Cold feet? Second thouhts? Regrets?

I also wanted to say that it's not fair to your FS that you have these doubts/fears and still want to continue with the wedding. I think he deserves all of your love, without any doubts, fears or reservations. If I were you, I would post pone the wedding until I worked on those issues and was okay with taking that leap of faith. Marriage does not come with a gurantee, unfortunately. That's why a lot of people wait to get engaged, or have long engagements. I would hate for you to get married, and regret it as soon as the wedding was over. You don't need to please anyone, but yourself and your FS.

It doesn't matter how perfect you think he is for you, or how perfect he actually is...what matters is if you want to be with him forever. It sounds like you're trying to convince yourself of what you should already know in your heart.

Postone.

My 2 cents...Please hold off for a bit. Wait and get to know your FS better before you get married. What is the rush. If it is meant to be, then waiting will not make a difference. You have not mailed out the invitations. The mature thing to do right now would be to wait and be sure of your feelings and each other. He says he will wait for you for forever, so that is not a problem. Please just postpone for now just until you can say to yourself that you are not worried or unsure, no second thoughts, no cold feet.

I agree with Mom N like always :-)

I realize the world is full of lots of different types of opinions and cultures...but consider, please, consider your age.

I think the bigger question even BEFORE you wonder if you've got the right guy...is WHO ARE YOU? You need time to discover yourself. Yes, overwhelming feelings are normal...I am totally stressed out. But at the end of the day, I know I've chosen the man that is right for me because I'm almost 30 years old and I've lived a while and had time to refelct through my younger years.

I broke up with someone a while back, that I probably would have married. He was just right according to all of societies rules. But parting from him broke my spirit for nearly 2 years. I didn't know who I was any longer. Looking back, I realize I was growing up. I had come through the experience having learned about myself.

Find a life for yourself, a job, school, whatever, know you can be just you before you look for a partner...know YOU first!

I'm young, too - 21, but on our wedding day, I was pretty much dragging my dad down the aisle I was in such a hurry to get to the love of my life and make him my husband, and apparently he sprinted down the aisle, too. If you don't think you'll feel that way, then don't do it. You deserve that feeling; he deserves that feeling. I was nervous, too, I mean, marriage is a big deal - a huge commitment. But the closer we got to the wedding, the less I worried. DH asked if I was nervous, because he was "scared to do the first dance" and wanted to know if I was worried too, and I told him no, I was marrying him and there was nothing to be nervous about. If I couldn't have honestly have made that statement, I wouldn't have gone through with it.

Nerves are one thing. I certainly had them I was scared that I would hate living in America and it would cause a lot of stress but I was never worried about my husband. I always tell him he's everything I truly wanted and everything I didnt know I needed. You sound like you are using the excuse that he's perfect in these ways to justify going through with something that you dont seem sure of. My husband is not what I would have thought would make the perfect husband but he is so wonderful that no matter what his faults I cant imagine not having him as my husband. I think you should postpone until you know that this marriage is right not worry that you are going to cancel it later.

I can speak from going through this right now! My fh came to me yesterday and told me that he wanted to postpone the wedding! We know that we love each other but we have been fighting a lot. My fh is stressed about school and other things. he even told me that if we were to get married in march at this point he doesn't feel excited and he said that he wants to be excited when he gets married. We both decided that we needed to work on our relationship before getting married. I hope that helped some and feel free to pm me! We are a young couple too!

You just went through a breakup not too long ago and you need to give yourself time to morn the loss of that relationship. You also need to, as it was pointed out above, learn to love and trust yourself before you can learn to love and completely trust another.

It sounds like you are afraid to completely give yourself mentally in trust over to your FS and in order for your marriage to work you have to completely trust yourself to him (no walls). You will not be able to do this until you are able to completely trust yourself.

Marchgrl..talks about postponing, and this sounds like a wise decision to work on their relationship and making their union stronger before making it complete. What a wise choice.

Your hesitation sounds more than just concerns but doubts that need to be handled now

Like sharon said She could live on without Rick (Strong Women) but being in love with him is a better choice and not giddy but a stable, secure, strong, healthy, safe, love.

Pray about this.....hard

Okay... it sounds like you really love him, but what would make you not want to marry him or be affectinate towards him? Marriage is forever honey, and it's something that should not be taken lightly whatsoever. Don't make any decisions in which u have strong second thoughts or regrets with. There's a big diffrence between cold feet, and knowing for a fact that your making a decision that you are not ready for. Good luck!

I totally agree with Teresa W. Marriage is forever and you should be happy to be with this man forever I understand that some people might have weird thoughts before but these thoughts seem to be pretty strong. I've been with my fiancee for almost 8 years and we met at 19 and pretty much knew it from that age that we were made for each other but there is no way I could have married at that age. As you grow older the way you see things changes and you won't realize that till you are older. Now off the age subject please make sure you are ready for marriage not just because postponing the wedding would be weird.Make the wedding a year later so you both can get to know each other a bit more and feel more secure about the choice you're both making. I love my man so much and I am anxious to be man and wife and I believe everyone should have those happy feelings some worried ones too but mostly regarding the wedding planning not your other half.Best wishes

When it got closer to the wedding everyone kept asking me if I was nervous yet. My answer didn't change at all, not once. It was always, "Nope. I have nothing to be nervous about. I know Ian is the only one I want to be with so me being his wife is nothing to be nervous about." They'd all say that by the wedding day I'd be nervous. Wedding day came around and I still wasn't nervous. I had no reason to be. I knew we'd be leaving as husband and wife. If I didn't absolutely, 100%, completely know that in every part of me I wouldn't have gotten married that day. I've been hurt a lot before and I will be extremely heart broken if Ian ever leaves me, but I'll survive it. I have before. Me loving him outweighed all of the bad things that could or might happen later. I wouldn't ever change my decision to marry him. If you don't feel that way about your FH please put the wedding off until you do feel that way.

We don't know you personally, so all we can go on is your words. I hear you justifying him and that he's "perfect". But the list you gave on why he is "perfect" lacks a depth that I feel is required in truly "knowing" someone. Marrying someone because you liked how he asked you out, and that he likes the same baby names just isn't enough in my opinion. I know others will disagree but I simply cannot believe that someone at age 19 can have enough self understanding to chose their life partner. I realize this is a controversial issue but imagin this: you are 19 now. If you marry him now, you have 60 years to enjoy or regret your decision. What's another year or 2 postponement if it was "mean to be?". Your twenties are HUGE for self discovery and learning. I promise you will NOT be the same person in 5 years that you are now. Even by postponing the wedding, you can still be together. Trust your gut, honey. That little gnawing feeling in your tummy saying something isn't right is instinct

Hillary, I have to disagree with you saying that her age is an issue. I was married when I was 19, but it was a month before my 20th birthday. I don't care if who I am in 5 years isn't who I am now. I've gone through many changes. But I know I'll still love my husband in 5 years. Age isn't the issue. Her doubts are.

I was having second thoughts myself about marrying my FS...these feelings started happening about 3 months after we were engaged. I started to think of my ex all the time and couldn't get him out of my head and I started checking out guys all the time too...and started second guessing whether I'd dated enough guys to settle down. But..those feelings didn't last that long and when I listed all the great qualities I loev about my FS and why we are so perfect together, I realized I was just being crazy and was just afraid because this is a big step.

Your feelings seem very deep and it's so close to your wedding and it sounds like you've been feeling like this for a while. I would try and talk to your FS about your feelings and see if they go away once you have. I really feel that you have to talk to him about this...it wouldn't be fair to make a drastic decision without letting him know the thoughts that are going on in your head about him right now.

Btw....I too don't have all the crazy in love feelings for my FS as I did for my ex...but like you..my ex was my first everything so I think I just had a special attachment to him. I feel deep feelings that are very different than those I had for my ex and eventhough they're not the same..I feel they are much deeper and based on qualifying factors rather than just cus he's my first at something.

Tabby, it seems like you've gotten a lot of sound advice from the ladies above. Just take time to sort this all out and be certain. In the end, it is your life and you need to decide what direction it will go in.

I agree...all sound advice above.. However, I can't help but feel sad about this whole thing...and confused for you....I don't even know what to say to you... you seem to have a very close relationship to God...so I will say pray about it all....and then make a decision as God shows you the way. I will pray for you as well.