How did you choose your maid of honor or did you always know?

You don't have to choose a MOH at all =) I was having two but my daughter is no longer able to make the trip. My MOH is only responsible to show up. I chose the two women that I am closest to, my daughter and my FSIL...not because they are family but because they are the women that mean the world to me. If you don't want to choose and single someone out as being more important than any other, by all means, don't choose anyone =) You can just have a BP with multiple important people.

Well, there's no rule saying you have to have a Maid of Honor. I knew who my MOH was going to be since I was like three. My cousin is my best friend in the world and there's no way I could pick anyone but her. The only dilemma I had was whether or not to have two (my sister also), but my sister is a lot younger than me and I don't think she cares, I think she's just happy to be a bridesmaid.

Your FSIL sure has a whole lot of opinions... and they all seem wrong. First, you don't have to have a MOH. If you feel you shouldn't single out any of your girls for that role, then that's what you should do. I only had a maid of honor, I didn't have bridesmaids at all. She has been my best friend since we were 11, so that was a no-brainer.

Also, people have different expectations from a MOH. Some MOHs are very involved in the planning, others aren't. They usually plan a bachelorette party, and help the bride on the wedding day. But it's important to say explicitly what your expectations are, if you decide to have a MOH.

Anyway, don't let your FSIL pressure you into a decision.

My sister already knew that my best friend would end up being MOH no matter the situation. My MOH is working two jobs and has a 2 year old so she isn't there as much as she'd like to be. I go over wedding plans with her as much as I can when she has time. She helped with how tables would be setup, what kind of hair style I should have the day of, my outfit for my bridal shower, she's there when I need to vent about wedding things. She's helped me me some favors & decide what my favors are. I love & trust my best friend and wouldn't want anyone else up there standing next to me than her.

I have five amazing women I'm close to. Two are you could say my "bestest" friends. One lives in the same town as I do, the other, 3 hours away. The one in town loves me, but is NOT into party planning and weddings. The one 3 hours away is what I always call the feminine version of me. Initially I was thinking I'd have two maids of honor, but I went with the one 3 hours way. The one in town is very supportive, and told me she'd wear whatever I put her in (BIG deal since she hasn't worn a dress in years!).

You are not REQUIRED to have a MOH, so if you don't want one, tell you FSIL so and remain firm.

I didn't always know who my MOH would be, but once I got engaged it was a no-brainer for me. She is my cousin that I lost contact with like 20 years ago and we recently found each other again a few years ago. I knew she would be a great choice because I knew she would be able to make the wedding (it's in the Caribbean), she is very supportive of me regardless so I can always talk to her about anything and her husband was kind enough to accept the role as my FI's best man. We will just have the two of them stand up for us.

I agree that there is no requirement to even have a MOH so you can just have all your girls as your bridesmaids and your FSIL needs to back down a bit. She's being too pushy and I'd probably have to let her know (in a nice way) if I were you.

I chose my sister and I always knew it would be her. But them FH couldn't decide who to make his BM so now I'm having two MOHs.

I had a feeling it would be between my sister and my best friend. As much as I love my sister, she also got engaged recently and I knew she would be super busy planning her own wedding. So, I went with my best friend who just happens to be a guy.

When I talked to my sister and explained that she would be the only bridesmaid and that my best friend would be my "Man of Honor", she understood and appreciated that she would still be a part of my special day.

I always knew it would be my best friend as my Maid of Honour. We've known each other since we were 13 years old, so that was a no-brainier.

As others have said, you definitely don't need to have a maid of honour. But if you can't decide between say 2 girls, you could make them co-maid of honours. A friend of mine did that for his best men. He couldn't decide between the 2 guys, so he made them both his best men. Worked out fine.

I chose my best friend, but then she stopped talking to me since I didn't want to do the wedding her way. So I am going with my older sister, I should have chose her first anyway but didn't know how she would feel doing it since she is in her mid 40's.

Thank you everyone for sharing with me. I truly appreciate your input.

I chose my MOH because she has helped me and my husband through some difficult times. She is my husbands coworker and my husband is buddies with her boyfriend so he is his Best Man!

If you love them equally you don't need one. But if you want a shower or bachlorette normally the MOH is the main planner in that and has the final say in things as well as may bare more of the brunt of the cost of those events.

So you pick the person who wants to plan those things, and if they all want to then ask them to co-ordinate and just have a bunch of bms

Mine is my friend that I've known since I was 5. It was a no-brainer. But my SIL is my matron of honor, because she is super close to me/super supportive/and a great helper!

I honestly don't expect much from anybody (I also have a control problem) BUT they both have been super helpful with everything !

I was prepared to not have one this time because my sister was my MOH at my practice wedding. I didn't think she'd want to spend the money again, and she's been married for 8 years. She's just in a different place.

However, she was pretty excited when I asked her. Now that's taking one for the team LOL

I picked my sister but if I didn't have a sister I would of picked my best friend. We have known each other for 20 years and no matter what she's always been there for me. My sister actually lives in florida and I'm not expecting her to help with the planning, thats what my FH is here for. I don't really know what moh's are supposed to do other than show up and help me with the back of my dress, my guess is nothing lol

I chose my best friend from college. We live about 7 hours away from each other, but we still talk every single day. I couldn't imagine having anyone but her. If I had never met her, I prob wouldn't be having a MOH at all. I don't think there's anything wrong with not having one.

In elementary school my cousin (who used to be my best friend) and I made a pact saying when we got married one day we would be each others maid of honors. I wanted to stick to this. So I tried. We had gotten into a huge fight in Nov/Dec 2011. I got engaged in February 2012. We still weren't speaking. We finally started speaking in April and I told her I was engaged and I still wanted her to be my Maid of Honor. Well in July we got into another huge fight. Before the fight she didn't really care about anything going on in my life (wedding planning, FMIL passing away etc) so when we got in the fight I told her I didn't even want her at my wedding. She has always had a tendency to try to ruin things for me. So at the time of this fight I had became very close to FH's best friend's wife. And I asked her to be my maid of honor because she was already helping me out so much. She is amazing and I am so glad I picked her because she is so involved with helping me plan this wedding!

I couldn't choose so I didn't. All my girls are in a position of honor, in my opinion.

My mother told me I should choose my SIL as my maid of honor, but we butt heads too much, no matter how much I love her.

I chose my closest girlfriend because, she never had to be there for me, but she was. When my father died, she was there, taking care of my mother and I like we were family. When her BIL passed away, I was there with them, and even helped bring his ashes to the memorial.

I just knew, we've been through thick and thin together, and I could not have asked for a better candidate.