Hotel rooms for bridal party?

Why do they need a room? Do they live far away from the reception venue? I think they can either go home or pay for the room themselves. But this is something you should discuss, very soon. I would not expect my room to be paid for. If I were to agree to be in the wedding party I would know I was paying for expenses myself.

I agree. I would not expect my room to be paid for either.

We are paying for the rooms for two nights in Vermont for our adult children and their spouses, my parents and our DJ(friend)and his wife. It is a thank you!

We have 14 people in our wedding party (only 2 live where we are getting married) and there is no way we are footing the bill. I've talked to most of the BM and GM and they are sharing rooms. Some 4 to a room, some 2 to a room. If you want to let them know that it is their responsibility without coming out and just asking, send a little email out asking them to make sure they book their hotel rooms. Include the number of the hotel and the price so they know what they are looking at paying.

No no, that's too much! All of my BMs are in my hometown..but the night before I am staying in a hotel just so I can have that to get ready in, and i may get a big enough room so they can stay in there with me and my sister if they felt like it..

I only have one MOH and am covering her (and her son's) flight and accomodations. She is unemployed right now so I know she would not be able to come otherwise.

Yes, they all live in different states than where we are getting married. In fact we won't even live in that state when we get married. We have made it to where they do not have to shell out much money at all for the wedding. Just not sure what everyone else was doing?

Tricia's suggestion on how to let them know is a good and tactful way of doing it.

Our wedding party is on their own for the wedding night. The night before the wedding the guys are staying with FH at our place and I am paying for my bridesmaids to stay at the hotel with me. The reason I am paying is because I want them to be there to hang out with me the night before, and also so I don't have to worry about everyone showing up on time in the morning. (A few of my BM are always late for everything they do.) Most of my side lives within 45 minutes and probably wouldn't stay at the hotel otherwise. But we are sharing rooms. I have 4 bms and we are sharing two rooms.

The only people we are paying for a room for on our wedding night (besides ourselves) is my MOH and her husband. She is giving up her house for the weekend to put up some of my family from out of town. So the least we can do is cover their room.

I guess we are still debating internally about this between my FH & I, but our venue is far away from where the bridal party is.

This is a job for them (business trip) & no matter what people can say about it being an honor for them to be in my wedding, the fact of the matter is they are helping out & we should be providing some bare essential to get them to the church on time.

Seriously, if I have been part of 2 wedding parties, & if I had my druthers I would have rather attended as a gift baring guest & not have to work.

When I was a BM for my friend, I never expected her to pay for a hotel room. FH (he was boyfriend at the time) and I just stayed with my cousin, since she lived near there.

I'd be talking to them about considering sharing rooms to share the expenses.

But if you are getting married out of state, they have alot of extra expenses- mainly travel. Add in a gift, shower/party expenses- that's alot of money going out of their pocket in a crappy economy.

Meghan- I agree that it is a lot, but at the same time, I made sure they are aware that they are going to be paying for this themselves way ahead of time, and my feelings would not have been hurt if theta stepped down because of it (although, had that happened I am sure I would have done something to make them be able to come) I would rather them get me no gifts and just be there for me

For most of them they only have to travel maybe three hours. I doubt they will get us a gift (I don't expect one) and there aren't any showers. They only thing they have to pay for is the tux/dress and travel. We are giving them thank you presents, meals and I bought the bm their jewelry. They all have jobs. I have personally bought plane tickets, hotels, and many gifts for their weddings.

Hoping to see what you guys were doing as well!

Everyone's wedding is different but I disagree that someone would say that using the economy is an excuse or personalizing their own finances to gross generalize.

No - not having available cash is a reality.

Having to expense or credit card things personally out of some sense loyalty, friendship, honor, etc for a wedding is just plain guilt mongering.

Seriously, they should just refuse to participate, if they can't meet your requirements. No party or celebration is worth 20% on a credit card nor should you guilt them into it.

Four ours, when we negotiated the rate, we reserved the rooms, but the email that I sent out to my attendants was, "due to Labor Day weekend being the hotels busiest time, a room is being held for you. If you will need and or want the room, you will need to call the hotel at ### and give them your credit card number. We have secured a discount rate of $$$. "

hope that helps

I put on my wedding website all the local hotels and stuff and sent an email out for them to reserve asap. I think it was a slight hint that I'm not made of money so figure it out. We are also allotting room at our ranch for people to bring campers or t

Im actually paying for hotel the night before the wedding, the night of is still up in the air. But you should probable let them know so they are not expecting arrangements to already be made.

I agree with Singing Diva.... if it is something you really really want then you will save a little each month and cut back other things to make it happen. And if you are so strapped that even that is not possible, then you should graciously decline the invite to be in the wedding party. It is an expensive role but people know that going into it.

For that matter even just attending weddings as a regular guest can be expensive. One of my good friends from grad school got married a few months ago. I was not in his wedding party but FS and I attended as regular guests. Between gas for a 7.5 hr (each way) drive, 2 nights in a hotel, partying after the rehearsal dinner, shower present, wedding present, etc. FS and I spent close to $1,000 on their wedding.

I have been in several weddings and I always paid for my room. My BP paid for their own rooms. The only way I would pay for a room is if you want them to stay with you in YOUR room the night before. You were planning on staying in it already so why not just foot the bill for that and if they choose to stay a second night it is on them.

I just went through this situation with my friend and it's become a disaster. We are from Oregon and she held her wedding in Colorado. We agreed to be maids before the location was announced so it was a big of a sting to find out we'll be paying for airfare and hotel on top of other expenses. In addition, the BMs took on way more duties than is typically asked of them (in my experience as a 6 time BM) by doing her hair and makeup, hair for other BMs and Junior BMs, DIYing headpieces for bridal party (8 total), and DIYing reception decor.

Because of the destination wedding and extra time/money/effort we put into this wedding (not to mention the engagement party, two bachelorette parties, and bridal shower we paid for) it's my opinion the bride should pay for lodging.

If you're having a wedding outside of your home state and where your bridal party has to fly and pay for a rental car - the least you can do is pay for their lodging. If it's in state then they can split the lodging amongst themselves.