cash-only bridal shower

It makes me very uncomfortable.... asking for cash for a wedding is one thing. Those gifts are opened privately, so nobody aside from the couple and the gifter know how much they gave.

At a shower, gifts are given and opened publicly and it seems like there would be some.... weird feelings. ie: Whoever gave more loves them more, or, oh that person didn't give very much they must not be very well off... It could make for awkwardness for all

@Michelle: Declining the shower is totally fine and reasonable. Even calling them and nicely explaining why you're offended is ok. Going just to make a person feel bad, especially if the offense was accidental is not. Two wrongs don't make a right.

Also, you don't alway know who decided on a cash shower. Some bridesmaids etc suprise brides with showers. The bride does not always get the chance to see the invite or be a part of the planning. In fact, it's against etiquette to plan your own shower.

@Michelle - I think it's just as rude to give an book on etiquette and highlight how the bride is rude

Maybe you should read the book yourself

I'd either not attend, or google a way to turn a $10 bill in to an oragami animal and put it in a card. I'm against blatantly asking for money and can't believe how people say they have absolutely everything they need. Seriously, are all your kitchen or bath towels in great shape? You don't have a spatula that's seen better days? If Kardashian's still can figure gifts to give and receive, I'm not sure how average Joe can't.

I probably wouldn't go. If FH would be mad if you didn't go since it's his relative, then go, but give a bottle of wine just like she did. Or make I really uncomfortable and pretend you thought it was a lingerie shower

No cash from me.

I'd buy em cute honeymoon luggage tags or tote

@Mrs Drakthal: Usually I agree with you but that's really shameful behavior.

I NEVER give a couple cash for wedding shower and can count on one hand the times that I have for a wedding. And I certainly would not play into someone asking for cash. I think it is far more shameful that she is actually groping for cash. Frankly the cash that we got for our wedding I would be hard pressed to tell someone what we did with it (since most of it went in my gas tank) and therefore we have nothing to show for it. However the people who bought us a gift we think of often. "Oh yeah, lets use the glasses Steve and Jen got us" "Do you want to take the monopoloy game Anne gave us?"

So Eleanor it is shameful for me to give them a gift? Why, because they wanted money?

No it's shameful for you to intentionally make another person feel bad because they made a inadvertent mistake. Just don't go or go and bring a nice gift.

Maybe you did that with your money but we actually saved our money for purposes around the house...for instance we are looking into buying a couch...with the money we got we can say oh wow Bob, Sue, Mary, and Gregg all helped us pay for this couch that we could not have otherwise afforded

An inadvertant mistake is including the little registry things some stores give you with your invitations. It is intentional when you right a ridiculous poem about how you want cash. That is pre-meditated. And saying "I wanted to get you a gift and had to wing it cause I didnt know what you wanted" would only shame someone who was intentionally money grubbing.

And Laudie originally that was out intention with the cash gifts but due to unforseen circumstances (the theft of the checks at my reception from my purse and the resulting fees etc and the cost of cancelling and moving accounts etc) we ended up having to spend the money..........

You can get them chip clips or plastic ice from BBB for, like, $5, and that would be better than trying to publicly shame someone.

I don't like giving cash gifts because for all the weddings we've been to, because I'm not close enough to any of them to want to spend a full amount. And since they've all had huge BBB registries and I have tons of coupons, it's worked out.

But I wouldn't shame someone because they legitimately would prefer cash for a house or their honeymoon than more towels. I'm sure we could use new towels, but the ones we currently have, while not Ritz-Carlton quality, dry us off just fine.

I don't agree with a poem, but to think that someone asking for cash because that's more useful to them begets a public shaming is ridiculous.

Let's see I bought a stack of various shape ice cube trays and funky cookie cutters for one person who never registered anywhere, and seemed to want cash for her wedding shower. For another acquaintance who registered for items in the $200-$500 range and then rather flippantly informed everyone "if you cant afford the stuff on my registry you can just give us checks" I went out and bought her a frilly "hostess apron" and dedazzled "Mrs Cleaver" on it for her. And bought her an Ice bucket and ice tongs which I had engraved with "The Cleavers"..............but apparently I am a crappy friend because I dont give in and give cash.............

It's rude to straight up ask for cash, BUT I would just assume she was young and/or doesn't know any better... put a few bucks in a card. It's not really anyone's "place" to teach her or the BMs correct etiquette, so it best to just lead by example, I think.

I am an older bride, getting married for the first time, with children and a fully stocked home, so I am INSISTING that my friends do not throw me a shower. , and I am simply not registering, and if people want to bring a gift, or cash, or nothing to the wedding that's okay with me.

Nobody said you were a crappy friend because you wouldn't give cash...they said you were rude for your original comment about intentionally finding a tacky gift and now allowing them to be able to return it

"If I did decide to go I would go find the tackiest gift I could find. I would remove all labels I would remove any possiibility of them being able to return it"

Sorry but if I buy you a gift and you return it for cash then there is someone being tacky and it aint me!

That being said we did return some gifts, because they either were not on our registry or something we wanted etc but we got more stuff not cash.

And those sound like lovely gifts to give. If you have a friend telling you "If you can't afford the registry, give us cash" then you should look at who you're surrounding yourself with. Give them something you CAN afford and don't worry about what happens with it later.

And also what Laudie said.

Wow.

I wouldn't go. That's ridiculous.