Extremely uncomfortable wedding

O M G how embarrassing. Can I ask a wedding question about this? What else did they do during reception? Was it just dinner and a jar or were there speeches, first dance, games anything?

Or was it just a "come celebrate our wedding by coming out for dinner and paying it for yourselves" kinda thing? Also if people knew about paying, how many people attended?

I've been cranky the whole day, but this story shocked me out of my mood. So thanks for that!

So they asked you to pay for your own plate. And they got gifts (I'm assuming). And they put out a collection plate. I actually just can't cope with how many unacceptable things happened.

YIKES. That was painful to read. I can't imagine actually being there.

This is about the worst wedding story I have ever heard. No, it IS the worst wedding story I've ever heard. Compounding it is that if this woman is reasonably smart enough to be in a management position, you'd think she'd be smart enough to know this is horrendous .

Delifina, you're a much better person than I... I wouldn't have gone after the initial heads up, but after the cash jar, I'd have taken my meager gift and gone home. And never spoken to that person again.

JoRocka is right; friends don't let dear friends act like assholes, but acquaintences? It's not worth the effort.

Yeesh. That sounds horribly uncomfortable for everyone involved and incredibly rude of the hosts.

On the other hand, though, I grudgingly admire the couple's chutzpah - going for a straightforward cash grab and not trying to cute it up or hide what it is. I mean. Damn.

How many people were there? It seems to me like a lot of people wouldn't show up after the MOH calling them to tell them about the cash for the restaurant. I commend you for being a bigger person and going but damn that is tacky and rude of the couple!

@VC

It was a restaurant reception, so no dances. There were speeches and toasts from the parents and wedding party, but those people hadn't been there for the cocktail hour, so they had sort of missed the general consensus that everything sucked.

The invitation we got said NOTHING about paying. When the MOH called to tell us to bring cash, she told me that it had been on the facebook event for the wedding that it was a pay-your-plate. but we don't have facebook accounts and we needed to have it to view the page.

However, some other guest told me at the wedding that the information about paying only went up after the RSVP date. I don't know if they did that to get people to RSVP yes, if they had initially planned to pay and ran out of money or if it suddenly occurred to them that they really should let people know about that.

"the information about paying only went up after the RSVP date."

IF I had gone, "no gift for you"

Wow this is the absolute worst wedding story I have ever heard!

Omg what a disaster !! Im embarrassed for them

Do you know if the couple has a social disorder? I know that wouldn't make it any better, but would it explain the behavior at least?

@Alyssachu

I bought them a gift off their registry before I knew about the situation. I did debate returning it, but I decided I didn't want to be that person. Had I known, I probably still would have taken something, but it would have been maybe $20 in an envelope, not a really nice crystal serving tray which is what I did give them.

Wow. That's just a disgusting way to treat your guests.

For those who are asking, there were between 40-50 people there. There were about 50 at the ceremony I think, but some of them didn't come to dinner. I was surprised it was so small, since if you're inviting ex-colleagues you're not really having an intimate event (although we were a pretty close knit team at one point) but who knows. It's possible they invited more people who didn't come; it's possible that particular group meant more to her than we realized.

But honestly, I would have happily been cut it if meant they could actually buy dinner for a smaller group of people. They would have had a way nicer wedding that way and even though they were bad hosts I hate that this is how they're going to remember the start of their marriage.

Yikes I wouldn't have even gone unless it was a VIP. And none of my VIPs would ever do this....

My jaw dropped at the jar. I wanted to give her benefit of the doubt but wow, that's the worst wedding story I can imagine.

Oh thats absolutely the worst!!!

I wonder if the bride cried later...

Oh wow. Worse than I expected. Way way way worse. I can't even imagine.

OP, thanks for reporting back. That was so much worse than I expected.

Cringeworthy. I can't even find a good meme to express my cringes. Yikes.

Oh my God.

I have no words.

The passing of the jar...