Candace Cameron Bure /submissive wife

It's blocked at my work so I can't see what she's said. However, I will state my opinion on being a submissive wife. I might get a lot of hate for this, but I think the reason my first marriage didn't work is because I wasn't as submissive as I should have been. I truly believe God created the man to be the head of the household and relationship. I didn't trust my ex husband to be that leader, therefore, I behaved as the leader. That caused a lot of friction. This time around, I found a man I trust. I trust his decisions and that he will lead our family in the direction we are to go. If you've ever tried to do it on your own as a woman, you'll learn that God didn't create women to be the sole provider or leader of a family. Can it work? Some do. But I believe differently. For me, I believe that it is our role as a wife and mother to trust our husbands and to allow them to be men. I probably won't check back on this thread because I don't want to argue. Good day, everyone!

As a Christian woman I know what she is trying to say. And though several women have recently starting taking it out I still intend to have my vows say "to love and obey".

If you don't know the christian faith then please don't start jumping to the conclusions, yes the bible says wives should be submissive to their husbands....but it also says that husbands should treasure and build up their wives. A married couple is supposed to be a team, with the husband as the mouthpiece who ideally should listen to his wife's advice and support her in everything. It is not meant to put women down in any way, the issue is that several people twist the passages to read it that way.

What a way to start off a Monday morning, Champagne!

I saw an interview with her. I think submissive isn't the right word. I do think there is a leader of every family. We all know families with a strong matriarch or patriarch. Most everyone defers to that person. I don't think that takes away from a partnership. I think it is part of it.

If you think about it, you have dominant/submissive relationships all the time. Boss to worker. Teacher to student. Cop to the driver that is pulled over. The list goes on and on.

I think regardless of a title used there is generally a stronger person in each relationship so every aspect of that relationship. So long as any choice is truly a choice rather then demanded/guilted and if works for both parties why should anyone judge?

I think Leanne just hit the nail on the head.

I also wanted to add that I am as independent as they come, so being submissive didn't always come naturally to me. I guess it still doesn't. But God has called me to be a wife, so submit to my husband, I must. I trust that my FH will keep me the center of his heart and mind when making decisions because he has shown me nothing but that throughout our relationship. I SHOULD have looked for that the first time around. But I didn't. It's not that I just "let" FH do whatever he wants because it doesn't work that way. FH always asks me what I want and does his best to do just that. Like the others said, it is a team. But ultimately, FH is the leader of this house and this family. I've been a single parent for five years and I am so thankful God sent me a strong man.

Religion or no religion, I know exactly what she's saying. One person is the head of a household, the other is the deputy. One person is the leader, the other is the assistant. One person is the president, the next in line is the Vice President. My husband and I are almost always on the same page, and even if we're not, it's not like I do whatever he says, we compromise agree on it... BUT I always let him have the last word. He makes every decision with my best interest at heart, which is why I trust him to be the President of our partnership. He needs to feel like the man of the house in order to be the man of the house; he has a mental and emotional strength about him that I respect and love him so much for; it doesn't make me any less of a person to see something in my husband that I don't possess. He has it, and therefore, he will carry the torch.

Submissive was probably the wrong word to use since it has negative connotations, but I totally get what she's saying and agree.

I want DH to run the household, with my input of course, but I want the main burden to be his. I'll support him, stand by him, and contribute, but ultimately I trust him to do what's right for us (and he does).

My pastor did his service at my wedding on this subject and everyone complimented the service he did more than ANYTHING i did at my wedding because he explained the whole scenario and how to apply it to everyone's marriage - Christian or not. Ex: My great-uncle, who has been married 3 times, literally shook the pastor's hand during the reception and thanked him for teaching him something, and my great uncle is not Christian or religious in any way.

my husband and i are Christians, and as Paris and Tatiana explained, my husband wants to bear the burdens and take care of the hard stuff. he is the Christian leader in our home and he is always going to do what is best for 1) God, 2) me, 3) his child and then 4) himself

honestly? i think that if you don't understand this concept (which Perez Hilton obviously does not) you shouldn't judge. I understand why on the surface it sounds like YOU JUST DO WHATEVER YOUR HUSBAND SAYS!?!? but that's not it at all. not even a little bit

Jesse's Girl I second everything you said and I totally agree. And I to am independent but I also except the fact that my husband is my husband I will be his wife.

I am a Christian woman and I completely agree with her and hope that no one condemns this... But a lot of people use this out of context, the bible does say submissive and the obey thing too but people leave out that it says the same for a man to his wife. The bible is showing that this is a team and love is a decision/choice. I used to not believe that and hated when my dad would tell me to choose to love someone (in a husband situation) but now I understand. My husband will disappoint me and I will him but I choose to love and respect him regardless and he will choose the same for me. I have decided to never deny him love or respect whether he makes me mad, sad, happy or joyful because I am his team mate, I will be submissive to him as he chooses to live in God's light and he will do the same for me.

People also see this as obeying a man no matter what but it's meant for wives to obey their husband as he leads a Godly household, not to obey him to make his sandwich, rub his feet and shutter when he demands something. That's where he is supposed to be submissive to her. He is to take care of her, protect her and value her.

I totally agree with Jesse's girl! I can't read the link either because it is blocked at work, but I have had to learn about the responsibility of being submissive as a soon to be wife. I was a single mother for several years, and it was very hard for me to let someone else come in and kind of "take over" because I was used to being the boss. My fiancee and I struggled a lot in the beginning because of it. I prayed that he would change, but then I realized that if I wanted it to work, I needed to change. Men are designed to provide and protect. And if they aren't allowed to do that, then they dont really have a purpose. There can only be one true leader, and like Tatiana said, next there is an assistant, or VP or whatever. Only one person can run the show. Of course the President has an advisor and things like that, but there can only be one.

I agree with what she said.

It's hard when you've grown into this "independent woman". I think the word submissive just has negativity surrounding it. But she does state that she means submit in terms of a biblical sense. I think a lot of marriages don't work because there isn't one person collecting the opinions of the household and then making a decision on what's best for the family. Sometimes you just need to let a man be a man and a woman be a woman. Remember, God created man but saw he needed a helper. Not a slave or servant but someone equal to him.

But I agree with Chantel, Tatiana, and Jesse's Girl. Well said ladies!

As a non religious person, I was just about to go on my high horse and flip the crap out, but after reading what she actually said and what some of you lladies deem as "roles" (NOT submissive), I agree in every relationship there's a dynamic in which one takes the lead and the other is the support. I also believe even within the relationship there are certain aspects in which the roles can be reversed as well. It's all a balancing act and as long as you give and receive respect in each dynamic, there's nothing wrong with it. But I agree, submissive isn't the right word to describe it.

I heard about this story a week or two ago. I'm not sure if we can relate to it or not, but ultimately, it's their marriage. If this works for them, then why not.

I definitely agree with Out the Window, also. I think I take the lead on some things, and then I let FH lead when an issue we have is a little more up his alley.

Yea,"submissive" shouldn't have been used. Especially as it seems to be equated with being a Christian wife..not okay imo.

However in certain decisions I do just want DH to decide..or certain things he wants me to decide..I view that as being equal, not submissive..He wants me to be happy and I want him to be happy. It's about compromise and equality, not submission. For us.

Just a side note, it was hard to get past the article being felt like it was written by a teenager and injecting their opinion in capital letters..Are all perez hilton articles like that? yikes lol.

Unfortunately all Perez Hilton's article are like that .I was looking for a more impartial article but had issues finding it with my phone.

My dad raised me to believe in spouses being partners. I can honestly say that neither Lee or I are dominant over the other in running the house. We both make the decisions.

We run this dog and pony show like a Committee.

I can't read it either but for every Christian woman, I would recommend reading theology of the body for beginners. We actually chose the controversial passage as one of our readings. My mom HATES it. She is very upset about it. But she doesn't understand. It says be submissive TO EACH OTHER. Wives be submissive to your husband. Husband, be willing to die for your wife. It's a passage about both parties being completely selfless. The husband represents Christ in the marriage, the wide represents the church. Of course Jesus is the head of the church, but does He do so in a "dominating" way? No. And neither should the husband