Cash bar

Lauren, I kinda get where you are coming from, but then I think again and I am like, 'nope'. If you can't afford to host me, don't invite me. For a wedding FH and I are going to in September, I have to take three days off from work, buy a plane ticket, rent a car, spend two nights in a hotel and get a gift. Between the money I'd be missing from work and all the above I listed, we are talking just over $2000 for the two of us. If I get there and can only have two Mich Ultras over the course of a 6 hour event, yeah, I am gonna be pissed. So, maybe pulling a few bucks out of my gift envelope makes sense. This is not something I have ever done, but I have also never been to a wedding where I have to pay for a drink, so it never crossed my mind until WW. I'm not saying I would, but when you consider everything, I am not saying I wouldn't either....

What annoys me? Is that any disposable aspect of a wedding (100 extra guests, photobooth, favors, STD's, programs, a fabulous expensive dress, a giant bridal party) trumps even the most basic bar.

That annoys me.

@LadyMonk

I am from Canada, I guess this is where we differ. In which case, I don't need to worry about your social "norms"...Which I don't think are very normal but hey... to each their own

I guess at this point I am happy to be in a place where things are expected to be handed on a silver platter... Weddings are meant to be a celebration with Family and Friends, not demands made by guests for free things. I realize some people cant afford alcohol, but honestly, if you can't have fun with friends and family sober... I feel like that's a bigger problem.

@Beutivant I never said I was having a cash bar... you just assume which I feel like a lot of people DO on here without knowing everything.

what I am saying is ... I as a good friend would not bash someones wedding because I had to "open my wallet"...and I certainly would not think that they were a bad host for it

Like i said, I guess I just come from a place where people don't expect everything.

As for drink tickets.. I certainly wouldn't turn up my nose at 2 free drinks and say "heavens no... how tacky of them!"

ETA See posts above for all conclusion jumpers

#'murica... the home of the entitled and rude

HAHAAHAHAHAHAAH Haley... me and you both...

Faye, I'm from Alberta, I just assumed you were American since most on here are. What part of Canada are you from?

Faye? If a good friend invited me to a cash bar wedding, I"d seriously consider why I was friends with them.

And I'd stay home. And then unfriend them.

Oh, and btw, we had an open bar for cocktail hour, wine on the tables, and a CASH BAR in the evening. But our prices are ridiculously higher than in the states.

Ugh, maybe if we all stop commenting on the Cash bar, honeyfunds, etc. They'll go away. Can we make a pact?

Marissa? You're a white knight. There is simply no reason not to have a dry wedding. For any reason. Unless all your guests are aliens and vodka would make them melt.

Ignorance is bliss? lol.

Personally, I think it's entitled and rude to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on a dress, flowers, hair, make up, décor, a ceremony, etc for your "vision" but still expect your guests to pay for a drink (on top of travel, hotel, their own attire, gifts, showers, rental cars, missed work, etc).

But that must just be my backwards American thinking again, how silly.

HAHA. WE are rude? You are the one justifying being a bad host and WE are rude? Laughable. And maybe YOU aren't having a cash bar, but the fact that you think it is okay and are telling other brides here that is... HA again! And then you want to call US rude??

Melissa, I disagree. Canada is a HUGE country and it is not the same over the entire country. Liquor is regulated provincially. It is not the same.

I'm still trippin' on drink tickets. DRINK TICKETS?!

Beutivant, this IS an online forum... It's not rude to have a discussion. It's rude to go up to someone that wasn't talking about cash/open bars and then to berate them. That is not the same thing.

GymRat, yes it's embarrassingly common where I'm from. It happens at company Christmas parties to weddings.

Celia: it's our minister. Now, we can toss the guy, uninvited him and his wife (who happen to be FHs sister and brother in law), along with our flower girl (their daughter), and hire another officiant (500-1000 bucks), then have our open bar! And I'm sure no one will be offended with that (we have 60 people at our wedding, about 30 of them FH's family).

Also, FHs father is a recovering alcoholic. My aunt, complete alcoholic still. My mother and father don't drink. We're having 10 kids at our wedding.

So let's see, that's leaves an open bar for about 14 ppl, at risk of also offending all of FHs family and having some stranger marry us we have no respect for.

Maybe I should go for that so I meet WW standards, since you guys have got the whole thing down to a science and know what's best for every wedding

ETA: don't get me wrong, we would have the open bar if not for Andy telling us he couldn't marry us if there was alcohol being served. I was bitter about it at first, especially because we'd already paid our damn deposit for it, which we should be getting back soon. But as time has gone on, I'm realizing it's probably BETTER for our wedding to cut out the alcohol. There will be too many upturned noses (our family is super religious), and really we'd only be serving 10-14 people from highschool. So, oh well

Jeanne--THANK YOU. All the stuff for my guests come first. If something was to happen and, let's say I lose my job for being on WW all day, and I can't afford the wedding we have planned so far, the stuff for me and FH is what goes first. I may have nothing else, but an open bar and awesome food and entertainment aren't going anywhere. Period.

@GymRat, my grandfather mentioned drink tickets to me the other day. I laughed SO hard. He had no idea that it was in poor taste. Although, the old fellow is 73...he's concerned about people drinking too much and us being held responsible. Things have changed since they got married in 1964.