Cash Bar

The wedding is for the couple. The reception is for the GUESTS. Lol, we say this so many times.

Would you invite people to your house and ask them to pay for their drink? Probably not. So why do it at your reception?

Laughing at "So much for a non-judgmental, culturally sensitive forum." Does it advertise itself as such?

Culturally insensitive would be like if I said "henna is ugly" when it's a big part of bridal beauty in Indian weddings. There's no culture of mistreating your loved ones.

Is being cheap and rude a cultural thing?

ETA: all of you having a cash bar, are you charging your guests for their dinners, too?

Oh Brianna, let me ask you something.

You invite a friend over. She's a really good friend. She steps into your house and notices that you have a bottle of wine on the table. She asks for a glass. You oblige. But right before she gets her hand around the stem you go, "That'll be $5.50". This is a case of PROPER HOSTING.

I assume you are inviting adults to your wedding, no? Adults know how to STOP. Don't assume that because alcohol is served, your guests are getting sloshed. Shame on you for viewing your family and friends that way.

If you hire a bartender, you won't have sloppy guests. You'll have happy ones.

I'm glad OP listened.

@SageTree unfortunately adults do not know how to stop.

If adults knew how to stop, my biological father wouldn't be an alcoholic. My grandmother would be a recovered alcoholic. And many other friends wouldn't be alcoholics or recovering alcoholics.

"Adults don't know how to stop?" ALL adults?

I go to an average of 150 weddings a year. By mid cocktail hour, everyone has some sort of drink and the bars are grinding to an almost halt.

But by all means, punish your adult friends who drink responsibly by making sweeping judgements.

@SoontobeMrs, who is to stop them from bringing in flasks if its dry?! Or pre-gaming? I'd rather have open bar with a licensed bartender who knows when to cut them off.

I take a day off of WW and miss this gem... but good on you OP for taking the advice so graciously! Most, as you see, do not.

@Holly C.

It may not be a regional thing. But it sure seems like it. As I stated before if you attend a wedding in ND most do not have open bars.

And the rush is our only issue we are running into right now. That is why I said we may have an open bar for a while. We aren't quite sure yet as our wedding coordinator is steering us away from it.

SoontobeMrs- Don't categorize all adults as not knowing how to stop just because SOME are alcoholics. Many people know when to cut themselves off, and if not then that's what a bartender is for.

@soontobemrs please don't listen to you WC! An open bar is a great way to thank you guests for attending and preventing them from having to spend any more money on your wedding.

For AA reasons, it is completely acceptable to opt out of a bar. That has been mentioned in the past. However, SoontobeMrs, Brianna did not mention anything regarding alcoholics, and made a blanket statement on all her guests getting trashed on her dime. That is completely rude, and honestly, its in poor taste when there are people that actually suffer from alcoholism out there in this world. But, you can't say that ALL people don't know how to stop. Alcoholism is a disease. I'm very sorry, SoontobeMrs, that you had to deal with the aches and pains of watching people you love with that disease.

We probably won't drink at my wedding either but I AM STILL SERVING ALCOHOL because my guests will enjoy themselves more.

I have specific tastes in music but told the DJ TO PLAY WHATEVER KEEPS PEOPLE DANCING because my guests will enjoy themselves more.

I am having several cakes as a dessert table and have ONE GUEST who is gluten free. I'll also have fruit and other desserts but will get a gluten free cake because I want her to enjoy some kind of cake.

You see a pattern? I'm planning for my guests to enjoy themselves as much as possible. I know my guests drink, only 50% do but why would I not let them drink? I don't have trashy people who destroys the place, puke or break things. We are all adults.

But...it's just.....how do you invite people to a party and then ask them to pay for something? You just can't do that.

My sons' first birthday party is in a few months. I bet if I made a post on here saying I was thinking of charging them for drinks, people would say it was rude and not to do it, because who goes to a birthday party and gets charged for a drink?

So why is it ok at your wedding? Why does all reasonable behavior suddenly go away because it's a wedding? It's still a party! A party that YOU are hosting. When you host, no matter what it is, your guests shouldn't have to pay for anything. I'd rather go to a dry wedding than a cash bar wedding, cause at least you aren't trying to make me pay for your party.

@SoontobeMrs, I got married (and attend many weddings) in various states with licensed bartenders who will cut people off. I was just stating dry could get worse because there will be no bartender to asses the situation. That is a bartenders job, when they notice someone is toast, to cut them off.

Step One: Get Engaged

Step Two: Talk Budget

Step Three: Select Venue

Step Four: Write out guest list based on how many you can host with what food/OPEN BAR is at said venue.

Step Five: Everything Else.......

@FB99

Good for you!! Your guests will enjoy it. I'm not saying that people from the area just don't do it at all. I'm saying that it's not as common.

And I agree about the open bar being confusing. My FH is the one that wants it. I don't and our wedding coordinator doesn't like it as well.

@soontobemrs uhhh you definitely cannot tell us to "shut the fuck up".

Flagged.

Don't worry Paige. They'll be another one tomorrow.