Cash Bar

@Vicki D. Sorry, I actually thought I deleted that part. I typed it and then realized that I shouldn't have said that.

Oops! Definitely deserved to be flagged!

Get a new WC. This one clearly doesn't know what she'd doing.

You don't have a cash bar wedding. Problem solved.

@soontobemrs understood. Sometimes frustrations get the best of us. Thanks for apologizing.

@FB99... cool...

@Vicki D. Absolutely! I have no problem admitting when I am wrong.

Is there a reason why your WC is trying to steer you away from an open bar?

@MsLaurenRenee she just doesn't want us to do the 1 or 2 hours of open bar. She said it just creates a very hectic environment. Which I understand.

She's right. You do it all night.

Holy cow this thread. @SoonToBeMrs I agree with her. It needs to just remain open. I went to a wedding that split open/cash...everyone crammed as much liquor into themselves as they could and it was a hot mess.

This was just what I needed on my lunch hour.

Lurker here! For some reason our venue is having us pay significantly more for the bar and bartender to be at the reception during the final hour (10:30-11:30). Is it going to be a major problem if guests can't get drinks during that time? They will have an open bar for 5 hours before that.

Sorry to piggyback!

If you have a wedding website you can put any additional information on there.

I come from a large family who likes to drink. My immediate family ( Mom dad, even me!, etc) are the family weirdos who don't drink. The last 3 open bar weddings they attended, and my dad is the oldest of 8, I'm one of 18 cousins, no one got trashed, belligerent, had an accident. The worst that happened was my aunt, the MOG, ended up in the pool. But she jumped in on her own free will.

This is family who gets trashed regularly, and multiple trips to the store on beer runs during a 4 hour period are not uncommon.

Don't use people will get trashed as an excuse to not have an open bar. People will still get trashed at a cash bar, it happens regularly in Friday and Saturday nights all over the country.

I really can't take the fake, face saving, sanctimonious reasons for the cash bars anymore. Come on -- you're having a bar, making it available to everyone (including those you're so afraid will vomit, destroy property, fight, and make some kind of scene), but you're not paying for it. So, it's not really about stopping alcoholics or problem drinkers from drinking, despite claims to the contrary. If you believe your problem drinker guests will drink more because the alcohol is hosted, then you need an education. They will not be sidelined just because there's a charge for the alcohol (they're quite used to paying for it)...not in the slightest. So, that logic is fundamentally flawed. Follow the money -- it's always about the money, and it will always be about the money.

Secondly, where are these weddings happening that sound like drunken frat parties featuring rivers of vomit, black eyes, broken glass, and overturned furniture? If these types of people are your friends -- your guests -- then job one should be cutting them out of your life. Every single family wedding I've been to -- and that number is huge -- has a top shelf, open bar, and it begins the moment the cocktail hour starts and ends shortly before the end of the event. These weddings average about 200 guests. Not once...not a single time in the 40 years that I've been attending them...have any of these weddings ended in any kind of scene (the first one was in 1973. The last one was a month ago). This isn't just a reflection of my family's public behavior; it's also a reflection of the public behavior of countless, random families connected to the other side of the couple. No vomiting, no car accidents, no fights, and no destruction of property.

The decision to cut the bar is based on money (and honestly, if I walked into a wedding and saw three foot tall altar arrangements or a $400 swag on their Etsy altar, 10 BMs and 10 GM, two flower girls, a dressed up infant being pulled in a wagon by a tuxed second grader, a bride in a very expensive gown carrying a $260 bouquet, and a professional DJ or musician serenading the crowd, you'd better believe I'm expecting to be hosted with alcohol at the reception). If I'm not, my husband and I will pay for every drink out of our $300 envelope, because once I walk into the wedding, my spending on that event stops cold. Period. Go ahead, tell me I should just stay home...

Here we go.

Cash bars are rude. I don't drink (technically can't anymore. I was told not to by Dr.) And you bet FH and I are still providing open bar for all of our guests! Take up a second job, cut guest list, make cuts somewhere to provide this. Guests won't say anything to your face. They'll talk behind your back. I've seen it. You can think they won't all you want, but no family is tight enough to deal with paying for their alcohol at what's supposed to be a thank you to them.

I am astounded at how people treat their guests. We served beer, wine, bubbly bar, and Bloody Mary Bar. Everyone drank, even the people I have never seen have anything to drink (my MIL for example never drinks but partook of the bar). People drank to their hearts content (don't know if anyone got cut off but that is what the bar tenders are for) and there was no fighting, no vomiting, no drama. The only thing that I did have was everyone on the dance floor because alcohol is a social lubricant. We had almost 200 people at our wedding and are *gasp* Christian. I wish people would just properly host the amount of guests they can afford.

YouCanCallMeDot -- I love your post...especially the "gasp", lol.

GUYS! I've said this before and I'll say it again - I work PT for a wedding caterer for fun money. Changing the bar half way through is SOOO confusing for the guests and even sometimes for the bartenders (who usually don't check the time every 3 minutes). Guests HATE when they just got a free glass of wine and now they have to pay. It's even worse when it's 1 hr open everything, then 1 hr open BWS, and then cash bar. Yikes. DO NOT DO IT. Open bar all night (either everything or at least BWS).

Also - my DH's grandmother called both of us separately to tell us how we shouldn't have alcohol at our wedding and that she was very much against it. We were polite. We listened to her and said nicely, "thank you for your input, but we will make the decision we feel is right for us." CASE CLOSED. IT CAN BE DONE.

Please give your guests alcohol. Thanks.

I'm not having alcohol at my wedding because of personal beliefs . My family understands that and they respect it . I just don't really see the problem in it I guess . I think it is a little wrong to throw a fit because the bride and groom did not provide alcohol . Maybe my opinion is biased but I can have fun and celebrate people without a single drop of alcohol. It's your wedding ! Do what you want as long as it's not crazy.

So you're going to impose your beliefs on others, Genesis?