Cash Bar

@Celia. A lot of churches don't even allow wine, beer, or even champagne. That is just how it is. I found that out when I was looking into reception venues. I see no problem with someone having a glass or two of wine, or a beer or two, but I don't think liquor is necessary at a wedding.

@Keke, Totally agree with you. 95% of people coming to my wedding don't drink anyway. If the other 5% do not want to come because we will not be having an open bar, then that is their choice. FH's mother is an alcoholic. She does not drink anymore, except she did have a beer a few weeks ago and FH was very upset and hurt. That is part of why we will not be having alcohol. I will still be properly hosting my guests without having a bar.

I honestly literally drink about 6 alcoholic drinks a year. Usually it's at weddings or parties. Your guests will be disappointed.

You guys can try to convince me that cheaping out on serving your guests fully is valid, but I'm not going to buy what you're selling. It's rude.

I don't drink much. I can have an excellent time without alcohol. But ya know what? I'm not an asshole, the world does not revolve around me, and what is good for me is not the only damn thing that matters here. Have some respect for your guests and have booze.

Sharon, rule #2.

Your 5% will be very disappointed. But you don't care.

Holy shit I'm so glad I caught up on this. This is an absolute shit show

Isn't "have a blessed day" a more genteel way of saying, "$%^%@%^ you?"

@celia that's how my family uses that phrase!

Wow. Every time someone says "your guests shouldn't be there to drink" or "they should be there to support me." I want to check their age. It's like trying to flip the tables of an argument because you know you are wrong but don't want to admit it. Making your adult guests sound like drunk toddlers... it's like Centerpiece said. It's about money.

No matter how you excuse it or justify it.. it does not take that red scarlet of "bad host" away.

You can say "if you need alcohol at a wedding your priorities are screwed up" all you want... but .... at the end of the day, no matter how you try to flip that table, and paint a bad guest, the end will show your character, and priorities. You will be labeled as a shitty host. As a classless host. As a greedy host. All because you failed to follow the simple rule of etiquette. The reception isn't about you anymore. It's about celebration of love and life for all! There are very FEW religions that prohibit alcohol. And only a limited amount of circumstances where it is understandable, and okay.

It's etiquette. ETA: and don't even think about mixing a cash bar with a honeyfund jar!

I think a lot of times people forget (or don't know/care) that the reception is the party that you're throwing to thank your GUESTS. The wedding and the reception really are two different things. I can understand why people wouldn't want to provide alcohol during their ceremony. But no alcohol...at a party??? Those are typically lame. Most people are actually capable of having fun without drinking but why would you want to force that on your guests? Why would you want to host a lame party?

Cut your guest list so that you can offer your guests some form of alcoholic options. I understand that you and your fiancé do not drink and that is your choice. However, your choice should not be imposed onto guests that you are hosting.

You know, I find it interesting that religion, specifically the particular denomination mentioned in this thread, is so often cited as the reason a couple refuses to serve wine at their wedding. I wonder, do any of these couples live together or engage in sexual activity together (regularly or occasionally)? I don't know about the ladies on this thread, but I know for a fact that I've read posts from women who have, on other threads, said that they live with their SOs. Then, when the thread is about serving alcohol at a wedding, there they are -- using the issue of conscience as their reason for not serving it.

All things considered, I think the New Testament has some very strong words about premarital sex; in fact, those words are much more definitive than any words about serving wine at a celebration. Call me ignorant, but it seems like the free sin is far more tempting than the sin with a bill attached to it.

And that's why I say, follow the money.

@Centerpiece you hit the nail on the head, as usual.

The New Testament has some weird rules in it. Do you really follow them all? I find that hard to believe. So why don't you just admit it's money?

We had a dry wedding because we don't drink. We spread the word through word of mouth. No one complained, and everyone had a great time.

Don't do a cash bar. Easier to just not provide. they can go somewhere afterwards and get drunk.

@Private User - No one complained to your face.

So many bad hosts coming out in the woodwork on this thread!

Yes, religion is convenient, isn't it? You can follow it when it suits your purpose and ignore if you want to shack up. Conscience is kinda the same. It's selective based on whim.

Guess what? If you wear mixed fabrics you're already ignoring a law of the bible. But that would be inconvenient wouldn't it.

**No one complained to you

To the PPs saying they won't provide due to being Christian, that's a load of crap. Every Christian I know (even FH) drink alcohol, and tons of it. They are pretty strict with everything else but alcohol. You can be pissy at me all you want, but you're just being selective on what sins you want to create on yourself. And seriously, it would go against your conscience? You wouldn't even be drinking it? In what way is that going against your conscience? ETA: sorry @Celia I basically copied you by accident lol also forgot words.

What I makes me laugh most about using Christianity as an excuse to not serve alcohol is that the Christian religion does not condemn drinking! FFS, Jesus turned water into wine so a WEDDING reception could keep on going.

I need a glass of wine.