Cold feet? Second thouhts? Regrets?

Yikes the formatting changed....the first percentage is women and the second is men.

Now, for the younger brides here I'm not stating your marriages are all doomed.....in fact knowing these statistics should empower you to be aware of the situation and perhaps remind you to actively self evaluate regularly and to ensure that you and your spouse grow with each other and not apart. In this thread it's been suggested that I've "stereotyped" all young couples. Nope, darlings I've just stated facts. It's nothing personal, it's just reality. However you chose to make your own realities are up to you. Everyone should just know what they are up against.

Http://www.professorshouse.com/family/relationships/pros-cons-of-marrying-young.aspx

I think this is a pretty balanced article on the subject...

Hillary I am perfectly aware of the statistics however you are turning this thread into something based purely on age when there are clearly issues other than just age affecting this relationship. Unfortunately I am beginning to find you very judgemental. You are stereotyping. While you say "Of course the couples who are young are going to disagree with me and vehemently argue that they are "different" and more mature than their peers" do we not have the right to say im sorry but you do not know us personally therefore you cannot make a judgement on the strength of each marriage based purely on age? I have studied statistics and there is no truly reliable statistic. How many of those that divorced after a young marriage went on to divorce later on at life? How many of them have had several divorces? How many never married again which would affect the statistics? There are many things that need to be taken into consideration when looking at any statistic.

I agree with Hilary, she is not labeling you guys or saying your marriage is doomed. It is good to be aware and not make same mistakes as divorced couples did, ya know?

I think the focus needs to be put back onto this individual couples problem and offering advice rather than turning the thread into everyone's opinions on younger brides. Tabby please keep us updated on how things are progressing. Just remember there is no problem in postponing until you know what you truly want. I do think it sounds like you have not yet healed from a broken engagement only a year ago. Do not feel pressured to marry until you know you are ready. It should be the happiest day of your life not one filled with doubt as you walk down the aisle.

Yes it seems to be a very touchy subject :-/, best to drop it and focus on Tabby.

Hey there. So cold feet is definatley scary and there is no answer anyone but you can give- but I can give you some advice on the Christian counceling. Our pastor took us through a book called "preparing for marriage" edited by Dennis Rainey among others. It was fabulous. I'd say it would be easiest to have a mentor to work you through it, but given both of you working with your church it might me hard to find someone you feel comfortable with that doesn't already knwo your relationship. I'll tell you though that it gives wonderful advice, and has soem great decision making guides. One ofthe biggest things that helped me (because I tend to be ultra over-analyzing and picky) was the "why marriage" section. In the Christian view marriage is not just the next step in a relationship, or something that will "make you happy all the time". It's something God has planned-he's given the right person to you as your provision on earth, and you as theirs. The question is not...

...will he make you happy forever but is God leading you to marry- is he the person He made for you? If yes then you can trust that though you won't be giddy always (stress of planning and past experiences alone make that impossible) God has more amazing things planned for you with this man than giddyness and that "crazy in love" feeling. Not to sound preachy- but if you're looking for the Christian side of it you've just got to trust God- you can't answer it all based on your own insight I don't always feel crazy in love giddy with my fiance- but we've been dating for 3 years. This book really helped us work through the issues we have, understand how we can love eachother better, and how to trust God in our relationship- and now even when I'm super stressed and not giddy I know for sure that he is the person I am supposed to be with, and love him like crazy in a different way. Whatever you decide I recommend the book, and know God will lead you to the right thing

Not yet but more like excitement and great anticipation!

I definately think counselling would be a good thing. Talk it out with them. And like I saw you wrote above you want to do Christian Counselling so I say go with it. It sounds like you and FH are pretty open with each other and he sounds great. But I would also be praying about it and asking God for direction. A good book to read "Fit To Be Tied" by I believe it is the Hybels. That was good. Do whatever you need to. And just know that I don't get all of those giddy feelings and stuff all of them time. Am I excited to marry my FH and to spend my life with him absolutely! When we first dating I found myself questioning things too comparing him to my past and things like that. But then realized that he was everything that I was looking for in someone and I know that God brought him to me. And I cannot wait to spend my life with him. I am four days away and am excited. I will be praying for you Tabby and I hope everything works out. Only you can decide what is best.

You will know what is best and you will be at peace with that decision. Like I said get before God pray seek out His Truth in His Word and He will give you what you need. Drown out all of the other voices and just listen to His. He will guide you. Read Proverbs 3:5-6 that is one of my favorite verses. Also Jeremiah 29:11 that is also a good one. All my best to you and if you need anything you can message me or find me on facebook at http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=419116#!/tara98gold

Again praying for you!

So how is it going Tabby?