Cold feet? Second thouhts? Regrets?

This is going to sound horribly mean, and everyone will hate me but here goes... you are young at 19, and if you were engaged to another guy at 18 then it could only be about a year since you got your heart broken the first time... the first love is probably the hardest... Are you sure your even over the first heat break?? what's the rush to get married to this person who you most like have only been dating for a short time? If you have any doubt in your mind that it's not going to work out the put the brakes on and figure it out! Like you said you don't want to resent him in the future, and it's not fair to him either... I'm not saying to call it off either... but maybe to postpone, there is nothing wrong with dating or even being engaged for another year before you decide to tie the knot...

I'm not going to add anything else but say that I share the same points as Rosie in her post above.

I agree with Kelsey, just postpone. Even take a break from him completly for awhile and just be alone. You can't truly be part of an "us" untill your comfortable with just "me" You need to figure out what you want b/c it's not fair to either of you if you go into this with doubts.

Communication is key... so if you guys have that you are on a good track. I think some people get cold feet, I don't necessarily believe it means you are making a mistake. I had the same "am i doing the right thing?" moment when i moved in with my FS 4 and half years ago. And if he is the one for you, I think that you will get to that point where there are no more doubts. I know I did. I think that the main question you have to ask yourself is: do you feel lucky that he is in your life? I really believe if both people feel lucky to have the other person in their life, then it will work. But yes sometimes talking it out with someone else can be helpful, someone unbiased.

I hope we're being helpful and not making things worse. Good luck...

Yes, don't have your decision based on us. We are here to tell you what we think about it, and you are the only one have to decide what's best for you

You're 19 & I'm not judging you because I'm 19 as well & getting married the same month as you, but 19 is young. Maybe the fact that you have your whole life ahead of you is making you iffy about the whole thing. I've felt this way recently, but FH & I talked about it & everything is as good as new. It could also be depression, which I've suffered from numerous times & it does change things in the relationship if you don't talk. Maybe yall should wait a couple more years before you get married. Give it more time. I don't know how long yall have been dating, but you mentioned you were engaged once before last year...maybe you rushed into this one. I'm not saying you don't love him or that he was your rebound, but because it all happened so fast, maybe you should give it a little more time before jumping into marriage. FH & I have been dating for almost 4 years & our wedding day will be our 4 year anniversary. We've lived together for a little over a year & our relationship has (cont.)

Oh, I know... and I appreciate it from everyone. I was too the point of bursting if I didn't get this out.

My Very best friend is his sister... so I didn't really feel like talking to her about it was really a great idea.

We don't live together, and I won't live with anyone until after I'm married... so trips are stuff aren't an option.

We both work with youth in the church, so while we might not personally have anything against it... those kids mean the world to us, and we're gonna try and give them a super over the top example. lol.

(cont.) had it's own wear & tear, but we've made it thru it all & I think you can too. I just think you need to give it more time. Get to know each other a little more & see how that works. Like I said, maybe you jumped into this relationship too fast after the last one & maybe you didn't. Either way, being so close to this wedding & your last fiance leaving you so close to the other wedding...that might be what's making you feel like this. Just talk to your FH hunny. That's the best advice I can give you. Good luck & I hope everything works out!

I believe that if your FS is the one, he will wait for you. Here is an example. My good friend at age 23 was proposed by her boyfriend at the time and she said no. Because she felt she was not ready and was afraid because her parents was divorced. Five years later, he still stood and waited for her while she kept running from him for having the same fears over and over, I lost count. She realized that she was ready to marry him at age 27. Four years later as today, they have three beautiful girls :-) So trust me, if your FS wait for you and is the One for you, he will wait months even years for you. There is hope.

You can ALWAYS postpone, but you can't go back. If he is the one, he will be there waiting.

I agree with Kelsey! If he is the one, he is still going to be the one in a another year or two. Like the others, I am not knocking you, but you are young. I know the person that I thought I was going to be spend my life with at 19 or even 21 is NOTHING like the man I am going to marry next month. I wish you the best and hope you figure out what is best for YOU!

I agree, I think this one is close on the heels of the last one...Analy's right, you can always postpone, and since you're anti-divorce, I'd really take this slow and steady, just to make sure.

How long have you been dating FS and how long after the engagment did you start dating FS?

Oh sweetie- I think this is more than cold feet. I would at least postpone the wedding to take the pressure off, maybe then you can realize what path to take. If he is the "one" he will be there waiting.

I agree with Kelsey and Rosie. Though some amount of nerves is normal, it sounds like this is more than that. From what you say, he seems amazingly sweet and understanding. Waiting seems to be the best thing to do. But none of us are your therapists, and we can't tell you what to do. Only you can make that decision for yourself. Godd luck!

I think maybe your past with the other guy may have something to do with how you're feeling. But I would agree with everyone else, definatley try to talk to someone about it. I went through something like that with my FS a while back, I didn't have that butterflies in my stomach feeling anymore or ever want to hug him or hold hands etc.. BUT like you I still loved him. We went to therapy and ever since it's been so much better. I get butterflies again when he kisses me or even smiles at me with his little dimples lol Try the therapy or somehting for a little while and we'll be here if it gets stressful and you need anyone to talk to : ) I'm sure you'll get through it and think it was silly to ever be nervous.

Please don't jump down my throat I have a few things to say.

1. Each relationship is different.

2. Each love is also different.

3. Everything changes.

4. Age is a big factor a lot of the time, not all of the time though.

That being said, I was a month shy of 20 when I married Ian. Things aren't even close to how it was with my ex. They are completely opposite. I love my husband so much more than I could have imagined. I think you need to sit down and think about everything on your own. If your FH is the one you're supposed to be with then you'll end up together. If not, then there is someone else you're meant to be with. Postpone the wedding until you're absolutely sure that he's the one. Don't put yourself through a marriage that you will regret. After you're completely sure of your feelings and have made a decision you need to talk to your FH about it. If you need to write things down, do it. If you need to have him talk you through everything, do it. I (cont)

(Con't) was hurt a lot before I met Ian and it was hard for me to let my guard down with him. After I took down my walls and actually let him in everything was so much better than it ever had been. We've been together for 2 years this month and we've been through a lot together in that amount of time. If we could get through all the things in those 2 years, I know we'll be able to make it through everything else. You need to be able to say that about your FH. You need to know that he's the one and absolutely the only one for you. Until you can say that about him the wedding can wait.

Postponing is a great idea! I don't know you, your FS, or your relationship dynamics, or even family and church dynamics, which influence everything too. I just can't imagine getting married at 19, as I wasn't the most mature person in my 20s at all. I would wish to wait a few years, at least 2. I just think it's best for you, given what you've told us so far. GL

About 2 months before our wedding I went through kind of the same thing. My situation was different though too because prior to this marriage I had been married before for 17 years, 17 years of trying to fit a square in a circle pretty much. So right around 2 months before I woke up one day in a panic, unsure if I was doing the right thing, but knowing at the same time he really is the person I was meant to be with all along. It really didn't have anything to do with him or our relationship, but a whole lot more to do with what I had been through before. That stuck around for a little over a week and then it faded away.