"Honeymoon jar"

I think it's tacky..they are most likely already giving you a monetary gift. It would be smart to do a honeymoon registry if you would like money for your honeymoon.

NO ANGELINA! That would not be smart and is the same freaking thing.

If you want a HM save for one and go, if not get over yourself. No one is entitled to one.

I already asked O&S! Hes on the right ... VMs theory stands.

I wouldn't. People will give cash if they want to. I've read that reactions to these types of things is that people feel hounded over and over again to give money.

From what ive seen most people here will tell you its "tacky" but personally I say do it if you want to.

Reality is, your wedding day should be spent with people you are very close to but has some how morphed into "my best friends future husbands second cousins sister is invited because my mom shops as the same sears she does" -- thus the endless supply of invites.

Not everyone has money for a honeymoon and your family and close friends-- the people you are inviting and paying a great deal so they can enjoy your wedding day-- should have no problem with the idea of being give the OPTION to give you a DOLLAR towards your honeymoon.

Its not tacky. Its a small gesture. Ive seen this at many many weddings. Begging for money? That's something to be put off by but simply putting a jar with a little note isn't tacky.

Sorry if that seems like I blew up a little but the amount of times people on here use the word tacky drives me insane. Seems like unless your willing to pay for your wedding yourself, pay for the entire honeymoon, pay for only top notch stuff, and make sure your guests are treated like royalty... You're considered tacky.

Its your wedding. Its your reception. Your money, guests, and decision. Do what makes you happy.

"Its your wedding. Its your reception. Your money, guests, and decision. Do what makes you happy."

Treating your guests like they aren't an ATM machine is what should make you happy.

If you thinking putting out a jar that can and most likely will be easily over looked is anything like treating them like an atm you have a screw loose.

Again. Begging. Asking up front. No. I don't agree with that. But having it be an option isn't rude. Its saying-- hey. I just put down (on average) at least 70 bucks for you to enjoy yourself for the next five hours or so with dinner, cake, booze and dancing-- wanna throw in a buck?

This person clearly could use the help and while that isn't the case for maybe you or I, they do. Its stupid to say something small couldn't be useful at their wedding without being rude.

We aren't talking about a pizza party here. Were talking about a wedding that usually runs almost ten grand for most people. Get a grip.

No one is making anyone pay for a large wedding/reception. If you can't afford it, don't do it and don't ask you guests to throw in.

But to the OP. This is what I meant by they'll tell you its tacky along with a list of other stuff that cant think of off the top of my head. If you're planning a DIY wedding or something along those lines id consider finding a forum that suits your wedding needs because ive been on this one a few weeks and its upsetting to see how many women in your situation get shot down by the people here.

Either way good luck to you and I hope you figure it out and enjoy your day

@FuturemrsJ YES weddings can be expensive. But its each person's choice how much they want to spend on hosting their guests. It doesn't mean guests should chip in "a buck" or help cover wedding costs or whatever. Usually, people "pay you back" in what you spent with the gift you receive.

I won't go screaming at anyone and calling them tacky, but I went up to the gift table and put my card in the box with $100 inside and then saw a jar beside it asking for more money.. I'd be pretty taken aback!

I definitely understand what you meant @kristy, however not everyone has family and friends who have money to put in a card for a gift. Ive had friends who get a ton back in card money, ive also seen them receive nothing because guests aren't expected to give a gift and none of theirs seem to. Then there's guests who will give you something small like a picture frame for photos or just a card. While I personally don't think it matters if they give or not, some people are put in the position where they feel pressured to have the wedding but don't have the funds to do both and because a honeymoon is something for only the couple, people forget its a special part of coming together and its over looked.

But to see people throwing a word like tacky around isn't fair. Helping someone based on your opinion of what shouldn't be done is one thing, attacking them with little more than that word isn't helping anyone-- and help is what were all looking for, in some way, when we came here.

Here's the best way to do this without looking tacky:

Buy a jar.

Put it somewhere in your bedroom or bathroom with a sign that says "Honeymoon Fund."

Put in money every day, whether its a dollar or loose change until the wedding day.

On your wedding day...LEAVE IT AT HOME and let your guests enjoy the day without a big sign in their faces.

Seriously, your guests will probably bring you cash in a card. Asking for money at the reception is just tacky.

Your wedding isn't till October of 2017, you have PLENTY of time to save up your OWN money for a honeymoon.

I feel like sometimes people really misunderstand the term DIY. DIY is DO IT YOURSELF. Not DO IT WITH MONETARY REQUESTS FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY. A DIY wedding should be done *yourself.* Yourself =/= begging for cash.

This forum is very DIY-friendly, and very budget-friendly. What it is not, however, is tacky. Asking for money from friends and family is tacky. The end.

If you have to do a cute poem to make it less offensive it's a bad idea.

@FuturemrsJ That was such a nice way to put it! I truly appreciate that you are looking a this from a viewpoint of kindness (and also using kind words). I do completely get what you're saying. But I guess....if people couldn't afford to give a gift (or choose not to) they would probably feel awkward about seeing the Honeymoon collection as well. I don't know..

I guess we have seen too many examples of this where it can be considered "tacky". (Ie. a Gofundme page asking strangers to provide for their honeymoon). If couples can afford extravagant weddings and/or honeymoons... great. But not everyone can. In that case why not have a simple wedding? I think they're lovely. Honeymoons don't always have to be flashy and exotic... .even a cute little bed&breakfast in the next town would be romantic. I guess some people do get greedy and think of how else they can benefit from their marriage.... and then it kind of ruins it for people, like you said, that just need a little help.

"Its saying-- hey. I just put down (on average) at least 70 bucks for you to enjoy yourself for the next five hours or so with dinner, cake, booze and dancing-- wanna throw in a buck?"

If thinking what you just described is a terrible way to treat your guests means I have a screw loose, then that is perfectly fine with me. And, in many instances, those guests have already thrown in more than a few bucks in the card they've probably brought with them. I don't understand why it's okay to start hinting that you'd like more.

Weddings do not have to run ten grand. They don't have to cost more than a license and what it takes to make it official down at the courthouse. Spending any more than that is a choice, and guests shouldn't be expected to fund that choice.

Just have a dollar dance.

I hope everyone getting so upset has a Xanax prescription. The weddings I've been to normally just have a container that has money, cards, gift cards, etc in it with a cute saying like "Cards & Cash" off to the side. It's usually on the same table where people place gifts. I honesty see NO issue with that?? But I guess that's just me.

@shelby, this is about an additional jar for that. A card box is fine, but a jar next to it asking for more is, ummm, slightly uncouth.

I'm not having a big wedding. My budget is about 5k, and I certainly wouldn't dream of having a honeymoon fund jar at my reception. I don't expect a ton of gifts, but I might get a few. The whole scenario about asking people to throw in a buck for their $70 plate and booze and all night party is pretty crappy. You invited them to a party. You invited them, you pay. They shouldn't feel like they need to put money in a jar when they see it. Especially if they did bring a gift. And if they didn't, I don't think it's a good "option". Maybe they can't afford a gift. And if you can't comfortably afford $70 per person, you should rethink your budget, head count, or wedding style to make it more affordable.