HOW DO YOU TELL A FATHER HE IS NOT WALKING YOU DOWN THE AISLE?

Could you please turn off the caps? When you type in caps it reads as shouting and makes it harder to make sense of what you're trying to say. Thanks.

Not a problem.

I can completely understand where you are coming from. I went through something similar with my own dad during my high school graduation. When my mom and he divorced when I was 12...he was pretty much non-existent and then my HS grad came and he wanted to be a part of it and I had to tell him that I didn't want him there because I didn't feel he contributed to it at all. It was a hard conversation and he didn't listen and showed up anyway and to be honest it put a huge damper on my grad day.

I say, if this is really how you feel...have the talk with your father..maybe you can give him something else to be a part of during the wedding? Like a toast (unless you think he may do an inappropriate toast) Also...I think the father normally does the blessing..maybe you can have him do that? Either way..it should be what YOU want on your big day!

Heather, if you figure this out please let me know. I am not close to my father at all and my mother will be walking me down the aisle. I still plan on inviting my father, but it will be his choice if he will be ok with being there and not walking me down the aisle. I think I will write him a letter to explain my thoughts and feelings.

Been there honey. The only way to handle this is to be truthful, but you will have to be very careful. Perhaps tell him that you would like to honor your grandfather for being there for you as you grew up. This doesn't so much point the finger at him for not as it explains why you want who you want. Yet it still makes the point loud and clear.

Agree with color.. you can only face the problem head on and tell the truth from the get go. Don't drag your feet or contemplate in a sense. You know your feelings if it comes up mention you have decided you would like someone else to give you away. He shouldn't really expect it I would hope. Good luck to you! Thanks for the cap locks removal as well :-)

I have a father and step-father and I'm not having either one walk me down the aisle. I just told them I'd rather walk alone and they both seemed to understand. If you two aren't close then he's aware of it too so it probably won't be a shock. Just say something like "Dad, you know I love you but we aren't that close and *insert name here* has always been there for me. I'd really like to have someone that I'm close to walk with me."

I'm sorry you have to do this. I know exactly how you feel. I have a Father and a step-dad, and my dad has never been around, didn't come to my HS grad nothing, I last saw him about 6 yrs ago, and he calls every 6 months or so when he's feeling guilty. But I literally just had this convo with him last night. It was over text, b/c he doesn't know how to use the phone apparently, ( so thats what our communication has come to about 2 times year). He had found out about my engagement through some family members, and he text me to ask if he could walk me down the aisle. It took me a long time to respond and I just asked him if he thought he deserved that honor, when I didn't get a response I wrote him back saying, I didn't think so, and Ron (my step dad) will be giving me away. I think it may sound kinda harsh but my dads a real A-hole. But the best of luck, just don't be afraid to say no.

I just wanted to thank you guys for your supports and encouragement. i did call to talk to him and lets just say he isn't my father anymore he flat out told me he isn't going to come to my wedding. so I told him that is his choice his regret and to never call me again. And do you know that funny part he did exactly what I knew he would do. Well now I am glad that is over with.

I'm sorry he reacted like that. At least you got it over with. I wish you the best, and I hope you have the best possible wedding and get what you want out of life.

I'm sorry that happened. I came across this post looking for advice myself on this topic. I'm 28 and I met my dad again about 4 years ago (since I was 7) and he rarely puts in effort. He recently suggested that my fiance and I get married at his church and he do the wedding. I just said, I'm not sure what we're going to do. I'm also not close at all with my stepdad. So with that being said, there is a couple that has always been there for us and for him before we were together and I plan to ask her husband to walk me down the aisle. It makes my stomach turn approaching this topic with my dad and I just want my fiance to be there when I tell him. I jokingly mentioned how it'd make a great Thanksgiving Day conversation, with all the family gathered around. Kidding...lol. I'm also not having a father/daughter dance. I just don't care to put on a show or fake through it. It is OUR day after all!

I am in the same boat. I lost my father to cancer last year and even though he was technically my step-dad, he raised me and I have only ever called him Dad. My bio-dad came back into my life a few years ago but he is a delusional, paranoid, drunk and I can't count on him to be sober for five seconds. He doesn't know I am engaged because he turned his phone off again.

I am going to ask my Godfather to walk me down the aisle and give me away but I don't know how to go about telling bio-dad. I get sick to my stomach when I think about it. He is the type that expects to get that honor despite doing nothing to warrant it. When my little sister was married it was our father who had that honor and bio-dad missed the wedding (because he "misread the invitation") and left in the middle of our father's toast because "he didn't want to listen to that family stealer and had nothing to good to say".

He is going to be invited to the wedding but I can't count on him to be civil or sober for anything else. I just don't know how to tell him without being cruel or hateful.

He actually behaved pretty well. He was sober for the wedding and stayed sober for the majority of the reception. He was also very civil to all of my guests, including my mother. And he showed up the next morning to help clean the venue.

My God-father walked me down the aisle. I ended up splitting my Daddy/Daughter dance between the two of them. With my God-father the song was "Here Comes The Sun" in honor of my late father's love for the Beatles. The one with the bio-dad was "Humble and Kind" because it was the only non-sappy thing I liked. And we only danced for one verse. It was super awkward but I am glad it was done. It was probably one of the things that kept him civil.