How can I move past disappointing proposal, engagement ring, and wedding?

Why do we tell little girls that the whole process of getting married is important? It isn't. The importance of a wedding is that it is the start of your married life. If your married life is good, then how you got there doesn't matter. If the things that bothered you about the engagement are still there (his ignoring your likes and dislikes, not listening to you, etc.) are still there, then marriage counseling is in order. If the marriage is fine but you are still obsessing about how it started, individual counseling is in order.

You sound like a hot mess. I think you should go to professional counseling.

My husband doesn't know how disappointed I am with it because I'm trying to spare his feelings. Real jerk huh

Here's why I think this is a troll... She was pregnant but mad about no alcohol....

@Britti posted the link from the wedding bee post OP made last year. So she's still talking about this a year later I'm confused. Troll right?

@Kylie you said earlier you told him you didn't like the ring. That was obviously the best he could afford.

If not a troll. Get over it already.

Get over the fact it didn't happen how you wanted it to. And just accept the fact the man you love loves YOU enough to even purpose in the first place? Who cares if the ring is used or even fake for that matter.

I don't understand why you couldn't have just told him you wanted to take your time planning.

@kylie you are human and its only right to feel the way you are feeling! Yes, he can be the man of your dream and still feel this way!! Let's face reality ladies, you do not want a ring your enemy use to have! I know it he would've gotten it from a pawn you would be happy!!! Let's be clear for the ladies putting it all on you, He could've clean the ring since he was thinking about just making you happy! Know you did go with the planing and getting married so you have to blame yourself but we all have been in a situation because we love someone so much we go alone with theirs plans to make them happy and lose ourself! Let's be honest

I told him I was upset the ring. He later had it cleaned. Haven't discussed since.

Husband doesn't know I'm disappointed about wedding. I don't want to make him feel bad WHICH IS WHY I'M ASKING FOR ADVICE ON GETTING OVER THE DISAPPOINTMENT. I don't bring it up with him.

And for the alcohol, I didn't drink cause I was pregnant, obviously. That's why there wasn't alcohol.

Do you not accept some blame in picking out the first dress and shoes that fit, not taking the time to figure out what you wanted hair and makeup wise (which is really just 5 minutes on pinterest at least)?

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@OP then why was that in your list of things you're disappointed about? I mean.. Really. I don't get married while pregnant and then bitch that there was no alcohol because IIIIII decided no alcohol because I'm selfish and pregnant. Just because I can't drink doesn't mean others couldn't. Why did you rush in to getting married? You could've waited until after the birth of your child. I mean, come on. A lot of this is your fault unless someone held a gun to your head and made you choose a date so close to your engagement. I mean, did that happen? You could've picked the date I'm sure. You're story doesn't add up and you're part of a problem in America where people take NO RESPONSIBILITY for their decisions and then whine and whine about it.

Ummn you just do.... You realize the proposal, wedding, and yes even the ring mean NOTHING. Its the marriage that counts.... My ring is from a pawn shop, is it used?? Absolutely but I love it. My proposal was at a park by a gross pond LAYING down no speach no i love you nothing just will you marry me. Was i disappointed?? Sure... However it doesn't matter now. I wouldn't have it any other way. Its our story and something to laugh at.

Wait a minute...... You didn't plan a wedding in two months. You got engaged on Christmas and married in October. Thats 10 months....

If this isn't indeed troll...

You'll want to seek professional help, someone who can make you come to terms with your choices. Because, honestly, that's what you have to do.

You chose to accept that ring.

You chose your dress.

You chose to have your salon pick your hair and make-up (I doubt you really had no time).

You chose to get shoes at Target.

You chose to have a wedding in a park, or chose to let your husband take care of it.

You chose that photographer/method of pictures.

You chose your decorations, or chose to not get the ones you wanted.

This might sound harsh, but I have no sympathy because I can't relate. You made those choices.

I'm sorry you didn't get a Cinderella proposal and wedding. But a lot of us didn't get that either.

My proposal wasn't all that grand either. The only thing your DH could've done better was cleaned the ring. As far as used , I see no harm , it was probably all he could afford and it least it wasn't used for one of HIS exes !! I actually know someone that proposed to a girl , she said no...and he used the same ring to propose to his now ex-wife. So at least that wasn't the case for you.

As far as your wedding , well yeah it was your decision to rush things. And the "wrong bouquet color"? I envisioned more blue in my bouquet ..which didn't really happen because of change of bm dress colors. I still Loved How my bouquet came out ..ESP since my florist added the purple I wanted. Sometimes florists have to use a slightly different color because of season ...so get over it .all of it.

HE wanted a rush wedding but where was your voice is saying no, I want a little longer to plan. Maybe you should stop being so upset about what wrong and be more focused on your married he right guy. Yeah maybe he didn't have enough money to buy you a new ring. But guess what he did what he could! He wanted to show commitment to you and that he wanted to marry you. The best way to get over the disappointment is to stop looking at how wrong everything went and stop being such a downer. Think about the positive of it. You're married to someone you love and have 2 children together. In the grand scheme of things does the wedding day actually matter? You chose to go along with what he wanted instead of speaking up. Have a vow renewal in a few years and have the wedding you envisioned.

Follow the best advice on here--get counseling. You need to talk to a neutral professional who can help you to work through these feelings. If you don't, you will drag this resentment through all the years of your marriage and everybody will be miserable.

Also, when he wanted to rush everything, you should have opened your mouth and said no. You could have explained that you were sick and wanted to wait till after the baby's birth to have a wedding. Sounds like you meekly went along with everything. So even though this isn't what you want to hear, you bear some responsibility for your unhappiness.