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Del
Master November 2017

Extremely uncomfortable wedding

Del, on February 13, 2017 at 8:49 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 141

I posted earlier about going to a wedding in which we were expected to pay in cash for own dinners. I have now returned from that wedding. It sucked. The vibe was so bad. During the cocktail hour, while the bride and groom were taking pictures, people went from subtly bitchy ("Nice dress she had on....

I posted earlier about going to a wedding in which we were expected to pay in cash for own dinners. I have now returned from that wedding.

It sucked.

The vibe was so bad. During the cocktail hour, while the bride and groom were taking pictures, people went from subtly bitchy ("Nice dress she had on. Bet it was expensive") to outright angry ("This is just wrong, right? Everyone agrees this is wrong?") in record time. By the time the couple showed up, everyone was pretty obviously in a pissy mood.

We ordered. One woman loudly asked her partner if he had brought enough money for her to get the scallops. At one point, the bride urged a guest to get more wine and she just flat out said, "I can't. I didn't bring enough cash."

(continued in comments)

141 Comments

  • VC
    Master May 2017
    VC ·
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    Thanks for the response OP.

    Sounds like one of the saddest weddings ever too.

    And yeah for the PAY YOUR PLATE go after RSVP is just wrong, I am surprised more people did not UNINVITE themselves and come up with an excuse not to show up anymore hehe

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  • kimbo
    VIP January 1900
    kimbo ·
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    I would have been torn between not showing up and paying for my own plate and wanting to go just to see how bad it was!

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  • JSull
    Master October 2017
    JSull ·
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    I would have put a $2 bill in an envelope, if I even showed up. What a shit show!

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  • SageTree
    Super July 2017
    SageTree ·
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    Wow, Delfina, you are way more patient and a better person than I! That sounds like a real interesting wedding to endure. I've never even HEARD of pay-your-own-plate weddings. I didn't know that was a thing!

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  • NikNak
    Master September 2018
    NikNak ·
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    I don't even know what to say to this, it sounds awful...

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  • FutureHennigan
    Super September 2018
    FutureHennigan ·
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    What the hell?! Who does this?!?! I can't imagine holding my tongue in a situation like this. Good for you.

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  • LolliPOP
    Super May 2017
    LolliPOP ·
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    Holy cow!!!!!! Unfuckingbelievable!!!! I'm so sorry you had to experience such tackiness!!!!

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  • MAMW
    VIP August 2013
    MAMW ·
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    Scallop lady is my hero, just saying.

    What an insane experience! You're a really good person for trying to be nice through the whole thing.

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  • soontobeRTR
    Expert February 2017
    soontobeRTR ·
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    OMG I cannot believe they had a donation jar on top of you having to pay for your dinner! That is just truly heinous.

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  • Gracie Lou Freebush
    VIP October 2017
    Gracie Lou Freebush ·
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    Holy crap. Winner of most epic wedding fail.

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  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
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    That sounds awful.

    Not gonna lie, I would have been the petty guest that openly paid for my dinner out of the envelope with the cash gift I was planning on giving.

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  • Katherine
    VIP June 2017
    Katherine ·
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    Ditto MAMW, Scallop Lady is my hero.

    If I had enough drinks (that I purchased myself) I might have made a loud comment about how I'd love to put money in the jar, but I'd just spent my cash on my dinner.

    This is seriously un-fucking-believable.

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  • SwissMs
    Super March 2018
    SwissMs ·
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    I'm curious if the bride's encouragement to get more wine was for a bottle (that she hoped to share) or just a glass. I definitely would have been the one to take money out of the card envelope.

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  • FutureMrsAF
    Super August 2017
    FutureMrsAF ·
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    Wow... there are definitely some things I could say I thought about doing prior to coming to WW and realizing they were terrible ideas, and I can blame that on lack of knowledge, but I STILL would never assume it's okay to make guests pay for their own dinner, and also expect gifts and donations after the fact? That's one where it's like, okay you didn't realize how rude a cash bar is, okay - but you definitely should know that it's rude to invite people to your wedding and not even cover dinner.

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  • 2B_Mrs.J.T.
    VIP September 2017
    2B_Mrs.J.T. ·
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    What the f******* .. literally my jaw just dropped Delfina!! A collection jar?!???!

    Although to be honest I am glad the bride finally realized the issue when she saw the jar!

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  • Juli
    VIP March 2017
    Juli ·
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    Daaaaaaaaaaang. Rude. That's crazy they felt comfortable doing that to their guests.

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  • AnnaKay
    Super June 2018
    AnnaKay ·
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    This sounds terrible and rude as hell.

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  • Riya
    Super November 2018
    Riya ·
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    I can't even believe people did this. I have a pit in my stomach just thinking about suffering through that evening.

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  • FMR2018
    Master October 2018
    FMR2018 ·
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    I just can't. That's unbelievable. You're so much stronger than me. I'd have stayed home. Sounds like an absolute shit show.

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  • It's going to be "Good"
    VIP September 2017
    It's going to be "Good" ·
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    Oh my... I'm sorry you had to experience such an awkward situation when it was suppose to be a fun/beautiful day.

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