Cash bar

Melissa, because the price drastically is higher where I live. We paid several thousand JUST for the cocktail hour. Someone else mentioned $400? That paid for just the wine we provided on the tables. Because of this, I have never been to a open bar in Alberta. *cost was based on 90 people, only about 45-50 of them drank alcohol.

Here is an article if anyone is interested (back from January): http://www.calgarysun.com/2016/01/03/as-alberta-oil-plummets-alcohol-climbs-to-priciest-in-canada

I know people say, cut your guest list, don't buy a fancy wedding dress etc. We literally cut everything we could and having an open bar was still not possible, and we make more than the average household. Ok, so all of Alberta - elope. No, I think if anything there could be a pocket of culture here that accepts cash bars because people in Alberta still want traditional weddings.

All of this being said, I am NOT arguing you should have a cash bar. You shouldn't. You should provide as much as humanly possible, you should cut your budget on everything else, and you should cut down your guest list.

I'm not a big fan of dry weddings, but there are some understandable reasons for having one. For instance, I wouldn't go to an LDS wedding and expect to be served alcohol. However, cash bars are rude and tacky. I would rather have no bar than a cash bar. I probably wouldn't have cash on me, or I wouldn't have the money to spend because I just spent a bunch of money to attend the wedding and buy a gift. Then I would just be annoyed that there were drinks in front of me that I couldn't have. I'm having a beer, wine, and champagne bar because my venue doesn't allow liquor. People will still be happy with that, and it really doesn't cost that much, especially if you buy the alcohol yourself. I may not be able to have fancy invitations or a ton of flowers, but I think my guests will appreciate the bar more. And I'm going to appreciate the bar too! If you absolutely cannot provide alcohol because your budget is that small, then just have a dry wedding. At least then you're not being tacky.

I can't wait to party at my open bar wedding this weekend. I will drink for all of these cash bar weddings guests!

Cash bars are very common in my family and social circle...BUT I still have never thought they were ok. If I find out it is a cash bar I leave right after dinner. I have never understood why so many people find it acceptable to ask guests to fund any part of their wedding.

LadyMonk- who did I berate that wasn't talking about cash/open bars? Did I misunderstand your post or is that what you are saying I did?

Also-if you look back, suggestions are given about how to provide booze the entire within a budget. NO ONE is saying the only way to properly host is to have a top shelf open bar for five hours. We are saying don't ask your guest to pay for anything at any point during your hosted event. Because it is rude to do so.

And to Matt--I read your post and wanted to stand up in my office and start a slow clap. YES. YES. YES, exactly. FH and I are doing the same thing.

GymRat-when I come to NYC next, can I text you? I wanna get a beer with you something awful.

@ LadyMonk - I properly hosted my guests at my wedding. All I said previously was that I've been to a lot of weddings that have been cash bars and would rather pay for my drink than have no drink at all. What irks me is people using the excuses that people don't know how to control themselves while drinking at weddings.

I don't think it's a big deal. I've been to many weddings that do a cash bar; I and all other guests have been good with it. I think you should do what feels right for you. If your guests have an issue with it that's on them.

YES @Beutivant!!! LOL

I don't drink beer BUT I can drink a mean margarita LMAO

Strawberry Margs on the rocks with a sugar rim are my favorite!!

@Fall Bride YEP! She's probably having a Jack and Jill too. I learned about that last week!

@Marissa - if he was against anything else would you not allow that as well? I mean, how far are you going to let someone else's religious views dictate how you plan on being a proper host?

As far as the "alcoholics" in your family - they are adults. If your Aunt is really an alcoholic, do you really think having a dry wedding is going to stop her from drinking? She'll just bring her vodka in a Poland Spring bottle.

Those 10-14 people you mentioned who would drink - WILL. They'll leave early and head to the nearest bar. The party will be over before it began - those high school friends of yours will probably be the funnest bunch in your entire wedding. Especially with "upturned noses".

I gotta ask: what else is this man of the cloth dictating for you and your marriage?

Oooh yaaaaaaay!!

I've only been to one wedding where I got wasted - and it was a blast!

I'm having a mid-day Sunday wedding, and I'm still planning to buy $1-2k in alcohol.

Beutivant, I was just responding to your comment "HAHA. WE are rude? ... HA again! And then you want to call US rude??" I didn't mean that you were berating anyone! Just that it's a forum and I guess I've been around for too long and I am just not surprised about the flying rudness. lol. I didn't word my response very well, sorry!

Forks and knives aren't really in our budget, but they will be there for $5 each. If guests can't enjoy their food without them, well then that's on them! Besides, this is OUR day so they can just leave if they have a problem with that.

OG Ruth, Oops, I think I even saw your BAM before, lol. When we were planning ours the WW consensus was that cash bar was better than no bar.

I completely thought of my guests when planning our day. We are having an abundance of good appetizers, drinks flowing and an awesome surf and turf dinner. I also having extras like a candy bar and wine favors for our guests. I wanted to make the reception one of the best people have been to and have a good time. I would of pushed the date back had I not been able to do so.

Drink tickets cause pandemonium and make the reception more about trading tickets, searching for tickets and hitting up the people for unused tickets than about the moments and memories. It is also a pain in the rear for the bartenders (they have to tally up the drinks). I coordinated one wedding that did this - do you know how many times I had guests ask me for more tickets because they lost theirs, they set theirs down on the table and they got taken, that they were family and deserved more than two tickets all night?

Providing wine on the table for self service is illegal in most states. And even if it isn't or you have licensed and insured staff serving it, you still have to rent wine glasses to serve it in.

Switching to a cash bar at a certain time or when a certain cap has been reached slows down the entire night, creates more havoc for the bartenders and guests and is just confusing as all heck. Again I had one wedding do this and the number of guests complaining that they didn't get a drink before it switched, or they claimed they were in line when it switched were ridiculous.

If you are providing your own alcohol and not a licensed and insured bartender to go along with it you better do your research - it may be illegal and you will need to get event insurance that includes an alcohol clause. And for those that are doing this and are worried about drunk guests, they will be, and you will be liable. Most people don't know how to properly make a mixed drink or pour a proper serving of beer or wine.

No worries at all @LadyMonk. I love the snark of this forum. It's actually one of my favorite things. I thought that PP calling all of America entitled and rude was a bit much, but whatevs. My stance this whole time has been, do what you want, but just own up to what you are doing. All I am saying is don't justify being a bad host. Just scream from the rooftops, "I can't afford to host my guests. It sucks, but it is what it is and I hope people won't talk about me later." To that I would be like, "ok. there you go." It's the excuses to why it's ok that I just can't get behind.

@Beutivant yasssssssss! EXACTLY! (sorry for yelling lol)

O&S: damn, you spend a lot of time on WW don't you?! I couldn't recall your name if I tried but you remember a thread I had up for 10mins, hahaha.

I removed it because people thought I meant organic food, when I was simply referring to a color scheme. Also, people seemed to be offended at me mentioning our ages (when I simply used it as a precursor for conversation). If I had known you ladies were so easily offended (insecure?), maybe I wouldn't have mentioned my age. I didn't know simply being alive could be so offensive!