Candace Cameron Bure /submissive wife

I would imagine that if you are married, there should be a number of things where you guys are in agreement. As such, if my husband catches our future children smoking, any punishment he gave for that would be one I'm in agreement with (crazy example, I know, but I'm just saying.)

Or even the other day, his mother asked him if he wanted this chandelier that she was no longer using. It was one he knew I didn't want and one that he also didn't like, so he can easily say "No, thanks" without consulting me. That sort of thing.

Not really sure if that helps either argument, really, just saying, I think this is what's meant by one person making the decisions -- most should be decisions either of you could make for both, I would think...

@ Ab Z I don't think there is much of a difference. I think it is merely clarifying what the motives should be. An equal partnership can go 2 ways. In the first, you both voice your opinions, but both of you are trying to get what you want. In the second, both of you voice your opinions, but ultimately want what is best for the other person. This is not at all to say that non-Christians do not act in this way, it is just explaining how it is supposed to work from a Christian perspective

@ CeCe thanks for the recap! And that is why I don't have a problem with the word submissive in the original way it was intended

@Shannon.

Again I repeat, I am a Christian and I have never been taught that your way of thinking is how I should live my life. Not all Christians believe in this practice.

Okay that helps clarify things. Though I do think an equal partnership doesn't mean looking out for number one but rather wanting the best for the family unit. Yea I think "submission" is what has people up in arms here.

Way to open a can of worms DJ Tanner! lol

@superman bride just because you never learned it doesn't mean it isn't the Christian teaching. I went to catholic school and did not learn this teaching until I began studying as an adult and looking into teachings on marriage. It is in the bible. You can choose to follow it or not. A lot of Christians don't believe in every single Christian teaching, that doesn't mean they aren't christian teachings

Frankly, I get REALLLY tired of people quoting the bible to prove that their chosen path (whatever that is) is "Godly". The Bible also says that you won't wear mixed fabrics; I don't see anyone trotting that out to prove a point.

If you want to be submissive, be submissive, (whatever that means). If you want to kick some ass, go do it. I'm sure the Bible had scripture to back you up in either case. But seriously, your marriage is almost like a third person in the relationship. You always do what's best for 'it', no matter who backs down in a differing viewpoint.

Haha, on your bike love.

Nope, not going to wash.

Actually I once asked my -mass twice on a Sunday Granny about being 'submissive' even if you take it to be just 'meek' (which isn't the dictionary definition so she can't go around just changing what a word means just to fit her idea, find another a word) she looked at me like I had grown 3 heads.

I have issues when people say stuff like this and try to back it up with religion when really it is their personal choice

There is one President.... and a whole butt ton of Senators and Congresspeople...

I think someone forgot how the checks and balance system works...

It is a choice BECAUSE of religion, not a choice and then backed up by religion. Religion itself is the choice

And some things in the bible, like mixed cloths, tattoos, or not eating pork were for a reason at the time. Even divinely inspired word was written by humans, and you have to look at the historical context to understand some things like that. This particular teaching, however, is one of the most important teachings in my faith. So of course I'm going to use the bible to back it up. If you aren't religious, cool. Then this article isn't for you

@mallory - it's not a Catholic principle. it IS a biblical principal.

@Celia - I get reeeeeeally tired of people dismissing my beliefs and assuming that they know everything about what i believe. I am not judging anyone's differing opinions. please don't judge mine.

I never said they weren't christian teachings. I'm saying in my faith, we were never taught this. And I have been to pre-marriage bible study and we have had conversations about this very subject. My lutheran faith believes that when you are married, two become one and work as a whole. We are never taught to be "submissive".

The way your explaining it to the world, on a public forum, probably makes people think that all Christians believe in this. I'm correcting you and saying that not all of us do. Either take it how it is, or don't. But don't twist my words when I never twisted yours.

Yes it is in the bible, but is a personal choice on how literal you take it.

Kate- whatever do you mean?

It's backed by religions because that is the choice they believe in.....If I didn't belong to the religion then I wouldn't follow the practices and therefore use the scripture to "back it up".

@Mallory Abroad..I agree. It's confusing to me when people use their own definitions of things or opinions as absolutes. I think that's why I got confused. I'll stick with Webster.

@Mallory - basically what Superman is saying. That not all Christians are taught this principle. That doesn't mean it's not Biblical. Catholicism is very different from Baptist which is very different from Pentecostal, etc.

Kate, I wasn't dismissing your beliefs at all, and I didn't judge you. I know nothing about them and that wasn't really part of the discussion. I'm glad you have them and that they work for you. If they make your life more rich, then it's all working the way it should.

I just get tired of people using the bible to proof text what they've come to as their belief system. You can use it to argue for and against all kinds of things, from slavery to pork, to revenge.

Believe it or not, I'm a Christian. I submit to no one except God.

Don't Christians in general use the bible to argue for there being a God?

I'm just saying, anyone anywhere is going to use any available evidence to argue for their belief. I know the bible gets ridiculously distorted on a daily basis, but this whole conversation, about what happens within the confines of someone else's marriage, is hardly a terrible "distortion" (because it may not be a distortion at all) of the bible.

I agree with a wife being submissive. It doesn't mean being a door mat but knowing the position of your husband. We submit everyday to something. Whether it be our boss, the law, IRS, government etc. Submission should not be foreign to us. When your husband respects you, he won't take advantage of your submission. And if he does, he is the problem, not the word.

Having read all of these comments, can someone offer me a rational, well-thought-out argument as to why I should submit to a man -- WITHOUT quoting any religious beliefs?

(And yes, I read the entire article and have read similar articles in the past.)

@winnipeg - i can try. please know that i understand that this is not how everyone thinks, but i'll try to explain why our marriage works this way ...

i kind of said this before, but when my husband and i make a decision, it is based on what is best for our marriage, not on what is best for us as individuals - sometimes this is mutually exclusive and sometimes it's not. does he say "i hate that paint color and you will NOT paint the dining room that way"? of course not. but if he says he doesn't like the paint color, why would i want to paint the dining room a color he doesn't like?

another example: i really want new cabinets in our kitchen, but we don't need them. if he would rather save that money to use on a larger future home projects or vacation because he thinks that would be more beneficial to our marriage, then that's great and i'm on board.