on her dress i said... "well theres dinner"

I agree with Fiona that some post should be for different regions as this would not fly in NY/NJ...I mean if money is tight thats one thing, there would be different options and ways around it but to right out say all that is rude, tacky and embarrassing

I'm with Reenski. The no stamp thing wouldn't have really bothered me based on the # of people who get on here and say they haven't gotten RSVPs back anyway. I might have even excused the pot luck thing if it's really that casual. Back yard receptions IMO can be pretty cas. It probably would have been classier to say the wedding is "dry" rather than tell people to bring alcohol. The fact that they straight out ask for cash is really tacky though. If that's what you want set up a honeyfund or have that info/request go out as a "word-of-mouth" sort of thing.

And I agree--if you're dropping major cash on your gown, you better keep that little figure to yourself, especially if you're cutting corners everywhere else.

Initially reading your post I was shocked! But then I thought of a few people and situations where I coudl see that happening. However that being said I would not expect it in the invitation. I could see speaking to a few people and askign for help and going from there. The gas and money is really bad.

Ohh man... I don't think some of this stuff on their own would be TOO bad, but the fact they have a potluck reception, bring your own alcohol, no stamps, AND gift requests combined is what makes this so unbelievable.

Well, Vanessa....this *is* NY we are talking about. Not NYC, but Upstate NY. Yes, money is tight, but if you are wearing tuxes and ballgowns for a park wedding, and asking your guests to bring FOOD and give CASH gifts, that is beyond tacky. Seems to me that even if money is tight, having just a little class is still free. and I would have much preferred to be asked privately to bring something, and would have been glad to oblige.