Extremely uncomfortable wedding

Wow that sounds awful and I cannot believe they had the nerve to pass a money jar around!!!!!

LG- you know... everyone there would have felt better if someone had given it a little rattle.

It was definitely pretty bad. On the drive home, FH said to me, "I hope you don't mind, but I seriously need to blast some Springsteen right now." I totally got it.

@RaeGin - the bride is a former colleague. She used to be the head of my department, and she invited all her former direct reports.

I knew she was bit socially inappropriate, but this really surprised me. I had, for the most part liked her. I was happy she was in love. Now I don't really want to see her again; it'll be too uncomfortable. It's weird, but a seriously bad wedding can really put you off someone.

Tryptophan will live in infamy!

We went to a wedding with a unhosted gap. I was trying to be more open minded than usual about it until I saw the biggest limo I have ever set eyes upon. So I jumped to the conclusion that any hosting money went for the limo.

During the gap, J and I and several others hit up a favorite pub from that area. I used the cash from the wedding card as the pub didn't take credit cards.

We had a ball and sent them a duvet cover. And lots of stink eyes

Wow. Do you think the bride/groom realized how bad this was or do you think the comments and the change in the jar went over their head? For those brides/grooms that insist on not hosting right because of XYZ reasons, HERE is an example you should remember. They might not say anything to your face but they sure as hell will not be happy.

I would have been team petty with the change in the jar too.

What were the bride and groom's reactions?

LeahH- the only reason I'm believing this is because Delfina is on here regularly- if it was a name I didn't recognize I wouldn't believe this at all.

its' just so fucking out there. But Delfina's a pretty fucking credible source- and she told us she was going- but unfucking believable.

Glad you came back to tell us!!!

Oh my gosh, you went?! Thank you for reporting back! This is just terrible. I can't believe they had the nerve to send around a jar for "collections" after all that. I would not have even thrown in a few pennies. Just wow!

The couple were pretty twitchy throughout. They came in genuinely happy, but walking into a room of unhappy people who are kind of trying to pretend not to be unhappy is a mood killer. They tried for forced jocularity for a while, but it got more and more strained. The bride's face sort of collapsed when she saw the change in the jar, and I did feel bad about that. The groom just put it under the table and didn't say anything. I think by the end they got what the issue was, but I honestly don't know if they felt bad about it or if they thought we were assholes for not being able to put it aside.

The thing was, I really was trying to put it aside but it couldn't be done. It was this big inappropriate issue sitting in the middle of the table, like a centerpiece. Totally the elephant in the room.

@JoRocka - I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't been there! I've been to some wonderful weddings and some not great ones, but this was a disaster.

Ew my god. You have got to be kidding me. You're better than I am because I would not have went to that shit show.

Let this be an example to all the brides and grooms out here that want to do this to their guest!

I had the same feeling as Richard. I would bet that jar was the motivator behind the "bring cash" call.

Yay! An update. I'm petty af too and would have shaken the jar.

Oh wow that's terrible! I can't believe that actually happened...just so many things that are wrong

@Richard - yeah, they really didn't take cards. That was real. I don't think they were trying to be deliberately scammy; they just somehow didn't get that we weren't meant to offset the cost of the wedding.

Delfina- I have to admit- You're a much bigger person than I am- if I had found out last minute that I had to pay for my own meal I would not have gone.

With the extreme exception that it was a very dear friend- in which case I would have called her up and told her she was being a fucking cunt and was wrong- but I would have still gone.

Even just going was really big of you.

Wow. That is terrible, you know ...Maybe the bride was prideful and I'm not excusing the poor hosting at all, but perhaps a gracious speech thanking her guests for covering their own meals with a sincere apology would've went a lot better than a forced jovial mood and COLLECTION JAR! I'm in shock.

Yikes! This should be a sticky at the top of the forums. Ha.

Holy shit!!! How did they word this on the invitation?? Ugh this is embarrassing and I don't even freaking know these people.

Wow. First of all I can't believe they actually made their guests pay for their meals, but then to have the audacity to ask for donations?! Damn. What did the couple say? Like, I can't believe this is real.