Candace Cameron Bure /submissive wife

I agree with all of the other Christian girls here. When submissive was first used, it didn't have such a negative conotation with it, but now it does, so people hear submissive and think that the woman is supposed to be this little timid thing who has no say in anything, but that's not it at all.

I am also like Jesse's Girl, where I am very strong willed, independent and at times, stubborn, so it was hard for me to hear "submissive" the first time (I'm a new Christian), but I know my FH will lead us the right way.

Are any of you fans of Dr Laura Schelssinger? I know she is a bit controversial and I'm not behind her 100% on everything, but I really like her advice about "being your husband's girlfriend" and treat him like you did when you were dating. If you haven't read her book, "The proper care and feeding of husbands" I would highly recommend it.

@Champagne- LOL no judgement here :-)

I agree with some of the comments above. I do believe that people naturally fall into roles, however I don't think that these are set in stone. If I'm more experienced/naturally better at something then I usually make the final decision, if FH is naturally better at something then he will make the final decision. BUT, and this is a big but, we always ask each others opinion, and that opinion is always taken into account. Like Ab said above, it's about compromise and equality, not submission.

I look at my parents relationship and theirs is the traditional submissive wife, dominant husband relationship, and I can't help but feel sad that it seems that my mother has sacrificed her wants and needs in life in order to let my father be the leader. Don't get me wrong, they do love each other, but it is definitely not an equal relationship.

Neither FH or I want that.

@GettingHitched, I've heard of her. Thanks for the rec.

Perez Hilton is just trying to stay relevant.

Hell to the no. I disagree with most of what is said here but if I write out my thoughts, I'll just get worked up. It's too early on a Monday for that lol

Edit: The more I think about this, the angrier I get. I think it's best if I just bite my tongue.

If it makes them happy and no one is getting hurt (emotionally or otherwise), who cares?

I get what she's saying and I love the concert. From the outside looking in, most people think I wear "the pants" in our relationship, but that's because my FH knows the true meaning of "Happy wife, happy life". But in return, I like to think I give him most of the power with decisions. It actually frustrates me to no end when he refuses to make a decision on something and just leaves it up to me. But ultimately, he makes the big decisions. I wouldn't be in Alabama right now for his new job if that wasn't the case. He could have either chose to take this job, or take the offer in our hometown and stay there. I left it completely up to him, even though it highly affected me as well.

I'm a Christian too and agree that submissive is the wrong word. To me, it implies too much that you have no agency of your own. I also get frustrated when the majority of the conversation is about the wife submitting to the husband. The Bible also says for the husband to respect the wife, which is rarely given the same attention as the submissive thing (for whatever reasons). I believe in mutual respect and look at our relationship as a team. I respect him and want to do whatever I can to show him that and show him love and support. I expect the same. When it comes to decisions, we talk about it and decide together out of respect for each others' wishes. Whether or not one is "submissive" is moot; We are a team working together and to me, that is what is important.

Shannon A... What is the title and author of that book? I'd like to read it.

I'm with Jenn on this one. If that's how you work, then rock on girl. But that's not for me. And I am a christian and was never taught this.

It is literally called Theology of the Body for Beginners. I believe it is by Christopher West. There is a reaalllyyyy in depth version explaining Pope John Paul 2's document, but I would go for the beginner version. That's what I read. And yes I am catholic, but I think it is a good read for any Christians. It's an interpretation of the same bible

I liked the way she described it but every time I hear submissive wife I think of the way my mom explains it too me which is terrible. My mother has been divorced for 3 years and my dad passed away last year. Anyway since the divorce she has gotten very deep into her religion and has read several books about being a submissive wife. When she explains it to me she tells me how I need to do whatever my FH tells me to do and whether or not I work just as much as he does I am responsible for cleaning the house and he shouldn't have to worry about that since when someone sees the house it is only a reflection of me and not him. Anytime she brings this up we argue because I refuse to be a slave in my own house. We will be running this as we have since we got together 3 1/2 years ago as partners. I was born and raised christian and had never heard of this until my mom started attending a baptist church where I don't believe the majority of the things she tries to shove down my throat.

I'm so surprised at this convo. I honestly believe my FH and I are partners in life and make all choice together or compromised- but I would never be ok being submissive. I think he respects me more for that. I think our relationship would be up for serious trouble if I was submissive. I'm not into roles- I 100% believe in partnership.

Maybe some people's religion supports them with this ideology and it works for them- but it wouldn't work for me.

I love you, @LetItSnow.

I am a Christian too, and I agree with what the other Christian brides have said. One of my pastors taught a sermon on being a submissive wife a couple of years ago, and it has stuck with me since. A lot of women hear the word submit and run away from it without actually thinking about what it really means. I was a single parent for 4 1/2 years up until I got engaged last year. I am so stubborn and strong willed, that it was tough for me to let FH co-parent with me. I just wasn't used to it, and I wanted to control the reigns. I had to talk with God and FH about it, and I loosened up a bit. I trust that my FH will lead our family according to God's Word. I trust that he won't take God's Word and twist it into his own meaning. I will "submit " to him without becoming passive/timid-- that is what being submissive means to me.

Jennifer, that description reminds me of the Stepford Wives thing.. lol I'm sorry, but, IMO submission is not a synonym for slavery, or being a maid. Most everyone agrees that compromise is necessary in order for a relationship to work. Well compromising is a form of submission, because you or the other or both have to relinquish a certain degreee of power or control to the other in order to make them happy.

We are both equally responsible for things that go on in the house, of course. He cooks more than I do, and washes the dishes. I do laundry and keep common areas clean. However, when it comes to certain decisions I leave those to him. He is the King, I'm the Queen. So I support and stand behind him. If I disagree, I tell him. But he still carries the burden. My dad told him when we moved in together that he was now responsible for me and my daughter. To protect and take care and honor us. He is the man. I damn sure and going to the door in the middle of a night to tackle a thief

Aleykit, I have had to come to the same realization that FH is here to work WITH me, and I don't have to do it by myself anymore. A lot of times, it's really hard for me to let someone else deal with my child because I have never really had to do that before. Even when I was married to her father, I did pretty much all the raising, lol. I, however, know that my FH has both my daughter's and my best interest at heart because I trust him.

It's all about trust and playing your part in the relationship.

Nope i am an independent women. And as one i have my own thoughts and opinions. So when things arise me and fh make all decisions together. We both clean our home. We both cook. Although i do cook a lot more then him because he is NOT a good cook ha. So to say i am a submissive wife is not true. And if any of the rest of you live like this and still call yourself a submissive wife get out of the 40s. It is 2014 women. Your actually allowed to have a voice now! Dont take a step back, take 3 forward. No one and i mean NO ONE should be submissive in a relationship.(unless it is sex and your into that) Everyone is equal.

The pastor at our home church put it this way:

"If you (husband) say, or even think about saying the word 'SUBMIT' or 'OBEY' then you are doing it wrong"

so, to each their own as long as it works for you and your FH/Hubby :-)