FH has anxiety to the point of vomiting - PLEASE HELP with calming suggestions!

Ugh, I wish I had some sage advice. I have a klonopin rx, and I rarely use it. I take maybe 1 or 2 tabs a month. But I know I'll be popping one before I start getting ready that day. I'll be able to relax once I see FH that day, but getting ready... I'll be a mess.

Just be there for him as much as you can. That's all I can say.

Hi, Anna. I'm so sorry to hear that your FI is struggling with this issue. I recently began experiencing acute anxiety, almost to the point that it became debilitating. My doctor put me on the lowest dose of Xanax available and referred me to a therapist.

Because Xanax isn't an option for your FI (although it is a rather affordable prescription even without insurance), the biggest suggestion that I can make is that he remembers to breathe. When I pay attention to what's happening when I begin to experience a panic attack, I usually notice that I've been holding my breath without even realizing it.

I'm not sure about physical remedies for anxiety other than prescriptions, but I've got plenty of mental ones that have helped a lot.

Meditation! Also, do you have a vitamin store near you? They will also have herbal remedies. Godd luck, that is no fun!

What I've noticed is as long as he's occupied he's doing ok. He plays a lot of Minecraft (video game) and though he's nauseous, he doesn't get sick. But for example, last night he tried to come to bed at 4 am, ended up vomiting, and then laid in bed awake until 6 when I woke up (I work days, he works swings - teacher and tattoo artist). He couldn't relax. At first we thought he had a stomach bug, but this morning he admitted he's nervous and feeling worried. Now I'm hoping for something to help, even if it's just the placebo effect!

Four-square breathing. My therapist taught me this. Find a square object to focus your eyes on. As you breathe in, move your eyes up one side of the object. Hold your breath as you move your eyes over the next side. On the third side, exhale. Then hold your breath again on the fourth side. Repeat.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but it really works. I use it on planes.

Exercise, meditation, warm baths, deep breathing...but my all time cure all is my xanax...there aren't any side effects..so if he can get his hands on some I suggest it.

I'm so sorry he feels this way. I suffer from panic and anxiety and it's horrible.

The best way to relax a groom, I find, is to find vendors that he is comfortable with. Make sure your venue is what he really wants, that the videographer and photographer isn't pushy and has an understanding nature (Sense of humor is a plus!).

In the end he is going to be nervous either way. Just remind him to keep his eyes on you and maybe work out a little code (A squeeze on the hand, a wink, etc.) between you both that when he is getting too overwhelmed that the two of you can sneak away together to the bridal suite. Just knowing that he can easily escape may give him just enough stress relief that he can make it through the day without any major panicking.

Best of luck to you!

A nice hot bubble bath with booze and nice soft music.turn off the lights and just relax until the water gets cold. That's how I do it.

you want to watch on taking herbal remedies and it isn't always 100% herbal.

OK someone needs to be in charge of keeping him distracted! Put one of his buddies on that. I think he should definitely eat, but keep it light like crackers, toast, or some fruit. In terms of herbals or supplements, he could take a small dose of melatonin before bed each night, but start him on that now to see how it works for him. It's a natural sleep aid as well as an anxiolytic. We use it for some of our patients getting ready for the OR. Take no more than 5mg because too much can have the opposite effect. You could also try Natural Calm. It's a Magnesium drink that reduces the effects of stress. Again, though, more is not better... so with anything you try follow the recommendations. Just because it's over the counter doesn't mean it's not without risks or side effects! We were both SO nervous that day, but a switch goes off the moment you have to walk down that aisle and... IT'S ALL GOOD!

BEST OF LUCK!!

Passionflower (Passiflora incarnata) was first grown and used by Native Americans in the Southern United States, like so many of our plant medicines. Passionflower has the flavone chrysin, which has wonderful anti-anxiety benefits and, in part, can work similarly to the pharmaceutical Xanax (Alprazolam) (2,3). I hope this helps.

@Leanna: I'll have to try four square breathing. That sounds great!

I'm sorry he is having this problem. As someone who suffers from panic attacs (anxiety) while stopped at red ights I can understand where he is coming from. Xanax I don't think at this point would help because it's too close to the date and it takes time for it to work on the cause of the problem. My therapist recommended this book: "Overcoming Panic, Anxiety and Phobias: New Strategies to Free Yourself from Worry and Fear" By Shirley Babio. It has helped me a bit when I follow it. It helps identify the triggers and has breathing exercises and self talk (which really helps me) The main thing is to slow his heart rate down and do that by concentrated breathing. Good luck

I don't have panic like this, but when I am feeling overwhelmed or depressed, it helps me to really take care of myself. If I eat really healthy, exercise regularly (perhaps every day for your FH before the wedding?), and remember to take a little time for myself, it can really help. Fish oil helps me a lot. Two tablets once a day.

My H does have anxiety, I think he felt pretty good at our wedding though. Everyone that came was there because they loved us and he was so pleased to see our friends and family. I was the one panicking before the wedding! It helped me to have a home base where I could escape from the planning when I needed to. My cousin was an invaluable help to me.

Oh I feel for him! Excercise can reduce anxiety by like 40%. Breathing 3 times deeply when he feels anxious will also help.

Can he just go see a therapist to maybe learn some techniques to help for the wedding day?

Stay away from caffiene,sugar,sugar subsitutes like Apsertame (in diet drinks usually). Tell him to get plenty of sleep. Herbal teas can certainly help with relaxation. At health food stores they have many different things for anxiety/panic. Go in and talk to them and see what they suggest. Theres something called "Panick Buttom" that works well and is very safe.

Is there anything specific that is causing the anxiety? Like a certain part of the ceremony? Maybe adjustments can be made to help make the wedding more enjoyable. Also tell your FH that biologically what you expeirence when your excited and nervous are the same. The only difference with anxiety is the element of fear. Maybe reasoning it out in his mind will help him some. Goodluck!

Yoga, meditation, breathing exercises.. might ask your doctor about St John's Wort, it's an herbal pill that is supposed to help depression/anxiety I believe (again, I say ask your doctor). Are you doing a first look at all?? I am guessing he could really benefit from a first look.. maybe help calm his nerves before the actual ceremony.. just a thought.

Ok - let me see if I get all the comments.

We don't drink much, but I am thinking a nightcap before bed might help him turn his brain off.

I'm the teacher, lol. I hide what tattoos I have, and he owns a shop here in Dallas.

We've tried melatonin in the past, and sometimes it helps him sleep. Unfortunately, he decided to try uping the dosage on it on his own and learned that it makes him itchy and he has funny dreams. So it's not an option now.

I take magnesium for me, on occasion - I didn't even think to try it for him. Good suggestion! When I have a hard time sleeping I'll drink a cup of chamomile tea with honey, and take a magnesium supplement. Maybe I'll try that with him too.

Thanks for the idea on the passionflower! I guess I'll have to do a little more research and see if I can find it.

So far as I can tell, his anxiety stems from the fact that his entire family (well, those he considers family) will be there. His dad, as well as his much older brothers are coming. He hasn't seen the brothers in several years. He's made comments that make me think that he's worried they'll be disappointed in him. He's definitely the black sheep of the family (think - tattoo artist from a white/Republican/military family) and I'm wondering if he's worried about what they think of him.

I know from how they talk when I've spoken to them that this isn't true. But then again, I also know full well that anxiety isn't rational. He knows it, but he can't convince his anxiety of it.

Thank you all, for the suggestions. I'll talk to him when I get home from work and see what he would like to try.

Make sure his best man and the officiant know that he's more nervous than most grooms. Ask them to help calm him.

Dan - trust me, I've told them! That was one of the first things I did!

How about a pre-wedding date night? Do something that he wants to do that you know relaxes him. You are his help-mate. Go for it and make him happy. In turn, he will do the same to you. Keep calm and good luck.