Head Table-What if the wedding party has a spouse?

Our BP will be sitting with their families. We have opted to sit at a table with our parents.

Hi guys!

So my FH and I will have our own sweetheart table on a riser and my bridal party with their SO's will be sitting at a square table in front of us. Reason for the square is so everyone can talk to each other easier.

I am clearly going to hell but we had a head table for us & BP only. It really was fine bc the SOs of all girls who brought dates knew each other, my sister's BF sat with our cousins (he wanted to meet) and the groomsmen all grew up together and the SOs knew each other. It wasn't a big deal in any way, shape, or form. Just be cognizant when doing your seating chart if that's the direction you want to go.

Trisha and Maltese, same here. I've never seen anything but a head table at weddings, and our BP is like "Um, [spouse name] is a big boy, he can sit apart from me for an hour!" They expect to be separated from their SOs for a large portion of the day, and they're okay with that.

We considered a sweetheart table, but I'd feel "on display." Actually, when I say we "considered it," I mean I suggested it to FH as a possibility and he said "Hell no."

@Maltese -- eh, like I said. Agree to disagree. I think it's rude. You don't. Fair enough.

It is just SO not done that way in my area, which is maybe part of the difference of opinion.. I'd be really shocked to attend a wedding as a BM or a guest in which I was sat apart from my SO.

We are doing the Kings table for that reason. Instead of the traditional head table, we will have three long tables. One for our bridal party and their SOs with us. And then 1 for FH's parents and aunts and uncles, and 1 for my parents and aunts and uncles.

The current plan is that they will sit in a U around the dance floor, and then everyone else will be seated at round tables, there will be people on each side of these tables, and a spot will be left empty in front of me and FH so that people can take pictures with us (my mothers demand).

I have always felt awkward sitting at traditional head tables, and FH was against a sweetheart table because he likes to socialize alot.

A follow up cause a lot got written while I was writting.

I don't think it is rude to ask them to sit apart from their SOs but as someone who has gone to a destination wedding with FH where he was in the bridal party and I knew no one but the bridal party and was seated far away from the front because they didn't know me, it does stink. It is up to you what you want to do, but it is more considerate to your bridal party and their SOs if you think about including them. I think it is less of a big deal if all of the spouses know each other.

We're doing long, family style tables so our "head" table will have 11 per side, bridal party and significant others. I don't think there is a 100% correct answer for this question, just be sure to try to seat the bridal party's dates with people they would know or would like.

I've been to a handful of weddings where my fiancé was in the bridal party and most of the time I was seated with people I got along with just fine but at one of the weddings I was seated at a table of cousins who all already knew each other and it was kind of awkward. Plus the wedding planner almost tackled my fiancé when he tried to walk me to my seat or visit before the bridal party was introduced...and he was introduced as a couple with the maid of honor and expected to dance with her and the whole thing got kind of weird. But luckily there was alcohol and the groom's cousin's girlfriend was super cool so we did just fine.

We're doing a King's table for us, the bridal party and their spouses.

I was really dead set against having SO sit apart from BP, and I still don't love it. I think it will depend on if my single bridesmaids bring a date that don't know anyone else. Also, idk that my BIL's wife would get along with our BP, so if that's the case I will sit SO with other friends and family.

We did a head table with GMs on the side of my DH and my girls on my side. 3 people total had S/O's at the wedding that sat separately. My sisters bf sat with friends he knew, my BIL's wife sat with family members and her kids (RB& FG) and our other GMs gf sat with people from NJ (back home for her) that she knew. Honestly, I think that it should be the bride and grooms choice for what they want and to be considerate of who they sit them with, We were considerate and frankly, its 1 flipping hour of their time that they aren't with their S/O. suck it up. Ours had no problem with it.

Double post

I have a question for all the people who are against "separating" the bridal party from their spouses. What about the ceremony and the pictures. Once you get to the reception the dinner portion is generally the last bit of time they will be separated. Kinda agree with Consuela. After that no one is really sitting at their table. As many weddings as Ive done, Ive really only seen a handful of couples not use some variation of a head table.

Because of this I think I'm going to do a sweetheart table and sit the BP with their spouses at another table so the spouses don't feel awkward. I attended a wedding with my FH last year where I hardly knew anyone and he had to sit at the head table and I had to sit elsewhere. It was uncomfortable for me because I'm shy and don't do small talk well.

@Willie....they probably insist on being in the photos too!

I have never, ever seen the bridal party sit with their SO's at the reception dinner. 90-some weddings and I have never seen it. I didn't even know it was a thing to have them sit together, let alone that it's rude to sit them apart....huh. Interesting.

@Willie I don't understand your question. What about the ceremony and pictures? Obviously there are many, many parts of a wedding that your SO is not a part of when you're in the wedding party, including ceremony, pictures, cocktail hour, etc... I just don't think dinner should be one of those times.

I really wanted to do a head table as well, but this came up as my sister is married and she's my matron of honor and her daughter will be our flower girl, so we would obviously want them to sit together. At some of the venues I thought we could do a KING's Table, and I really really want it, but our venue doesn't have space for that. But just google King's Table Wedding and you'll get the idea, it's pretty awesome I think, you and your FH sit at the head of the table and your party with their SO's sit at the table on the sides.

I've seen both and been a part of both. I don't think there's a blanket rule that one is better than the other, but make it fit to your circumstances and be considerate of all your guests. We're having a sweetheart table because my MOH/sister is married with kids and the BM is married with a baby. His wife won't know anyone else there so it seemed rude to me to stick her at a table where she doesn't know anybody. I went as a date of a GM one time in a wedding and was very grateful we didn't have to eat dinner apart, even though I did know people there, because dinner lasted a while. The last wedding I went to had the SOs separate and IMO it's kind of awkward.

@Maltese, are you this rude in real life to people that disagree with you? Don't get so defensive about the choices you make for YOUR wedding.