How Tacky Can U Get?????????

I just have this image of 100 people bringing macaroni salad! The stamp-an oversight. The potluck- should have been handled privately, that way you get a variety. I had a cousin who did this and it was actually really cool, because you got to taste a little of the new family's style too. The alcohol-once again, should have been handled privately, with certain people brining certain things. the potluck and the alcohol should be in lieu of a gift, not in addition. But the gift request on the invite-taaaaaacky. It is supposed to be word of mouth, or, in a pinch, on a separate card in a mailing.

Whoa the cash request was on the invite??? Big no no.

I am having a pot luck but I am only spent $200 on my dress and I am paying for all alcohol, cake, etc. But my guests are only 33. And we are all family and best friends. They wanted me to not break the bank. My friends recommended pot luck. I was like, "I can do that??" They said you are paying for everything else all alone, so yes.

This is interesting. It's not so much the individual things so much as the overall way they went about it. Makes you wonder if they had any guidance whatsoever when they were planning.

I can't believe they spent that much on their dress. Then again, if it is a regional thing(?), maybe they were told that it was acceptable to do the pot luck thing... but yes, this is kind of odd.

Very tacky. Very, very tacky.

As others have said, the stamp, okay, not a big deal.

But the rest of it? NO WAY! If one cannot afford the party they want, they pare down to the party they can afford.

If I received this invitation, I would send the card back with "Unable to attend" and NOT send any type of gift.

That makes a whole different meaning to wedding. That's not a wedding celebration, but an excuse to get money.

I would just get marry by court and wait until I CAN afford a honeymoon to have one.

Seriously, if they are asking for gas cards as a wedding gift they are hard up. Try some sympathy rather than getting offended. Yes, their approach was misguided, but don't take it as a personal insult.

Maybe they're hard up cuz they spent $1200 on a dress! We all know there are hundreds of beautiful dresses to be had for just a few hundred dollars.

I would definitely pass. In my opinion, it is always in bad taste to ask for money (especially for your honeymoon)

I can understand the shock. I think it would have been different had he called and gave you a heads up. Yes, tacky to send in a formal invitation.

It sounds like a potluck to me. ive been told to do the same with my wedding and thought it sounded tacky for a wedding, but to each her own. if i had been this bride, i would have spread the word about the food and alchol by mouth and included a seperate registry card that mentioned the gift ideas. it does seem a bit too casual for a wedding though.

Petty. Don't compare weddings. Do what you can and leave the others alone. Be happy that you can do better, but don't judge those of us who can't. We all do the best we can. :-)

Sherry S you really blasted the invitation, and I think for good reason. If the groom is just out of a 4 year jail sentence, and the invitation they sent sends up these red flags then it's for good reason. Gas cards and cash? Yeah that is something everyone on the planet CAN use but is that what you'd ask your guests at your wedding to give?

I am a really easy going person. If someone wanted me to bring a dish to a wedding I would, I would bring my own booze too, things can get quite expensive and I under stand that (based on my own wedding plans). At the end of the day, it is the choice of the bride and groom...and if you cannot deal with their plans, no matter how silly they might be, then just don't go.

Do I think the invite was odd? Yeah, it seemed like it. But you have to remember at the end of the day it's their wedding and they can do it how they choose to.

Wow. I can understand doing a potluck wedding, but if I did I would never actually send out to guests and ask for dishes to pass...I would MAYBE ask very close friends and family in person. I have received wedding invites with a little slip of paper of where their registries are at, to me it doesn't really upset me, but the way just saying cash on there to me is a little too much. I don't mind registry listings because I know where to shop and if there is no list I usually go with cash, so to me it was unnecessary to say cash at all.

@ sherry This is ridiculous!

I'm from Detroit, MI and have never heard of a pot luck wedding (not saying its wrong to have one). However, I've seen close family members pitch in and help cater and they were asked PRIVATELY to do so. Seems to me that if she can buy a 1200 dollar gown she can provide some food.

The stamp is forgivable, but the reason the bride and groom are expected to put a stamp on a reply card is so that guest who want to RSVP via reply card will not have to pay 25 cents to RSVP for your wedding.

Overall, it's tacky because guest have to pay to attend this wedding. Not only are they expected to buy food (or ingredients for food and cook a dish) to serve about 50 people, they are asked to provide drinks. Lets not forget the extra money gifts! Are they crazy?

How are they contributing to their own wedding besides showing up, saying their vows and looking fabulous?

And i hope they aren't expecting any out of town guest, because I would be horrified if I were expected to take time off from work, buy stamps in order to mail in the reply card, purchase a plane ticket, pay for accommodations, pay for transportation, bring a "money" or "gas" gift, stop at the grocery store or local fast food place to pick up a dish, stop at the liquor store to buy drinks and carry it into the backyard only to have a sauce stain on my formal attire! lol

@ Christine S. - so funny because if any out of town guests come, they are coming from Detroit! LOL. I am definitely going to the wedding....it's my husband's family, so we have to. plus my son is in it, and I gotta see this. I'll update ya'all on how it went. And if I talk to the groom's mom anytime soon, I'll let you know how that goes too. Thanks ladies for all your opinions.

I've been to a wedding like that but there was no formal invitation explicitly stating all of that. I agree that if you're having a low budget, park/backyard, pot luck wedding, it's fine! Just make sure the whole event reflects your budget. No $2500 gown and asking for gas cards. Wow.

This will surely be one of the longest-lived threads on WW. lol

There are plenty of people who have fun, memorable and appropriate weddings on very tight budgets. We embrace it and offer ideas and encouragement all the way.

However, this is not about having a tight budget. It's about the outrageous manner in which they chose to address their guests. It is disrespectful, unnecessary and rude. "Come to our wedding and bring food, booze and cash." That's what they said to their "guests." That is ridiculous!

Manners are free. You can't chalk this nightmare up to money problems.

Omg! Sherry that's hilarious. Yes, please update.

I had to re visit this threa. I agree all on the invite. Still blows my mind. My potluck is solely food for 33 people who are all super close to venue, and we all talked about it. It also isn't mandatory and I don't mind if that means no gift. I don't expect gifts. I just want to share my day. So yes, please tell us how this train wreck goes. Wow. Smh.