How can I move past disappointing proposal, engagement ring, and wedding?

This stuff is all in the past. YOU helped plan your shitty wedding, so you can't be mad at him for that. He offered a solution regarding the ring, and you are still bitching about the past. What you do is get over it, stop whining, and move on to make better decisions and communicate better with him.

How do you get past it?

You stop whining and start working on your marriage.

If your husband said that he would buy you a different ring in 5 years, that simply means he could not afford to buy you another one at the time. He just wanted to give you everything he could. After reading that post from you, I think you are being hurtful to your husband. I'm sorry you didn't have the best wedding experience but like I said, he tried to give you everything. You make the decision to plan a wedding in two months so you did set yourself up for that one. And weather can't be controlled so a back up plan is always good to have, which is sounds like you didn't have one. I think you need to put yourself in your husbands shoes. You are being a little too materialistic rather than looking at the big picture of what you have right in front of you.

It's not about the wedding it's about the marriage. That's the most important part. If your unhappy, I suggest counseling. It's helpful to talk to a professional about it

I'm sorry you are so sad.

I think you need to take blame here. You didn't have to rush the wedding if you didn't feel you had the time to spend planning, or the money. There's no deadline for when you have to get married after engagement.

Also, I agree with the other women, you seem to have a pretty bad attitude about the whole thing in general. Self-fulfilled prophecies may be at work here. Take a step back and rethink your perspective. Are you married to the man you're absolutely crazy in love with? Do you have the rest of your lives to strengthen your bond and have the sex you're so upset about not happening within your perfect timeline? Do you have someone that loves you even when you let your bad attitude taint everything else? These are the important things.

Imagine how upset your husband may feel too. Most men don't like the idea of disappointing the person they love and maybe he gave you all he could. He may have been embarrassed that he couldn't afford a better ring. And you repeatedly reminded him of how he failed. He probably wishes he could have swept you away for a beautiful wedding and settled on a local park because he couldn't wait to marry you any longer. Try to see the positives. And don't hold over his head what went wrong when he probably tried the best with what he had to work with.

Yes, I helped plan my shitty wedding while first trimester pregnant and suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum.

So none of you ladies would be upset that you didn't love your dress? That your bouquet was supposed to be orange, but it was red? That the wedding pictures turned out bad?

And HE wanted to rush the wedding.

So you're going to let a "poorly planned" proposal and a bad wedding day define your marriage?

I think I would either A; chalk it up to hasty decision making or B: plan a vow renewal.

Pity, party of one?

My FH proposed to me two days before Christmas and I was in the midst of wrapping gifts and preparing for the holiday. I was rushing around like a crazy person, I had no makeup on and in my sweats. He got down on one knee and said "Will you marry me?"

You don't get to pick how he proposes, so I don't think it's fair to be disappointed by it. You should be happy and thrilled to marry the love of your life. I think you need a tall glass of get-over-it.

I would be upset but at the end of the you have each other and that's what matters

Sure, it's upsetting. But you get over it and enjoy your marriage. You seem very materialistic... I'm sorry that your wedding wasn't what you hoped, but like pp said...you didn't HAVE to have your wedding in two months. You could have put it off.

I feel like you set yourself up for the disappointing wedding thing. What was the rush when you already had one child together? I don't understand why you felt you had to sacrifice the wedding you want because you HAD to get married in under 2 months. The important thing is you're married. Everything else shouldn't matter. My FH's dad proposed to his mom in a pickup truck at 19 years old, she laughs about it, but they've shared over 32 years of marriage. My grandmother doesn't even have a diamond because she married my papaw at 19 with a cheap gold band and have been married well over 50 years. Does she care about her ring? Nope! She's married and has 2 beautiful children and her 4 grand children are the apple of her eye. Your priorities sound way out of wack and you sound ungrateful.

Also, I'm *NOT* holding this over his head. I came online to vent. I don't rehash this with him.

Just accept that there are no fairy tales and enjoy your husband, marriage and children.

Let's face reality here, you guys had an 18mo old at the time and you were pregnant with your second child. There are ways to delay pregnancy in order to achieve your "dream wedding", but clearly that wasn't even an option for you guys.

You also had the option to not plan a wedding in such a short time - I mean really, what's the rush? You have a kid together already, doesn't seem like one of those situations where you're pressured into getting married because of a child. I'm actually really confused as to why you put most of the blame on him and why you feel it's a reflection of your marriage...

You can always do a vow renewal/second wedding in the future. Rings are also replaceable.

First of all. I think this is a troll. But in the event it isn't have you mentioned it? And talked to him?

And ultimately I'd look back and laugh at how ridiculous it is and plan a five or ten year vow event and plan the party you want.

But based on you attitude here it sounds a lot like you'd just be salty at that too. You sound bitter. I feel sorry for you.

Http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/used-unpolished-ring-for-christmas-present-and-engagement-ring/

I think I agree with the ladies you asked before. I know you said you don't want to "hold it over" your husbands head, but this is something you two need to talk about. If you don't, you'll just continue to be bitter when you think about your engagement & wedding day. The way to move onto happiness is to communicate with your husband.

I'm curious how you would feel about the e-ring if you didn't know where it came from?

Not sure what you want from an online forum. But two words are all I have to offer:

Couples counseling