cash-only bridal shower

How about making them a honeymoon gift basket? Or a gift certificate to somewhere honeymoon related... A salon to get ready for it ... Somewhere that sells luggage etc

My fiancé works in printing and he does bridal shower and wedding invites constantly and everyone now puts RIGHT on the invite "monetary gifts preferred". i cant even imagine putting that on my invitation. its so tacky and rude.

I don't like this either. I have seen a website called missnowmrs.com. It is a name changing service for $29.95. You could get her a gift card for that.

If you are not comfortable giving cash, that is your choice. Just don' t go.

It's never polite for anyone to dictate what type of present is preferred. It's presumptuous. The gift you give is YOUR choice, not theirs. Granted, it is polite to keep in mind their likes/dislikes and wishes when you give a gift. That's thoughtful and polite.

A long time ago, a friend of mine from undergrad was going on and on...and on...about gifts and cash, always speculating and projecting what she might receive at her wedding. Endlessly calculating--so tiresome. I always give cash but in this instance I purchased sheets as the wedding gift and distanced myself from her. It's such a turnoff when a couple is all about gifts or money.

Hello. For those of us that have found our soulmate at the age of 44, we most likely are established and therefore have a combined household of essentials. This therefore means we don't need excess household items. It doesn't however mean we don't want to bring together friends and family and that a dear friend doesn't want to still give her gf a "shower" as in my case. Have any of you heard or Honeyfund? It's a wonderful and quite tactful way to acquire "gifts" of cash to help with either a honeymoon, or a possible remodel, etc. It is now the year 2015 and therefore cash can be bliss in the right circumstance. In this day and age, the biggest reason to have a shower is to spend time with all the ladies in your life prior to your big day...because you won't have much to spare the day of After all, isn't this about the bride to be and not what catty guests may think? I'm guessing if one has this attitude, maybe they should not be invited and not have to worry about deciding not to come. Let's look at the fact that money is spent for guests of the shower and the wedding that together far outweigh the cost of gifts given. It's a celebration and one should be glad to give a gift of what is needed and not what one presumes is right according to their own taste or opinion.

I was recently asked to hold a bridal shower for one of my life long friends in FL but she now lives in AZ. She is asking that she only recieve cash or gift cards at the shower because otherwise she will have to pay/transport for all of the gifts to go back to AZ for her. In this case, I would think that it should be completely understandable as to why someone would ask for cash or gift cards only!

Wow...I cannot believe some of these comments. Cash only or gift...are they not the same? If the couple needs the money a tangible item would be completely useless. To put a second toaster oven in a cupboard when they have so much to pay for with the wedding, what is the point in that? The ignorance in some of these comments blew me away. To say "I wouldnt go if they asked for cash?" Are these not family or friends that are inviting you to their wedding or celebration?...this is your response to what they need?? Disgusting. I wouldnt want you to come to my shower anyway with that type of mentality. Its not about YOU its about the couple getting married and what THEY need. Wow...wow...wow.

It absolutely amazes me that people think they have the right to call people rude for asking for what they actually need rather than what you believe they need. If the couple in question doesn't want a bunch of random things they likely won't use or things that can be bought by one or two people from a registry, respect that. I am doing a fundraiser for my soon to be sister-in-law so they can make repairs on their house and buy a new vacuum cleaner. I don't see the problem. Wedding gifts are also going to be cash and there is a honeymoon registry. As for the best part of a shower being watching the future bride open gifts, I think that has more to do with waiting to get your own accolades than actually enjoying spending some celebratory time with future family. It is not your shower, not your wedding, not your judgement call.

My fh and I are in this same boat, it's a little disappointing to hear everyone talk about how the bride is "wrong" for asking for cash (that the couple could utilize much more than expensive China that will sit on a shelf for 10 years unused) because they want to purchase a house. It's bad enough a wedding costs an arm and a leg, then to invite all of these so called "friends and family" who are judging the couple for not going register crazy. I think it is more selfish to ask for all new sheets and towels and crap that we already have simply because we're getting married. Are we entitled to only have endless crap, rather than use the cash to help us buy a home and start a family? Because let me tell you, no one wants to start a family in a one bedroom apartment, literally flushing money down the toilet. I understand people fell uncomfortable about giving cash, but when monetary gifts are being asked gor, the amount is not what matters, what matters is that you're not a jersey and bring a can opener. Once again that we don't need because we already have. It's not about selfishness, it's about wanting to build a future after two become one. Try not to be so harsh...

WOW... It sounds like a lot of people are taking their personal biases/ opinions and making it rule of law. While I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinion it is the brides special day... My husband and I did not ask for gifts; nor, did we have a Bridal registry. Instead we asked that our guests donate to their favourite charity. My daughters and Maid of Honor decided to host a Bridal Shower again, I did not register nor request gifts. However, unbeknownst to me, my daughters requested that my guest bring me cigars since I am an aficionado... No one was offended by the request because at the end of the day the event should be about giving the bride what she wants, and not what you think she should have.

Oh my goodness. As a soon to be bride that already has her own home with a fiancé who has his own home. And given we just had a yard sale to sell what we had two of I would say it's safe to say no we really don't need anything. Just before we got engaged I purchased new sheets and towels for myself. So why in the world would I want more. Our parents are not paying for our wedding as they are not in the financial position to do so. So that leaves us paying for our own wedding. For some of these commenters so dead set on gifts you clearly had someone paying for your wedding or you've been married so long you don't know how expensive one is anymore. Even with us keeping our wedding small and not inviting a ton of people the expense is unreal. So why would I want my friends and family to waste there time buying a gift that will likely end up being donated or stuck in a yard sale in a year or two. I only want to be a blessing to my friends and family and if blessing them is a gift of money for the bridal shower or birthday or baby shower than that is what I would do for them. I don't like buying something that someone doesn't need/want. I love knowing I've given a gift that will be most helpful to them and not collect dust on a shelf or in a corner. Do you really think your gift will be remember in a few years anyways...I mean seriously people. I can't tell you a single a gift or who got it for me for me from any of birthdays etc. Be helpful not hurtful.

I totally agree with your points. People don't think about the costs in transporting gifts across the country.

I’m confused...isn’t a shower about what the bride and groom want and need, and not about the guests wants? Why are folks in an uproar and calling this “distasteful “? That sounds more like the guests making it more about themselves and their expectations. Personally it would make my life easier to write a check or put cash in a heartfelt card.
The gift is your time, your love, your support. If they were vulnerable to ask for what they need (ie. we have all the stuff we need....we’d love the experience of a honeymoon, and a cash donation could turn that experience into a reality), why would you by them champagne glasses?

To me it’s like going to a restaurant and asking for a steak, and the waitstaff saying “that doesn’t work for me. You need salmon.”
What?

View Quoted Comment Hear hear!!

View Quoted Comment Giving someone money as YOUR choice is one thing. But when the invite is TELLING you to come empty handed or if you MUST bring a gift, give money. THAT is what is wrong here! Showers were started so others can SHOWER you with gifts. Need them or not. Every woman in a marriage needs things......ALWAYS! And if they don’t Need things, then what about cool personalized items. Upgrades to the inexpensive things you have bought because you didn’t have money, many household items wear out regularly, put THEM on your list. Also......if you NEED money for your wedding/honeymoon, the loved ones that are coming, already using money to help celebrate (hotels, tuxes, dresses, AND money) and your asking for MORE?? Totally totally wrong on SO many levels.
If people WANT to give it, okay, NP, but for goodness sakes, don’t TELL them to.

This is becoming more and more common in my area and in my circle. I don’t see it as tacky for asking for what they want. Which is exactly what a gift registry is. You apparently deciding that they need champagne flutes over the exact gift they asked for is pretty rude to me. But again, I think it depends on your circle.

Just seems everyone’s opinion here is about themselves... if you are willing to spend $25 on the bride/couple’s gift then why is it not ok just to give the $25? As society progresses this causes change in tradition, most couples have been living together and traditional ideas of gifts have changed. I say the bridal shower or the couples shower is about her/them and not the person giving the gift. Why not give your friend/loved ones what they need?? Instead everyone would rather purchase gifts the couple doesn’t need, doesn’t have space for, or doesn’t like... strange idea just because of the gift givers thoughts (ego). If I am giving a gift it isn’t for me and my opinion on what it should or shouldn’t be shouldn’t determine what I am getting for someone else... it’s about that person. Seems logical to share in the joy of helping the new couple reach whatever goal they had whether it be for the honeymoon, the wedding, reception or whatever else. When we GIVE gifts we have to remove our ego, simple.

Our shower is 2,000 miles away from home, so we asked for gift cards and cash so we didn't have to fly with huge numerous packages. Maybe there's a reason they only want cash? I would find out if you could maybe make a donation to their purchases if you don't want to hand out cash.

I would just not go.

View Quoted Comment

thank you I completely 100% agree with this post.