Cake&Punch AND a registry?

That still seems extremely high, but different regions I guess. Literally the only dress I own over $50 is my wedding dress, but like I mentioned earlier, I've noticed since joining WW weddings in my area are much more casual than other places. Last wedding I went to, I wore an Old Navy dress I already had in my closet and was dressed as 'formal' as everyone else.

And $50-100 for gas? FH drives a huge truck, and can drive around 600 miles for $50. Even round trip, that's not really local.

Not trying to be a smart ass, my mind is just blown.

@MNA we only have barely 150 people on my guest list. We have to assume some people won't be able to come. I don't think 150 is a lot, considering most of it is family and a good portion are kids in the family. We are not gift grabby, we are just not willing to spend money we don't have on a wedding we cannot afford.

I think a registry is perfectly fine for a cake and punch reception

Well you really DON'T need a new dress for a one day wedding. Find a nice one in your closet and you're all set. I would never in my life spend $50 on shoes for said one day event. I have plenty of nice boots and flats available in my closet as well. Why buy new accessories for... wait for it... a one day event? Why not wear some you already own? Nothing to say about the guys clothes cuz I don't know about men's clothing prices. Also, it takes me AN ENTIRE MONTH to spend $50 in gas, how are you going to spend $50-100 on gas for a local wedding? If it's local, why do you need a hotel? If it's local, you can drive home at the end of the reception, especially, like I've said, it's going to be an early afternoon reception. And I'm inviting the children of my family and friends so childcare is not necessary unless the invitee chooses to not bring their child, although they are invited. (NOT sure if any of this has been said already, I just read @MNA s comment and needed to respond how ridiculous it is to spend $1000 on a LOCAL wedding. Also, my guest list is not finalized yet. It is currently at 150, but we may cut it down. There's still a year and a half until the wedding so we have plenty of time.

@ Ashaub: Just because you personally wouldn't doesn't make that the majority. MOST people will likely incur those expenses. The gifts were even placed on the low side, and I'm pricing for my extremely LCOL area. In a higher cost of living area, expect way more.

Oh wait so now if it's @mna's area that does it's just regional

@OliviaP okay but you spent $1300 to be IN your friends wedding you said, not just a guest, but someone IN the wedding. For a guest on the guest list it seems extremely over exaggerating to say you spend a thousand dollars on a local wedding. The weddings I've been to, I wore one of my nicer dresses I already owned, my shoes I wore to my prom, did my hair myself, and put some gifts in a gift bag and some money in an envelope. It cost me maybe less than $100. There's honestly no logical way a guest from 2 towns over would spend $50-100 in gas, for example, unless they are taking every possible side road in every neighborhood they pass... just my opinion though.

And like someone else said, if you cannot afford, or don't want to spend the money, or feel your time is being wasted, etc., then don't go. Let the couple know you're not coming and leave it at that. Honestly, if I knew some people would grumble their way through the reception because my reception didn't match their expenses paid, I wouldn't invite them in the first place. And if you can afford to spend $1000 on each wedding you go to then props to you. I barely make that amount in a month, because like I said, I work minimum wage and can't afford new things for each and every event I go to.

@OliviaP "I spent $1300+ to be in my friend's wedding"...... If I could just request that everyone stop arguing ans fighting. @MNA I honestly feel attacked by some of your comments, calling me "gift grabby" and what not. My original post was a simple question about etiquette and you responded as if I already did the damn thing. We are still trying to figure everything out, and insulting me isn't going to help me figure anything out any faster.

@OliviaP no that comment was not directed at you, but at MNA who is insisting that spending $1000 a wedding is normal for the majority of people

And @OliviaP I do appreciate the kind comment you left near the top, I read it earlier and i just reread it. I'm not trying to be rude, just me as a low income 20 year old, who had to take time out of college because of finances, and was raised to not over-spend where it isn't necessary, does not see why its necessary to spend so much on a local wedding.

@oliviap i never said you spoke ill about my wedding

I will say that I have never spent a dime to be in the wedding of a friend (the only weddings that I have been a part of were mine and my daughters).

As far as a gift....I have never given a gift based on the type of reception. This whole "you cover your plate" idea is foreign to me.

@MNA...really? I have never spent more that $100 to attend a local wedding. Why would someone need to buy a new dress, new shoes, get their hair done, etc? WTF????

Not sure how I was judgemental? I said if you can afford to be able to do that, then props to you. But saying that I can't, and in my opinion it seems a little out there to spend so much a wedding you're invited to makes me judgemental? People might not take lightly to my comments, but i dont take lightly to the comments calling me judgemental and gift grabby for asking for advice and stating my opinion on things, which you are also doing. You stated your opinion, and I stated mine, simple as that. This comment thread is getting way more argumentative than I thought it would.

I've never spent anywhere close to a $1000 to attend a local wedding. I'd love to know how the majority of people manage this. Eta: just saw the breakdown and nope. I do not spend $150 on a new dress for every wedding i go to or $200 on a shower gift. I save that amount for the actual wedding gift. And accessories? The only time I'm buying new jewelery is when I'm actually in the wedding. I also manage to always find a hotel room less than $150/night and if i can't then I'm not paying that for a local wedding. I'd rather uber/cab it home. Maybe I'm just more financially responsible than the average wedding wire poster but it seems like the $1000 figure is totally in your control. There are ways to attend a wedding and not spend that amount.

I think the registry is fine but I would not register for large ticket items.

I do not see anything wrong with adjusting your gift amount based on the event. If I was attending a traditional formal wedding I usually give $100-150 if attending solo. If It was just a cake and punch reception I would give $50. I don't know why there are so many comments here where people bash this thought process. To me, I take into account that I am not having to pay for dinner and drinks at a formal wedding so I would give more money because it is like going out for a night.

I would still set up a registry. People coming to a wedding/reception will expect to still bring a gift.

I gift based on what I can afford and my relationship to the couple. I would never gift less to my niece and more to my coworker because my coworker can afford a host a black tie event.

I've never come close to spending $1000 for a loca wedding. I don't need a hotel... heck luxury car service home would be cheaper LOL. The gas prices quoted are what I spend in a month... certainly not in ONE day.

Most guys I know don't buy a new suit unless they gain weight. Sure they might pick out a new tie, but a new suit for every wedding they attend?! A no.

I don't need to buy new shoes I already have plenty of nice dress shoes. I personally use rent the runway now but prior to that I still didn't need to spend $150 on a new dress for every wedding I attend.