Gift Table at Ceremony?

I'd only put a table at the reception for gifts.

I kind of look at the gift as something in exchange for the meal and entertainment at the reception. If people who are only invited to the ceremony do bring a gift, hopefully there's a room you can stash it, but I would not set a table out. To me that just screams tacky.

If someone brings a gift and doesn't know where to put it, they'll probably approach you directly after the ceremony or maybe ask a family member they know to make sure you get it.

I wouldn't. For the same reasons as the other ladies said. I would be worried it would look like even though I didn't feel they were important enough to invite to the reception I expected a gift from them, as well as because it could cause confusion since those going to the reception might think they were supposed to leave their gift at the ceremony as well.

Thanks for your input. That's exactly what I was looking for!

Yep. We've been very clear that we can't afford to feed everyone or fit everyone who might want to come to the wedding in our reception venue. I have only had minimal angst about it and mostly just questions which end up very understanding. Most people are just excited about the ceremony and seeing us actually get married.

This is fascinating to me.

I was a bridesmaid for a girl who did something similar. She had a cake/punch reception after her 10am wedding. Then, family, close friends and BP were invited to the 'real' reception. Let me just say, that was a LONG day.

She was thinking no one would find out, but a friend who was staying with me wasn't invited to the second one, so people like her did find out. I think they should have left it at cake/punch, and be done. But to all their own I guess.

Good luck! And I'm glad your guests understand.

Lol what is fascinating JMedd? Yea I've never heard of being invited to the ceremony and not reception but I woulnd't put out a table, if they bring something theyll find a way to get it to you so no worries. That way if ppl dont bring things they wont feel weird too

I would feel really bad if I didn't get invited to both but being though that is not what your post is about, I am on the flip side. If people KNOW they aren't invited to the reception I assume they will bring a gift to the church so having somewhere for those people to put things might be a good idea. I would have a host or hostess maybe anyone passing out programs? If they see someone with a gift possibly direct them to a room off to the side. I dunno just playing devils advocate here. Good luck.

I guess I should explain some stuff.

We are paying for our own wedding. Both sets of parents are chipping in some money, but the bulk of it is being paid for by us.

The FH and I both belong to different churches and are very active in them. We have so many people who we are connected to that it would disappoint them to not be involved in at least one part of the wedding. We restricted the reception guest list to 250!! About 3/5th of those are family, leaving not that many slots for friends and others who have been influential in our lives.

We sent invitations by mail mostly only to those people also invited to the reception. Those invited to the reception got a separate card with details in the invitation. We realized that we would have to be very specific about things so it would be clear what was going on. RSVP online is only to those invited to the reception.

Most of the people invited to the ceremony only will just get their invitation as a bulletin insert at the church.

(cont'd)

I've been keeping a blog (http://xapatotheworld.wordpress.com) detailing the journey each week to the wedding, and I've said multiple times how much we want to have everyone at the reception, but just can't manage it. The compromise is that the ceremony is open so that we can at least get to see everyone on that day. I don't know if this set-up has been done at my church before, but I have personally been to weddings like this myself. It was the best solution to the problem we had. Everyone has been so gracious about it, knowing that we are doing the best we can. It helps that there aren't many egos involved, too.

Hopefully this helps y'all who might want to know more details. Thanks for all your input on my initial question!

I'm just blessed with some wonderful people.

I'd just be really sure that all of your guests understand what the deal is. Yes, people invited to the reception got the card, but... people not invited to the reception have no way of knowing there was a card they didn't get. (Hopefully that makes sense).

A girl I knew in college did this; invited a bunch of people to the ceremony who were not invited to the reception. I was one who only got a ceremony invite--but I didn't realize that. It didn't explicitly say anything about a reception but the idea would just never have occured to me. As it turned out, I didn't go to the wedding, but if I had, I would have been pretty annoyed when I got to the reception and realized I wasn't supposed to be there (and yes, this apparently happened to quite a few people).

Just a word of caution. As to your original post, I'd skip the gift table at the ceremony.

Lol Lynzey! How you write all that without sarcasm I'm not sure...

@Sarah R. - Its ok sounds like you have a full house already, most ppl will understand, besides, you cant worry about every single person!

Lol i have 2 cats and i love how ppl post funny cat pics! Hilarious

@Laura Nicole

I forgot to mention, we put in the invitation that a "Private Reception" would follow. That seemed the most delicate way to put it. We might have some people show up that we didn't mean to, but the full invited guest list never fully shows up. We'll have a buffer for any surprises. We are not going to mention anything about the reception at the ceremony either.

You should set up a gift table (along with your "card" box) at your reception. As far as the ceremony, I wouldn't worry - your guests will give them to a family member they know or to one of your bridal party members.

Having a separate guest list for ceremony and reception is totally normal.

I wouldn't put the separate table for gifts though.

Sounds like the reception is going to be a great dance party!