Head Table-What if the wedding party has a spouse?

I had rounds, but did a rectangular table for the head bridal party. So I, DH, both MOH and both best man sat on one side. There was no one in front of DH and me. Then their SO sat opposite them with their backs to the dance floor. One of his brother's girlfriends was not able to make it, so we had his favorite cousin and one of the other GM fill that spot. The other bridesmaids and GMs sat at rounds off to the side.

I had a large bridal party: 2 MOH, 4 bridesmaids, 2 best man, 5 GMs, 1 flower girl, and a ring bearer.

@MrsPope - On point as usual. I heart you so much...

#teammaltese

That is all.

Oh... I apparently had a modified King's Table. You learn something new everyday.

I would accept sitting apart and I know my girls would have, but I threw a wedding for my friends and family, so their comfort was the most important to me. Some of the SO's, his brother's girlfriend, one of my MOH's boyfriend were from out of town. So I made it work for them.

@Jenny 20 mins or over an hour he'd be fine. You know we go to work alone for a WHOLE 8 hours no tears shed.

I'm an introvert, so unless I knew the people at my table, I wouldn't want to sit w/out my FH at the dinner if he was in the party. But if I knew the people, then I wouldn't care as much. Although it would be nice to sit with FH to talk about the day and the wedding so far.

But I also don't see the point of a head table. You've been w/ your wedding party all day, why do you need to sit next to them at dinner? And if you do want to sit with them, why can't their spouses/dates join? The head table is one wedding tradition I just don't get.

@Mrs K

@Maltese FTW!

@MrsK You I love your face)

We had the same issue. We were going to let their spouses sit at the table, but then we just decided to do away with the head table, and just do a sweetheart table.

Lol... we will probably do a traditional head table and plop the BP s/o with people they know. I have sat alone while FH was in a wedding, and he will sit alone this weekend. We are adults. I don't need him to cut my meat or anything.

But it's super amusing to read this post.. Maltese and Jenny snarking each other surrounded by people still talking about tables.

Our head table is for us and the BP only. I've never been to a wedding that included the spouses. I've been to one where it was a sweetheart table and the BP sat at different tables with spouses. Every person in my BP is either married or in a serious relationship. But the spouses are all familiar with our families, friends and each other so I don't think there will be an issue of discomfort. From my experience the bridal party usually is done first and making speeches and up talking with guests before the guests are even done anyway so they won't be apart for that long.

@Myers

LMAO! @Maltese

I think the lesson here is damned if you do, damned if you don't. Seating assignments is one of those areas where someone will complain. It's inevitable. Just make your decision and move on.

I had a sweetheart table because 1) my son was in the bridal party and I needed an "out of sight, out of mind" moment regarding telling him "sit up straight, eat your food. stop playing with the napkin". So I stuck him with his grandmother.

2) I spent ALL DAY with my girls. I don't typically like conversation while I eat. Besides, we only had about....ten minutes to attempt to scarf down our food anyway. So in the end, it didn't even matter who sat with us.

3) Would I care if my husband was sat away from me at an event. If there was booze? Probably not. Please don't do this when the entire wedding is dry though. I'm kidding. Kinda.

I still just.. really don't understand. It has nothing to do with not being able to function without your SO.. or needing them to "cut my meat." FH and I work shiftwork and frequently go a week or more on opposite shifts. It doesn't even bother us anymore.

It just doesn't make sense to me that you would not sit with your date.. at dinner. What's the point of a date, then?

Weddings should be what the bride and groom want them to be, obviously. I think it's okay that I don't like the idea of the wedding party being that exclusive at dinner.

edit because; today is not my day for grammar!

What is the point of the head table other than putting the BP on display? The set up is generally not conducive to socializing, so that's not really an argument.

Just do whatever you want or makes your BP happy. At the end of the day no one is going to remember the seating chart.

@Elyse, I do complete agree about the negative socializing aspect of one long table with people only sitting on one side....thats why we decided to do a captains table.

Had to google that one Maltese, but I like it better than the traditional (what I consider 80s style) head table.

I didn't read all of the comments, but yikes I didn't realize this was such a huge deal.

FH and I are having a sweetheart table. Not for this reason, but it happens to work out well in this regard. However, I'm one of those people who can be shoved into a group of people I've never met before and make friends so I don't understand why it's a big issue to eat separate from SO for a few minutes.

I'm wondering if this isn't the reason sweetheart tables are currently very much in vogue. I think it looks great, and it does allow the bridal party members to sit with their escorts while still being very close to the couple (they're usually in the tables right up front). I remember when Head Tables were the only way that it was done, and I never saw a single individual sitting at those tables who wasn't wearing a matching gown or tux (and honestly, I don't think I've decorated a Head Table since 2012 -- they're all Sweetheart Tables now).

Is it a nice gesture to allow the bridal party's escorts to be seated at the head table? Sure it is. After all, by the time dinner is served, the escorts/spouses have already attended a cocktail hour without their other halves. I guess they could tag along and stand in the background while the formal photos are taken, but who really wants to do that? Is it a requirement that you reunite the couples so that they can have dinner together? That sounds like a personal decision every bride makes for herself. But in the meantime, there is a solution. Long live the Sweetheart Table, an idea whose time has come, and its bursting onto the scene, bigger cousin, the King's Table.