How can I move past disappointing proposal, engagement ring, and wedding?

This is word for word from a short story....

The sentence FH said before he got down on one knee was, "Kate, do I really have to do this?"

So... yeah, proposals aren't always like the movies. I was WAYYY too excited to even think that it wasn't the cutest question in the world (which, TBH, I actually think it was really cute. and funny. and so him)

Really, you are LETTING your self dwell. Also, it was your fault for choosing stuff you hate. I had a friend plan a wedding in 2 months. It was BEAUTIFUL.

I'M NOT A TROLL. And what short story is this "word for word" from?

I asked for advice on moving past disappointment, not what you think I should have done or what I did wrong. Guess reading isn't required here.

I was going to continue, but since so many of you attacked my children, I'm done. My kids were NOT accidents. Even if they were, how rude and hateful.

Can anyone else read what Dawn posted?

^I don't ever read anything that uses commas for periods? Is that what that is?

And Ky (Imma call you Ky),

it is taken word for word out of a post from a year ago on Wedding Bee. Either you are incredibly good at retelling a story, perfectly, word for word... or... you are fibbing. Your choice.

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A wedding day is never perfect. A bride can spend endless and time and endless money trying but something always isn't right, but what is perfect is the man that is up there waiting for you. Your life can end up fantastic and those small moments are just that a short time in a life time with your husband. If you love your husband all the tiny details shouldn't matter so much as long as he is the one you are marrying. Plus if your wedding day isn't the best it isn't uncommon to have a vow renewal and do it all over again! Save your money up. Go to Jarred's together you can build your own perfect engagement ring together. Get s therapist and get these feelings out in the open you can actually deal with the underlying issues. Then get a babysitter for a night and a hotel room to spend some alone time with your husband without the kids. Tell your husband how much you love him but you feel like you missed out and you want to start fresh with him and have a special day for the memories. Plan a day for you both to enjoy and share that day with your friends and family and wear the hottest wedding dress you can find.

Poor Kylie. There is nothing wrong with being disappointed about how the proposal went or how your wedding turned out. Of course the most important thing is that you love your H but come on... We have all had those type of petty feelings at one time or another. It is okay to feel disappointed about that OP.

The problem is that you went along with everything and never expressed your feelings to your H. You need to talk it out with him. Tell him that you feel disappointed and you can't move past it until you address it. Even if it hurts his feelings you can't go on harboring resentment towards him about it. That's not fair to either of you. Also, it has now been eight months. Your pity party can only last so long.

I think the majority of the ladies on here are being incredibly unsympathetic. Aren't there like, 3 days of the week where people here start a thread to bitch about some aspect of wedding planning/wedding things/random things in general? Shit goes wrong, we're allowed to get upset about it.

I think it sucks that you had an idea of how your wedding was going to be and you were pushed to rush into something where it feels like everything went wrong. Since time machines don't exist (yet) my only advice would be to constantly remind yourself that it was just one day. Much in the same way that Valentine's Day is a fucking racket made up to get people to spend money on tacky gifts, weddings are these things that you're told, as a little girl, are going to be the be all end all of your life. They're just cool parties. And I get it, you had a shitty party. But you can always renew your vows (maybe in 5 years? a nice roundish number and plenty of time for you to squirrel away the budget you need for the dream you want).

i'll let you in on something. I hated my engagement ring. FH and I had talked about it it, a lot, and I'd sent him pictures of the delicate art deco 1920's inspired bands I was in love with. I said "no matter, what, I don't want that quintessential e-ring, that circle with a big ass rock on it. I HATE those!". Guess what I saw when he pulled out the ring (no box) out of his pocket as we sat on damp grass watching 4th of july fireworks? A ring with a big rock on it. But it was black. and modern. and while it took me literally months to like it, i never told him how i felt cause i know he fretted over the decision. I was able to get over it and i do love this ring (now) even though I still don't think I would have chosen it for myself. But if a year later you're not able to get over the disappointments of that wedding day, you do need to talk to him about it. It's not about the money, the dress, etc.etc. but the vision you had. I don't want to be a pretty pretty princess on my wedding day but I do have a vision of how I want to look, how i want everything to "be". And I'll be honest that despite the solace of knowing I'm marrying a great man, i will still be disappointed if that vision doesn't come true. There's nothing wrong with that. You just have to work through it so it doesn't stay a constant reminder in the back of your head.

I think it would bother me a lot if my fiancé gave me the right hand ring of a girl I didn’t like especially since it wasn’t even important enough to be her engagement ring. I would tell your fiancé, get rid of that ring, and buy a new one you guys pick out together. As for the wedding...what’s done is done. You can plan a vow renewal with close friends.

A wedding is not important. The marriage is important. You don’t need “the perfect ring,” or the perfect proposal or the perfect day. It’s just a day of many in your life. Yes, I loved my wedding- but it’s just one day. Are you upset that it seems like your husband didn’t put effort in to cleaning the ring or picking it out? So if this continues to be an issue in your marriage- I think you should go to counseling. Because the ring doesn’t matter, the proposal doesn’t matter, the wedding doesn’t matter. But if these continue to upset you, it will lead to at the very least an unhappy marriage and at the worst divorce. You’re living and the past when marriage is about the present and the future and happy memories. But if the wedding is not a happy memory because of circumstances which you didn’t have to do- you’re really missing the point of marriage.

That’s hard. He may have been trying to give you better Christmas memories but that’s really not something someone can do. The holidays generally suck for people who have lost family members (that’s why I hate Christmas) and it’s not fun. I hope you can talk to him about it eventually, and maybe find a way to do something special that works for you. Good luck!