How can I move past disappointing proposal, engagement ring, and wedding?

Wow you sound pretty angry. Have you ever talked about how you feel?

Life isn't perfect. Things don't always go as planned. You deal, and move on. In the long run you're married to the man you love and want to be with forever.

I think your priorities are out of order. Do you love him? If so, that should be enough.

I'm really hoping this gets continued in the comments... I want to hear why the wedding was disappointing too

Since you dislike Christmas so much maybe he was trying to change it a little for you by making it a happy time with a good memory? Have you talked to him about it?

Waiting for the remainder of the story....

Um...maybe he was trying to make a great new memory of Christmas for you. Have you thought about that?

If you love him, it shouldn't matter how and where he proposed. You're married to the man you love... That should be enough. If you really can't get past it, talk to your husband about it. Maybe you guys can talk about a new ring? Also what pp said... Maybe he was trying to make Christmas better for you.

I would talk to him about it and see. You can always get a ring cleaned!

Continued:

We were getting literally no where with wedding planning. I got pregnant with our second and we planned a wedding in two months. It was awful. I felt sick and exhausted and unhappy. I got a cheap off-the-rack dress from a department store. I picked the first dress that fit that didn't look like a Greek costume. I had no time to pick hair and makeup, so I let the salon pick it. We got married outdoors in a park. It was a nasty rainy day. Husband only reserved area for 1 hour, so picture were SUPER rushed. All the pictures are dark and ugly. I was freezing and didn't feel pretty, so my smiles were fake. Our 2 year old wouldn't smile in any pics. I got the first pair of shoes that fit at Target. My bouquet was THE WRONG COLOR. I wasn't able to get any decorations that I wanted. The restaurant's "printer broke" so they gave our guests the NORMAL menu with prices. There was no music, dancing, or alcohol. It was a morning ceremony and lunch reception. It was stressful and disappointing. No honeymoon, no time alone, no sex for a few days after. Nothing changed except we spent $2k on a horror show.

How can I move past all this SUPER disappointment? I never even got to try on a real wedding dress.

I'm not sure that you are going to find the answer you are looking for here. He proposed...that can be stressful on a guy esp if he feels as though the whole situation is being scrutinized. It isn't about how he did it...it's why he did it. Sit down and talk with him about the reason you dislike the ring...guys aren't mind readers you need to let him in on your thoughts. And the sex portion...it's not a priority...it's nice if it happens but not everything that glitters is gold.

You get what you give and it sounds like neither of you are putting too much effort into anything.

Best wishes Kylie.

Kylie, you seem very unhappy in general. Do you have any good memories from the engagement and wedding that you can share? There's really not much advice anyone here can give you when we don't know anything about you except all these complaints.

I seriously don't mean to be a hag, but if this is the worst thing you gave to contend with in your adult life you're miles ahead of a lot of us. Yeah it's a bummer, but the marriage is the big thing here.

You could always do a vow renewal to give you a better memories but at the end of the day you married the man you love the rest is irrelevant and not as important

And talk to him about your feelings

I wish I were a troll. And I did talk to him about it. He got defensive and said "let's get rid of it and maybe in 5 years I can buy you the PERFECT ring."

I made it clear that I was upset that it's a friend's old right hand ring that was dirty and scratched up. Had nothing to do with size.

Is it just the proposal and wedding you are dissatisfied with? If you are still harboring things from that time it certainly sets the tone for your marriage.

Sorry but you set yourself up for stress and a less than ideal wedding by planning it in 2 months. What was the rush? Yes you were pregnant but you already had one child together so why the rush?

I should add that some brides in here have planned their weddings in a very short timeframe and had beautiful weddings.

If you wanted the dress experience, dancing and alcohol, and gorgeous pictures then again I ask ... What was the rush ??

You just need to move on. One day, you will look back on this and laugh. If this is real, I feel bad that happened to you. But at the same time, all that matters is that you married the love of your life (I hope) and you have two beautiful children. That's something in itself to be incredibly thankful for and happy about. That's what life is all about. Your wedding day is not the most important day of your life. One day, you can plan a vow renewal and take the time to plan it and find a dress and make it the "wedding" that you wanted. For the ring, maybe that's all your FH could afford? It's the thought that counts. He proposed to you. He loves you. Maybe he wanted Christmas to be a good memory for you, instead of a bad one. Especially because you have children. Christmas should not be made out to be depressing for your children. As far as the sex, that's something you need to talk to your FH about. Be on the same page. Maybe couples counseling will be the best for you two. Just to be able to talk things out. Seriously, it really has some great benefits. FH and I have a 17 month old. We did couples counseling for a bit and it was great that we did. I wish you luck! Just look at the positives and realize all of the good you have in your life. Many people would kill to have any sort of engagement ring, be married to the love of their life, and have two amazing children.