Cash Bar

Not only did Jesus turn water into wine, he turned it into exceptional wine, so exceptional that people commented. Usually the best wine was served first and then when people got drunk they would switch to the cheap stuff. The wine Jesus made was better than the best stuff the bride and groom were serving.

What makes me laugh most is that this thread is still holding strong.

@Dot, maybe every time we see a cash bar post, we can just ask the OP "What would Jesus do?" Because it is pretty damn obvious he'd serve them some fine ass wine.

OP, be more like Jesus.

I am a strong Christian. FH and I do not live together, etc. but I like wine occasionally and plenty of people i know do. My point was that if the venue does not allow alcohol, then it is a completely different story. I am not using a church but when I looked at those in the area for options, they all said no alcohol. If someone were to use that venue, would that make them a "terrible host," even if it was not about the money?

Yes. You don't commit to a venue for any party or event that will not let you host to a minimum standard. Cross county lines, have a DW, do something else. There are always options.

Does it make you a terrible host? No -- it makes you the host of a dry reception. If you want a party, then you'd be well advised to seek another venue that does allow alcohol service. I don't understand couples who spend five figures on an affair, but they leave out the primary party element. I know, we're going to hear, yet again, about the blast somebody had at a lemonade reception, and how the dance floor was on fire. Sure. Poor DJ, I always feel sorry for them because they bear the responsibility of keeping a dry wedding reception going, and that's not easy to do.

What makes you a poor host is the dangling of a cash bar in the faces of your guests. That's flat out rude. It says, "We want the party the alcohol provides, but we're not going to pay for it, so guests, the bar is this way -- right around the corner from our card box and gift table. Get out your wallets...again. Oh, and if you have a problem with it, you obviously don't love us and you don't belong here."

Wow scrolling through these comments... so many people that are proud of breaking etiquette

Bump

I don't know where your from but in the uk cash bars aren't rude and the expected thing. We will provide a reception drink wine for the table and a toast drink then after that the guests pay for whatever drinks they want! I find it strange and ridiculous that you'd be expected to pay for everyone's drinks all night!

Yeah the whole being Christian thing is bogus. Um, Jesus turned water into wine. Many Christian churches have communion (news flash the blood of christ is called communion WINE). When my mom stopped drinking she even stopped taking communion. We're having an open bar, with non-alcoholic choices (sparking cider and non-alcoholic wine). Host people properly.

My dad isn't the easiest person and honestly I wasn't sure what was gonna happen when we started planning and showing what the budget is. Without my mom around it's hard to know anything. I thought he was going to tell me to elope and be done with it. I'm glad that he came around and is helping with the wedding but there are things we have to do. He gave me certain months that worked for him and dates. We originally were looking at 2017 but the only month that worked was may which was to close by for me since I wasn't sure about a bridal party or anything. So then it was 2018. He is apart of an organization for charity and his year to do a lot of stuff is 2018 so may was out. Which is the cheapest month. He owns a business so certain other months that are off season for weddings is when he can be busy. So we had June but only two saturdays to pick, September and October which was even more money than June because of foliage

I did ask the venue and they said an est of $18 a head for beer and wine is that average? I don't drink but a know a few people who won't stop and I don't really know how much drinks go for.

$18 a head is very reasonable. My venue is on the very affordable end for my area, yet they charge a minimum of $36 per person to keep it open for the reception. We are doing cocktail hour only.

FH and I had the same thought, while we both drink we were unsure of how much we really wanted to spend on alcohol... we have opted to do a bar tab of $2,000 and once that limit has been reached the bar will convert to a cash bar. It has become the norm for weddings to have open bars, years ago all weddings had cash bar. If you and your FH do not drink I do not see providing a bar for guests. It's your day! Don't spend money on something you don't even enjoy. Put that money toward something else

John 2:1-11

Boom! Jesus! Wine! Wedding!

Didn't read all the comments

OP on your invitations or wedding website just state "non-hosted bar"

Can people tell me how much per person your estimated to spend on alcohol id rather look at the higher side when I play with the budget. So any numbers you have would def help. I know one person said $36. I feel like $18 is low and I don't want to under estimate to find out last minute we need to get more money

Wonder how many people are taking out a 2nd mortgage and loans just to impress some people who will come to your wedding, drink all your liqour, and still talk cap about your "amazing" wedding. Yall too funny!

@sagetree weddings aren't about alcohol. If a friend comes to my house yes she can have wine. Those two situations really can't be compared because they are very different. It is not my responsibility to get 200 people drunk. They are coming to celebrate love, not for a free meal and alcohol. My fiancé is a recovering addict, along with many people in our family, and we are not having alcohol just freely flowing all night for a variety of reasons. Previous open bars at weddings involving my family have not ended well. I don't understand why this is such a huge issue. People can do what they want to do. It doesn't make me classless or rude because I decide to have different things at my wedding than you do. If people want to leave, they can leave. Weddings show you who your true friends are anyways!

To everyone saying "my budget is too small to host my loved ones properly". FH and I cut our guest list to 40 people and those nearest and dearest to us are going to have the most amazing food and as many free drinks as they want.

It's about knowing what's important to you. When excuses like the above are made, it means you are more important to you than your friends and family.