cash-only bridal shower

I find cash-only showers to be...what's a synonym for tacky? Distasteful. Yep I said it. A shower is mean to "shower them with gifts." If they don't want stuff, they shouldn't have a shower. If you're going to their wedding and bringing cash, why go to the shower and bring cash. Ugh. Sorry. I just saw a post about this on reddit and it blows my mind that anyone would think having a cash shower is appropriote.

However, if I was in your shoes, I would either not go. Or I'd throw $20 in a card and bring it.

Hmmmm...I know you may feel its weird (as do I) to go to a bridal shower only bearing cash in a card, but if its what they want then that's what they should get. I almost feel they would be disappointed to receive anything else other than cash. I say just do what they are asking for, it will make them happy. I would hate for you to go out of our way and put a lot of effort into something that they potentially wouldn't be as happy about.

But as an idea, this pinterest board has really cool ideas on how to give money as a gift. It would be something unique and fun, yet the bride/groom still get their money

http://www.pinterest.com/lad2lap/ways-to-give-money/

If they are looking for honeymoon gifts, maybe you could get her a bathing suit, nice piece of luggage, beach bag (assuming they are going somewhere tropical).

Or maybe get her something wedding related like a cake server or champagne glasses.

So many people are going to ignore that, and get a typical "shower" gift. That is, if they decide to go at all. I agree with Lisa. If you don't want/need "shower" style gifts, then don't let someone go through the trouble of planning one for you.

I personally wouldn't feel comfortable giving cash at a shower. That's no fun!

ETA: Piecesofadream has some good gift ideas in regards to the honeymoon. I would also suggest seeing where they're going (if possible) and see if you can get them a nice dinner, excursion of some kind, dance lessons, etc. Some type of *activity* for while they are on their honeymoon.

Just get something that is suitable for their destination.

If you don't feel comfortable giving them cash, then maybe you could do one of those visa/mastercard/amex giftcards. Regardless of your idea of a fun shower gift - if they asked for cash, whats the problem in giving them what they want?

I know it may seem tacky, but we all know that weddings and honeymoons aren't cheap. If you want to make it into a more entertaining gift, dress it up a bit like Morgan said.

Wow. Just wow. My gift would be my absence from this shower.

LivelyBride - your response made me laugh! There are definitely two camps of thought on this: 1. Give them what they want; and 2. This is distasteful. Although the couple already lives together, I frankly am just surprised that there is literally NOTHING in their home (towels, kitchenware, etc.) that they'd even want to upgrade.

I have no idea where they are going on their honeymoon, but I do like your idea, Piecesofadream, of getting something wedding related. I just found some champagne flutes that might be the perfect gift! Thank you all for your input!!

I would be annoyed/offended if someone invited me to a shower and asked for cash. Like Lisa said, a shower is to be showered with a gift. I would probably decline to attend and only go to the wedding.

As far as champagne flutes/cake servers, my venue includes engraved ones so I wouldn't need them and probably wouldn't have a use for them. As it is, my FFIL and his wife got us champagne glasses for the wedding and I don't know what to do with them!

I've always liked the part of the shower when the bride to be opens the gifts... I prefer to give a gift.

The only time I give cash as a present is for a graduation present. I find giving cash rather distasteful (I'm probably in the minority here). If I give a present, I'd like it to be something they could use - and I'll even give a gift card.

Therefore, if I go to this shower, which I probably wouldn't because a shower without opening presents is awkward, I would give them a gift card to somewhere - maybe Target, maybe Bed,Bath, and Beyond.

I'll be honest I will be in this situation. Fh and I have lived together for 2 years. We don't need or want anything for our house. I don't even want a shower but I'm basically being thrown one. I'm telling everyone not to bring anything and if they feel inclined cash would be appreciated.

I'll be honest if I'm not close to you and go to your shower your getting cash. If I am close to you I would buy off a registry or know something you would want. And if I didn't know I would just give cash..

Not going to lie... I don't see the big deal of giving money. Makes my life easy he cause I just have to go to the bank machine and buy a card. I don't have to go to a store, fight for parking, hopefully find what you want on the registry that's within my budget etc.

Can you make her a wedding day survival kit? I mean, if you know her bridesmaids then make sure they aren't doing one but, it's a unique DIY gift that she will use! Otherwise if you really want to get her a gift, get her a rhinestone bride jacket or something. I wouldn't get anything for her house if she didn't register for anything. Unless it's like monogrammed towels with her and her FH initials. But even then I'd keep the towel colors to something neutral since you don't know the color of their bathroom. Maybe like a light beige?

I wouldn't bring cash gift either. I think that's rude. A friend of mine already had all the household stuff they could need so the host suggested bringing gifts that would allow them to have fun together. So people gave them things like tickets to a baseball game, fancy restaurant gift certificates, games, books on free date idea, bath sets etc. I thought it was a great idea.

Once, I gave plush bathrobes to the couple and embroidered 'Mr.' on one and 'Mrs.' on the other. They loved it. They said they lounge around the house together in them all the time.

It's a little rude but I'd still go and give cash. Some people have the best of intentions but are just oblivious to ettiquette. I have a friend who broke many rules for her wedding. It made me grit my teeth but she meant well. I'd only skip the shower if I felt like the bride had bad intentions or was intentionally being greedy.

Ugh. I would have no problem giving cash, but the fact that she asked for it is what's rude. And in a poem. I hate the idea that if you put it in a cute poem then people won't notice it's rude.

If she honestly has everything she needs, then she shouldnt have a shower. The purpose of a shower is to "shower" the couple with gifts to start off their life together. But if you're close to her, I like the idea of buying something they can use on their honeymoon.

Thanks for the feedback, everyone! I am not close to this person. However, she is a relative of my husband's and thus was invited to my shower as well. As background, she gave me a bottle of wine & an item that was not on either of my two registries.

I would bring a cheap toaster or can opener.

Ok so when I was planning I was super naive and thought not registering and cash was what I wanted. I didn't want to register and ask for gifts because I thought it was rude. We ended up registering because it's actually rude not to register. People want to get you gifts. I wouldn't judge her too hard. I would go and I would get her cash. It is rude, but I really don't think it's a big deal.

@KT-V: Exactly! People take this stuff WAY too seriously.

Responding rudely (bringing a crappy gift etc.) is worse then asking for cash because there is a mean intent.

@Eleanor-I don't think bringing a crappy gift is worse than asking for cash. The whole purpose of a shower is to "shower the bride with gifts". Not to shower the bride with cash! If the bride truly didn't need anything, DECLINE THE SHOWER!

I would give a etiquette book, and made sure I highlighted areas that the bride obviously needed educated on.