Engaged after a month????!!!

I don't judge anyone because I grew up in a different way, married at 19, only had sex with one man for 20 something years. I did "up" my numbers after our divorce, but all in relationships. I've never had a one night stand and now I guess I never will ...dang! lol

Women shouldn't be judged for having sex, men do it all the time and don't get judged. If they're safe and not getting hurt (ie they want more from the guy and think giving him sex will make that happen), then que sera. NOw if they're doing for unhealthy reasons (they need confirmation or validation from men and get it through sex etc) then they need therapy. FAST.

Kathy I have had sexual partners but all have been people I have been with for a while I am a sexual person though and i never apologise for that but I am very careful who I am with and have always used protection. I know people that have waited till marriage and others that are happy to have one night stands all the time. It is a different time and a lot of women are more in touch with their sexuality. However every person is different as are their maturity levels. By 18 I had become the youngest store manager ever for two different international companies and managed people up to 10 or more years older than me.

Aussie I am very comfortable in my skin and I love sex, I just find sex to be very special between two people married to each others, ya know? Everyone is different, it is just I always had a hard time getting along with people my age because I didn't agree about sex nor drugs and etc. Anyway congrats on a baby :-)

Megan I have no problem with people who choose to wait at all. Everyone is different. I was never involved in drugs or binge drinking or any of that but I enjoy sex.

Okay. A couple things. My FH and I were together for 2 years when we got engaged. We were friends for 2 years before that... And frankly, I still learn new things about him on a regular basis, which I LOVE. I don't understand how people can promise their entire world to someone they hardly know... But I guess that's just me? Anyway... As far as sexual partners, I had 2 semi-serious relationships before FH. My first was with a guy I dated for 9 months. The second I dated for 6. I didn't have sex with them out of insecurity or any such thing. I was a teenager, yes. But it seemed natural and I can't say I regret it. It was done responsibly and with protection ALWAYS. I think it's crazy that the my exes can high-five and brag about their "number" and I have to defend the fact that I've been with more than one guy. All that SHOULD count is that I will be with one guy for the REST of my life...

OMG, that's wild!

That sounds totally like my own youngest sister. She met her boyfriend of 5 months at some cheesy bar on the rebound from another boyfriend and now she's pregnant and her shotgun wedding is in July on my birthday. Neither of them are good with money and the boyfriend refuses to get anything better than his part time job at some home goods place.

She's also bad with money and jobs. Mom shares a bank account with her and she lives at home still and our parents still clean up after her.

I totally feel your pain, it's frustrating to say the least.

I must have missed the part where we were discussing sexual partners. But, uh, I've only been with FH. And only will be with him. It was my choice not to wait until marriage, but I am very proud that he's the only one who I've given myself to - it make me feel like my sexuality is something to cherish. Unfortunately not very many my age see the need to guard it so well. I'm not saying you have to sport a chastity belt, just not throw it around so freely. But then again, I'm sure all of us know that - it's the youngins I wish knew this lol.

I knew the right one for me after our first kiss, I hope your sister is as lucky for her kids if not for her. Good call not to cosign the loan with all the drama that must go on the last thing they need is for their mom to start family drama by defaulting on something like that. I know you wouldn't hold it against the kids but everything she goes through affects them.

LOL @Tracy. "I think the cheese has slid off the cracker." Awesome. Thanks for that!

To each their own on WW when it comes to sexual partners and no need to feel disgraced because I am a young bride with a number and don't feel guilty about it. I don't want to feel guilty about it and don't think anyone should really be trying to make me. I am who I am and it may be the "norm" of the generation but def NOT why I have a number. I just wish that didn't turn into the topic. As for the topic at hand--I feel awful for her kids! With FH I didn't meet his son until we had been together for a few months and knew we were serious. You don't just parade gf/bf in front of your kids..bad parenting skills on her part. Could she possibly be jealous of your upcoming wedding and found a guy who was willing to marry her so fast?

My mother made me promise never to marry anyone I hadn't lived with first when I was 12, and I think it was good advice. I'm with Nicci--I've had a number of sexual partners, some of them in relationships and some of them not, and I don't regret them. As I told FH when we first started dating, I'm fast, but I'm not easy. :p

As for the situation with the sister... ultimately I don't think it really matters WHY she's doing this stuff; pretty clearly she has poor decision-making skills, impulse control, and understanding of likely future consequences. Even if you did know exactly what was behind it, you couldn't fix it unless you could make HER understand it all (maybe). Therapy might help her if she made the decision to get it, but that doesn't sound likely right now.

There's not a lot to do about it except to not get any more involved than necessary. Definitely the right choice not to co-sign any loans for her.

Oh nicci i have no clue. probably..when i told her that me and my bf of 7 years were getting married all she had to say was "cool" and that was it. I was gonna have her be in the bridal party but then her and my mom were fighting over my mom telling her she needed to take care of her kids which is why she moved an hour away and at the same time she was going through a custody battle with father of boy #2. She had alot on her plate so I did not ask her to be in the party...i asked her to be an usher/greeter so all she had to do was show up on the big day. She was mad, but I was thinking of her and all she had to deal with. I didnt want to add anymore to her plate.

I love how us "young brides" pretty much automatically are different from "more experienced brides" LOL... My number is 2 (not that it's anyone's business) and that includes my FH. There always seems to be a high and mighty attitude associated with those who chose to wait til marriage, a choice which I respect. But I guess I wish that some people were as eager to respect the choices people make regardless of whether or not they coincide with their own. After all, there's always the argument that if you wait til marriage and the sex life sucks.... you're stuck with it. I think I'd rather take things on a test drive first (omg and if a single person implies that this means I am marrying FH for the sex I am going to internet bit*% slap you). Thanks.

Technically, the average age of first marriage for women in the US is 25. So if a woman is around 25, it's not really appropriate to call her a "young" bride--she's average. At 28, I'm a little old for the Midwest although probably pretty average for the East Coast. Of course, it would be impolite for us to start calling people "old brides"... :p

LOL @ Cabell G. Yeah I'm 21 so considered a "young bride".... though people treat me like I'm getting married the second I turned 18-- and I was a different person then. Yeah I didn't wanna call people "old".... hence the "more experienced"

Well that sounds like a hot mess ew, im sorry that's happening. i really am. u definitely dont need more stress on top of planning your own wedding with your own stable relationship! it's so hard to watch ppl u love be all over the place and make choices like this. i have had experience being the outsider to it as well. and i am a young bride, too. 23 and FH is 24, turning 25 in sept. i have noticed a big diff in the way i am treated! it seems like vendors dont think i can afford anything bc im young? i want to say, "hey! im starting grad school this yr and i have a 5 year old...so stop w/ the judgement!" lol

Wow..... engaged already .... I would recommend a LOOOOOOONNNNNG engagement!!

I thought the average age was now 27 for women and 29 for men?

In any case, I am old but not too old for the West Coast city gals, just a little older mid 30s because I had detoured a bit and taken the grad school while working route.

...

@dme: smart move not to co-sign.

As much as our sisters annoy us, of course we would help them if we really thought they were responsible, needed it temporarily, and if we were in a position to provide, right?

It gets me though how some siblings always come around or kiss up to the ones, who shell out the money. But that's how it is with many people. I have 5 siblings, 3 of which are sisters....

Have you joined the non crazy sister club? ;p

I agree with you Cabell, I will be almost 26 when I get married. I am the oldest woman in my mom and dad's sides to get married actually lol. My 19 years old cousin is getting married same year as me. She quickly judged me for being engaged after few months dating my FH, but I didn't said a word about her being too young because it is not my place, ya know? All I said congrats and I asked her for wedding details. I wanted to be the good cousin to her. It is very rude to judge people getting married, so what if they are young or know each others for few months. Mom told me the wise advice, "The divorce rate is so high. It is what it is. If you believe in your ability to stay married, that is all that matters." Amen!! Trust me, so many people judged my decision to marry my FH because of short time. But I smile and said at least I am happy.

But it was rude of the sister to not care about your engagement, I am sorry but she has a lot of growing up to do before she can think of a lifetime commitment