Candace Cameron Bure /submissive wife

Submissive on the streets.

Dom in the sheets.

You know that's how DJ Tanner rolls.

I agree on this one. Coming from a culture that already puts a lot of dominance on the male as head of the household (I'm Korean, but born & raised here in the US), I grew-up with this sort of embedded in me. I am by nature a mostly docile (I say mostly because I only get defensive if provoked to an extreme lol - and when this level of provocation is reached - watch out! haha) person, and I guess I do play the more "submissive" role in my own relationship/future marriage. I also grew up very Christian and although I do not go to church any more, do still consider myself a Christian.

That said, she does have a point. Marriage/relationships are definitely partnerships, but in order to make it work successfully, I do think 1 partner has to be "more submissive" than the other. Kind of like with dogs where 1 is the pack leader, ala Cesar Millan (as you can see, I watch a lot of "The Dog Whisperer"! haha).

Let me just say, I am as independent as they come. I have taken care of myself and my daughter on my own for five years prior to meeting my FH. It has nothing to do with not being respected as an independent woman, because I can guarantee you that is what my FH loves about me. He knows I am capable and competent and he doesn't have to worry about my choices either because I am independent. However, you can't be independent in a marriage because you're joining your life with another person. If you're that independent, then your marriage will surely fail. You can't think individually anymore when you're married because you are no longer one, you are one with your spouse. You have to think for the both of you.

I just cannot get my mind around this sort of thing. I was taught that relationships are a partnership - not one person holding more power than the other, but both being equal. My fiance does not make decisions for me, but neither do I make decisions for him. We work things out together. If it means we sometimes take a bit more time to come to a compromise because we disagree on something - so be it; we still come up with something that in the end works for BOTH of us.

Relationships are about partnerships and compromise, not one person being in charge.

I can't read it at work and I'm not really reading all the comments, but this is my input:

I grew up in a conservative Baptist faith and my mom was submissive to the point of abuse and our pastor told her to "trust in God" and that my father would stop beating the crap out of her. I don't trust anyone who tells me to be submissive and go along with what my FH wants to do. Screw that noise. We will be partners and compromise. If it is something important to him and not to me, then I'll let him have his way. If it is important to me and not to him, then he'll let me do it my way. If it is important to both of us, we'll sit down and have a conversation about it and try to come to a resolution.

Love and Marriage isn't about obedience and submission. Love and Marriage is about compromise and trust in each other. Obedience and submission is for dog training.

Ugh still missing it and getting stuck on the modern meaning of the word submissive. When there is a decision to be made, there is an equal discussion. If the husband would do anything to make the wife happy, then there is no way he would make a decision that the wife had not agreed upon

I think that there are a lot of women commenting without reading the article. She probably shouldn't have used the word "submissive" because when she goes on to explain what she meant I agree with her. She clearly says her opinion is voiced and heard and they make decisions together.

Read the article!!! My goodness with the uninformed comments.

I can't read the link at work..but I can say that I was raised in a single parent household and my mother did a PHENOMENAL job. Because of her, I was raised to be independent and I haven't ever had to rely or depend on anyone. FH knows I'm very strong-willed. We're entering our marriage as partners. I don't think either one of us is dominant and I don't want us to be. We both work, we both contribute to the monthly income. We both make the decisions.

For the record; we're both Christians.

I don't think this concept would fly with any of my couples. The word is loaded, and I don't know why she used it. To say. "my voice is heard" is like thanking her husband for taking her opinion into account. Sorry. No.

And why do we care about what she thinks anyway?

But sometimes there ARE decisions in which two people want totally the opposite things..Somebody has to lose in that case..always deferring to one partner is not equal. Any way you slice it.

I guess I'm just confused as to what then is the difference from one side of this debate to the other. If those saying they are having Hubby the leader so to speak are also saying they have an equal partnership and he makes decisions to make the wife happy..how is this different? Are those having the male as head of the household twisting it to make themselves feel like they are more equal than they really are..is someone trying to convince me of something? I am not being facetious, I'm just confused here and want to know. Because I view it as a shared, equal team process..that doesn't mean I'm less of a Christian and it doesn't mean I don't trust my hubby.

I feel like there are some things on each side that people here agree on..I dunno. Does my post make sense? lol.

For people who can't read the 'article' This is what she says

"The definition I'm using with the word submissive, is the Biblical definition of that. So, it is meekness — it is not weakness. It is strength under control, it is bridled strength. It is very difficult to have two heads of authority. It doesn't work in military, it doesn't work- I mean you have one President, you know what I'm saying?" -

That's actually pretty much the whole article.